walking for answers...

 Had a good day. Walked 5 more miles, which is turning into a good habit/routine. I get to listen to past episodes of Coast To Coast AM, something I can't get myself to do at home. Ended up at Costco again to have a cheap lunch, and it turned out I remembered something - I can get free food samples to eat there too, which can be slightly filling on it's own. What ended up happening surprised me though. I got talking to a couple of the ladies that serve the food samples, asking them questions about how much they enjoyed their jobs. These women are older than me, which says a lot about their character, but also about the job, that it's not all that difficult to do. I COULD DO WHAT THEY DO and not have to worry about injuring myself like I did at Whole Foods. They also only work the amount of hours that they want to work, which satisfies the other caveat that I have about not making too much money. When I left there I immediately recognized what was happening. God was testing me. Testing my faith and my willpower to just stick it out a little bit longer waiting for the pet sitting season to kick into gear again. If I were to take one of those jobs and wanted to stick at it, it would derail my ability to schedule extended pet sitting assignments. On the other hand, this job could replace my need to do pet sitting jobs. The thing is that during the last several PS jobs I had at the end of last year I finally found my groove utilizing the blessing it is to NOT be at home and having so much free time to devote to my own spiritual work. I do really believe that this is the plan for me right now. So I'm going to hunker down and be patient that the doldrums I'm in now will soon be over. At least I have this one job happening the end of February to look forward to, even though I really need more money sooner than that.

It became aware to me that yet another of my oldest buddies that I've known since high school has never played the lotto. This impresses and astounds me how differently people can come into this world. That some souls really do either plan, or deserve to have lives where matters of abundance are not an issue for them. That these 3 men in their 60s have never felt a need to play a game of chance for the purpose of being able to support themselves. No matter how healthy I've ever been and how hard I've worked, I've never earned enough money to be able to meet all the financial demands that I've created for myself in this world. I've played the California Lottery since the very first day it became available back in the 80s. And yet I've never won that hoped for jackpot that would take care of all my expenses and debts. I suppose this is another element of my character that needs deeper exploring as part of my soul-work, to heal what is broken inside of myself. Hmm, just saying that now gave me the insight that I can do a healing for myself in the Akashic Records and maybe fix this "lack mentality" at its source.

The other thing that I wanted to work on today was to begin "deep journaling" again. This is deep journaling of a sort, writing like this here but there's something different that happens when I handwrite with pen on paper, some other switches are turned on that generate a connection with deeper aspects of myself, where it's easier to tap into higher sources of knowledge and inspiration. I can do this quite well sitting inside a cafe. I wanted to end my long walk today doing that but ended up coming home earlier than planned, so it's my assignment for tomorrow. Take a shorter walk and go to a cafe and sit still for at least an hour writing. I learned of a technique that someone developed where they do a form of "automatic writing" as a means to connect with their own higher self to get inspiration and answers to questions. I want to develop this ability. The person I heard talking about how it's affected his life, well, he takes so much time telling the stories of his experiences that I got frustrated waiting for him to get down to the details of the methods, haha sigh, I mean, more power to him for having such radical experiences and using those stories as a selling point for his "classes", but I can't afford to pay anyone for any kind of classes, and need to figure this out my own way. That's my 750 (821) words for now.