THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

yesterday was a lot easier than i expected it to be. for some reason, there don’t seem to be the maddening crowds of people here on campus that i was fearfully envisioning. at noon yesterday i pulled into the parking lot and immediately found a parking space. this morning, anticipating a flood of students vying for 8am class parking spaces i arrived here at 7:15, only the 9th or 10th car in the entire science building lot. by 8am the lot was virtually full, but then at 8:30 when i decided to wander onto campus towards my 9:30 classroom, i saw that the library parking lot had at least a dozen open parking spaces. this is not how things were in the past. not three years ago. not thirty years ago. maybe they have finally figured out some system for getting an even flow of student enrollment in classes that balances throughout the day. or maybe i just had some dumb luck. i looked up one of my old professors here yesterday, Lenore Gallin, who was very influential in getting me inspired to ...

this project is a step in a new direction for me. someone that i've become acquainted with on the internet coauthored this new book with me. it contains poetry inspired by my photography written by a young woman from Minnesota that has found inspiration in my work. her name is Grace Carthey. we already have two more like-themed books in the works. (pictures are pretty to look at online but nothing is more gratifying than holding a copy of a well designed/crafted book made by a friend in your own hands. buy a copy, won't you?) Cemetery Girl Poems by Gracie & Darko | Make Your Own Book

now would be a good time to scream. i wish i was a screamer because today i would scream. i feel like breaking glass too. yes, that would definitely feel good. i signed off of facebook yesterday, yet again. it’s doing that soul-sucking thing again. this time i didn’t even say goodbye. just clicked off the lights. it was an impulse decision and maybe i’ll sign back on in a few days and find that no one at all even noticed that i had left. THAT would be genius. that would be the exact result i desire in this experiment of my life. but really, a shift is occurring and it feels major. photography is really taking a major reroute right now. i’m extremely agitated by the fickleness of models and can’t stand anyone that won’t jump johnny-on-the-spot and do a shoot right now when i’m feeling like it. i don’t know. maybe i’m having a man-period or something. the last successful model shoot i had was Mairead in November. i begged God for a model in December but not a single one appeared under my...

i hope that what i’m feeling the past couple of days is in fact just due to what i suspect is going off my meds. long story, short story, i lost a bottle of one of my psych meds. i don’t know how or where. end of story is that it’s lost and i have not had any welbutrin for a week now. and now i’m experiencing confusion, lack of focus in being able to carry out tasks to completion but i am also experiencing some really great bursts of insight and inspiration. created some disturbing art over the past few days, which i like the fact that i’m brave enough to do it, but i’m worried because i have some other long term matters that i’m not processing very well. one thing is that the college classes i signed up for begin, well, rather soon. not sure exactly when. the 22nd? or 20th? i can’t miss the first day because if i do i’ll be automatically dropped. thing is, if first day of class is one in which i feel like i felt this morning, there is no way i would even have made it to the college. ...

this is one of the most unusual stories i’ve ever participated in. and it’s true. i’m only going to give you a shell of the experience here because it’s deeper implications will unfold themselves for a long time to come, and right now, i’m not really sure what it all means. i know of a woman that lives in Dublin, Ireland. not a personal acquaintance but an internet friend. we have a few common interests, mainly pertaining to cemeteries and photography. if we were given the opportunity to sit and chat over pints of Guinness or pots of tea we’d probably cement a pretty solid friendship. i’m not saying that i don’t think we are good friends now, but it’s just that the distance of internet friendships creates voids of separation and unknowing that normal familial bonds cannot be founded upon. still, i consider Mandie to be a sister. a soul sister. and what she and i did today, 5,000 miles apart from each other poured cement into the cracks in the pavement that separates the miles between...