THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

 Continuing from the premise I established yesterday, the human mind perceives the outer world through lenses of perception that tint the actual reality we are experiencing with diluted theories that can lead us astray in many ways. Religion is such a lens of perception. It's also a rather dangerous one. In my experience, religion is what opened my eyes to a quicker way of remembering the divine . And that's really what I want to talk about mainly in today's posting. DIVINITY . I may end up stating that divinity  is also created by a lens. But for the most part of my experience, becoming able to recognize divinity in the world is one of the most tantamount achievements we as humans can attain. I need to be wary of causing a sense of separation to be construed. That those who practice religion do not necessarily experience the divine. This is possible, and not a hard or fast rule at all.  So basically, the material of religion, the bibles, the Sistine Chapels, the prayers,...

 but when I employ this maxim thru blog-speak, I'm sure it sounds like all I do is complain. That is not my intention. One of the big things I've learned from Lorie Ladd is that we as individuals, choose to examine the world thru a variety of "lenses"... there are many myriad types of lenses that we can view the world thru, and we can change them as frequently as our initiative to "take a fresh look at things" occurs to us.   For instance, we can view the world (and ourselves, our personal lives) thru a lens of "victimhood". Imagine this quite figuratively, that we wear a pair of glasses (lenses) that program our minds to believe that we are a victim in this world. Someone could experience some hardship in their lives that adjusted their self-opinion to believe the narrative of victimhood and begin to live underneath the power of that programming. I know I've done this at various times in my life. It takes an experience of enlightenment, viewin...

 Sitting in the Danville Library right now, enjoying the quiet of this place and absorbing the energy of so many volumes of mental concepts and ideations that other humans have channeled into storytelling and research projects. I always feel accompanied by The Greats when I get to visit here to write... I'm still no nearer to feeling focused enough on one idea for a writing project to sit down and say, "This is it! This is the story I will commit to paper..." although last night the thought passed through my mind that for my son's sake of understanding who I am and why my life has been as haphazard as it is all these decades that he's witnessed me flounder, it would benefit him to hear my perspective on why my life has been as messed up as it is. Kinda sadly there's no simple answer like, "Oh dad was a drug addict/alcoholic..." and there's a simple way to wrap up all the explanations of why he never accomplished anything. No, it's more like, ...

 So I was listening to Lorie Ladd's Patreon live stream yesterday evening and was made uncomfortable by the stories that two of her patrons shared. These were two different women who had successful lives and successful careers but were unhappy because they were not making as much money as they believed they deserved to make. They were hoping to get even better at doing things that, by my standards, are pretty darn good to start with. In comparison to the career success I've achieved in 63 years of life, these women (in their 30s-40s) have already achieved a status that I know I'll never amount to.  This ruffled my ego's feathers pretty strongly. On top of these ladies not being happy with all that they already have, they had to flaunt it all in public using up Lorie's time and energy that could have been perhaps better used assisting low-life types like myself. I had at one point thought that perhaps I'll "raise my hand" and volunteer for Lorie to coun...

 Somewhere in buried pages of this blog are some entries where I talk about the depth of experiences I have had in developing my friendship with Scarlett. She is the "twin-flame" that I alluded to in my last entry. (Well, i just searched thru the blog to see if I could pull up an entry where I spoke about the soul-mate understandings I have about Scarlett, but couldn't find "it"... I thought there was an entry where I talked about how Rhett Butler awoke the deepest feelings of kinship with her, where I felt so completely united with her... I may look further...) The title of this blog, THIS RHETT BUTLER WILL NEVER DIE, is the basis of these deep feelings of soul union that I have with her. While reading Gone With The Wind, which is her favorite book, a book which I never would have picked up on my own... I was amazed by the character of Rhett Butler, and how his devotion to Scarlett O'Hara was a flawless reflection of how perfectly my soul fit into the puzzl...

 Not terribly focused or inspired while sitting here scrapping my innards for thoughts to share with you... Nothing is wrong, I'm just a little "fried" from all the hype we just passed thru regarding this major eclipse that occurred on Sunday... and by "fried by hype" I mean that I invested a lot of mental and emotional energy into expecting that the eclipse would "rock my world"... not saying that it didn't, but I'm not greatly overwhelmed by how different I feel now compared to how I felt before it happened. What did I expect to happen? Well, I was a bit hopeful of miraculous type things happening... Like having my psychic abilities honed a little more sharper... not saying that they aren't but the one practical (and selfish) device I use them with is trying to predict winning lotto numbers, I ain't no better at this than I've ever been... but this is just today...  One thing I do feel grateful for is how at peace my soul feels no...

 I told you a few posts back that I took Lorie Ladd's ASTRAL TRAVEL course, didn't I? I think I did. I hope I did. I'm astral traveling several times a day now. I think I've done it already 4 times today. I probably should keep a very detailed journal of these experiences, but I can't slip into a strong enough mental focus yet to do it as well as I could. I'm going to detail a few of the experiences here. I like writing them out here because of the few regular readers I have, they would not hear about this if I were to privately journal them. These aren't really experiences that will benefit non-practitioners... they may seem interesting, but I dunno. If nobody says they want to hear more after this post, I will probably shift to privately journaling them. So going in reverse order from the latest experience I had today, well, let me begin with the guided meditation that Lorie led today. This was not an astral traveling experience. Lorie led us all, in visua...

 Today is the first day of the current Mercury Retrograde, and I must say, the turmoil attributed to this holiday has lost its sting in my life. Whatever the universe wants to toss into my court, I'm ready for it. Although, true to MercRetro's characteristics I was awoken by 3 different people trying to baffle me with confusing communications... haha, so classic, but I just breathed my way thru it all and rode that bronco like a champ. On my walk here to Starbucks, I listened to Lorie Ladd's weekly communication where she's revealing more personal stories about her life. The first thing she's talking about is the loneliness that she's experiencing. I feel her struggle, but I no longer suffer from that. Loneliness, that demonic creature used to torment me terribly. I spent decades in the throes of wrestling with it and it sucked so much inherent joy from my life. I never thought that struggle would end. But it did. Lorie's struggle is almost laughable to me b...

 My marriage ended irreparably in 1989. Part of the reason I think that I got married (to this woman) at all, was for the sake of bearing the brilliant son that we parented. And even though he was raised in a broken home, he turned out to be a spectacular and magnificent man. There were so many reasons why our marriage broke, faulty communication being primary and finances being the other. That intro is the launching off point for what I'll talk about next.  In 1990 I had pretty much what was considered a "rebound fling"... Fresh on the streets and looking for action I met a woman at a holotropic breathwork group in Berkeley. She invited me home where I met her roommate, both of which were in massage school (the aforementioned National Holistic Institute) in Emeryville. They convinced me to join the school, invited me to live in their house, I ended up sleeping with this lady and felt like the proper thing to do was suggest we get married. But we didn't... I kinda car...

 Soooo, another one of the women of my life has not risen to the top of my consciousness yet for me to re-explore... but I'm still feeling pretty lit up about exploring deep memories, deep analysis... so let's just see where this blank page leads me to. Talking with Scarlett this morning, she was reflecting on how she is frustrated from not being able to work out a facet of her life that is deeply marred in her natal chart... if you are not familiar with astrological analysis, my putting the details here would on serve to confuse you... but what struck me about what she said was that now that she's lived 30 years and has not been able to resolve these struggles, she thinks she'll never be able to do so in this lifetime. The nerve that struck in me was that I've lived twice as long as she has and even though I was not able to rectify my struggles by my 30s, I have not given up working on them. Being twice her age I'm better at living with these struggles than I...

 One of the most powerful women in my life was Sita. She was an upper-echelon devotee of Gurumayi, during the years I was involved with the ashram in Oakland. She knew Muktananda. I don't remember exactly how she and I met. I should ponder that some... the moment and situation in which she and I met and started our journey together... it must have been a seemingly inconsequential meeting in the Amrit (ashram dining room)... wow, some scenes are coming back to my memory... I think it might have been during a busy morning in the Amrit, perhaps a Sunday after the Guru Gita was chanted and I decided to ask if I could sit at her table because the Amrit would have been full, and it was at a time when my defenses of shyness were weakened... ashram life did that for me, opened my heart, emboldened me to just be myself and not be afraid of meeting new people. I had no intention of trying to make a connection with Sita... I don't even know if I had ever seen her before. I might have. I m...

 I didn't write about Moon Trine Venus, which is the 3rd trine that is found in my natal chart... but since the April 30th, 2022 eclipse yesterday I'm feeling inclined to do some explorations about memories of past relationships with women friends and see if I can use this energy to plant seeds for discovering new potential friends in my future. I'm actually quite content with my twin-flame'ish friendship I have with Scarlett, but there are limitations about how intimate my friendship with her can become. I feel like my heart is yearning for a deeper, more fulfilling, and committed experience, perhaps with a new person altogether.. I mentioned feeling the soul-energy of Michelle coming thru in my dream yesterday, and I'll say more about her later... but the person on my mind today, oddly, is Denise. I have felt for some time a lack of presence of Denise's energy on the planet... so I'm partly convinced that she has passed over. She had a lot of health issues...