THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

I had a rather profound aura reading at Intuitive Way (IW) last night. I say it may be the last reading I'll have for awhile because I'm moving into a new phase of the training where "energy readings" will be offered instead of "free readings" like I received in the first 4 months of my training. I think I'm going to miss these readings because they are so personally enlightening. They have become clearer and more pertinent as I've advanced in the training, but now, in the next phases of my training, I'm going to learn the skills of giving readings. So perhaps I'll also become able to read myself. The Reading: I haven't received my audio recording of the reading yet so I'm writing these notes from memory. A lot of shadowy energy from my ancestors appeared last night. In the first layer of my aura a bold shadow energy from my father's mother appeared (Doris Driscoll) and she was very frustrated with me over the matter of me not...

So one thing they keep finding in my aura readings is that creativity is one of the main purposes tied to why I'm alive. I'll attest to the fact and idea that my happiest experiences in life are when I'm being artistically creative. I feel the most fulfilled creating things. That they keep seeing underlying surges of potential for new creative expressions makes me hope that there will be new projects that I'll become involved with. I have some ideas of things I want to do, but for the most part my creativity feels pretty subdued these days. The height of my creative output ended around 4 or 5 years ago when I stopped doing the Cemetery Girl photography project. I tried to shift back into working on my novel after that, but that project is a painful struggle I cannot bring myself to finish. Even now, while I sit here writing this I feel that I should be working on the novel. It just feels like something that I'm never going to complete. There are so many things tha...

I want to start a small journal where I can talk about the experiences I'm having at Intuitive Way, where I'm developing my psychic abilities and clairvoyant skills. I've been taking classes here for 14 weeks now and have been having quite profound experiences. When I took my first class here called "Meditation 1" I was introduced to meditation techniques that were very different than the ways in which I was taught to meditate at Gurumayi's Siddha Yoga ashram (in Oakland). There is no central point of focus in this psychic meditation like there was in the ashram - where we were taught to discover that God was the center of reality and that it/God dwelled inside each of our own hearts. Now I am being taught mechanical methods of meditation that enable my psychic sensitivities to "see" the condition of my energetic being "more clearly". I believe that my experiences now would not be as powerful as they are if it had not been for my previo...

Before I get too far into this let me tell you that things have been taking amazing changes in my life over the past two months, since I began this new meditation training. I am developing my psychic skills with the intent of becoming a clairvoyant healer. Meditation is not a new thing for me, but being able to meditate is key to being able to do this invisible, inner work. Since I have been practicing meditation off and on for the past 2 decades, this elementary stage of development has been pretty easy for me. Yesterday in class, something pretty substantial occurred. I was introduced to a "healing master" that is my own personal sidekick now for doing healing works thru and with. I can't find any other traditions that talk about this type of thing occurring. I think the group I am getting my training thru has developed this kind of agreement with "spirit" to give people this unique kind of training. I'm not the first, nor last student to go through this e...

I started a new meditation class at a place that teaches people how to develop their clairvoyant abilities. Their methods are based on the practices used at The Berkeley Psychic Institute. I learned how to meditate a different way through my association with the teachings of Gurumayi Chidvilasananda and the path of Siddha Yoga. This new meditation style is very different. I just want to make some notes here about the experience I had in my class tonight. One of the goals tonight was for us to get in touch with one of our spiritual guides. I have many that I have interactions with, but the primary and supreme guide I've had awareness of for most of my life is a guardian angel. It's one being with three facets, a triune being, and I do believe it is an actual heavenly angel. I may tell more about how I came to discover this being in another posting - I may have written about it long ago too. Anyway, this being told me before that it's name is Kriskeon, and I have never forg...

This is a special story I am going to share with you today. It is about how a plant that is native to Indonesia has revolutionized how I take care of my mental health. The plant is called kratom. Farmers in southeast Asia harvest the leaves from kratom trees and grind them into a very fine powder. You can read a lot about kratom and it's history, and it's healthful benefits on the internet. A lot of people use kratom for a variety of types of health benefits. My mental health problems have been going on for nearly two decades now. I was diagnosed as being bipolar when I was 40 years old. I had a very severe mental breakdown from severe mood swings that had been going on for about a year. Thankfully, hospitalization was not required, but I was put onto a large variety of anti-depressants and mood stabilizers. Eventually, my diagnosis was changed stating that I was suffering from schizo-affective disorder and anti-psychotic medications were thrown into my pharmaceutical cocktai...

I had a dream this morning where I was in an old Asian city and I went to this wise old man for a massage. Once I laid down on his table and he began to work on me, I started to drift away mentally and all I remember seeing/feeling him do while my eyes were still open was to put some acupuncture needles into my left thigh and right bicep. Then I was out of consciousness. I could tell that his specialty was Thai massage from the one position he started to put me into as I passed out. Well, in my sense, it was late at night when I came to his stall - like 10pm, but when I came out of the deep trance his body work put me into, it was 6am when he finished. He gave me body work all night long!! I heard his wife commenting to my mother that "he must have needed it".  (I've never had a dream like that before! It was great!) then the dream took a more mundane and earthbound turn of events, i went to an outdoor music festival. i was one of the first patrons there and i got to wa...

Okay, let's try an experiment. I've been writing this story for over ten years now and it's very long. I've finally figured out a system for motivating myself to edit the story to make it ready for publication. I'm rewriting it. Dozens of people have heard about me working on this project over the past decade, and I've invited a few of them to read it - and some have! But I know that in its unedited condition it's a hard tome to struggle through, and I thank those that did read it, and I apologize to those that could not get through it. Thank you all for your efforts. Here is the experiment I want to try out now. I'm going to post one chapter at a time here in this blog while I progress with my editing. This is probably going to be what the final product will look like. I'm pretty much just going to announce updates on my Facebook page. I'm more interested in people I am close to getting to see this than I am of opening it up to the entire worl...

I don't too often come here to record my dreams, not anymore at least. I started taking Seroquel again about a month or so ago and since then I've been having dreams that I can remember. The last two nights though my dreams have been stranger  than usual. The first dream had me following along with two guys who were driving down San Ramon Valley Blvd to a destination about half way between Norris Canyon Road and Bollinger Canyon Road. That was where I identified the location to be in my mind, but there is no such building like I saw in my dream at that real life location. I don't remember exactly what it looked like now either, it's too long since I had the dream. But they were going there to kill someone. They were worried about time - that if they didn't get there in time that they'd be too late, for a bigger disaster to develop and occur. They were tense and might have been arguing. Anyway, they got to the building, got out of the car and found the people t...

Several things... some are not new; my ever-living novel, which only a couple of people have had glimpses of is still on my mind. I woke up with a new spell of inspiration to work on editing it, yet again, back in March... and then last week I had a resurgence of inspiration with an actual procedural breakthrough that gave me even more hope of finishing it. I need to get rid of these gaps of rising hope and inspiration and get a constant stream of dedication to the project. I can't give any forecast of how long this editing - now it'll actually be rewriting/editing, page by page, will take. I'll just keep letting you know here whether I'm working on it at the present moment or not. I've had a reawakened interest in reading the tarot develop. My best friend had a remarkable experience of determining that reading the tarot is her calling in life, and I've been riding a little bit on her coattails - I've bought a couple of new decks and have been trying to do...

Wow, 9 months since I last felt the need to write here... I didn't die. I didn't fall in love. Well, maybe those are half truths... parts of me have died, and parts of me have been in love. Nothing tremendous has happened in that time, though. I didn't get another new job. I didn't graduate from college. I have not met the love of my life. I have just kept on doing enough things in satisfactorily enough fashion to keep me out of jail, out of the mental ward, and out of being buried in the cemetery. Have I settled for mediocrity then? Perhaps I have. It seems that when I used to be under the compulsion to write here I had strong feelings about things.  I had strong questions about the ideas I was contemplating and wondered aloud about how to make the right decisions for myself. I used to cogitate the projects I was dreaming up and I complained about how I never had the right kind of support I needed to get things done right. Yes, I do miss the writing/talking aloud tha...