THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

Update: that new theory about dowsing lotto numbers, philanthropically - kablooie. Still can't get all 4 numbers right. I can still get 3 numbers right, and have the 4th number off by just one... I'm not giving up on this, but until I gain some new, even fresher perspective, I'm taking a break. So when the pandemic began back in March, a good friend (from just a couple years back) reached out to check in on me and my family. It's sad that our friendship has lapsed because overall I saw the good in her soul. And she was readily available to me for conversation. She also attended mom's memorial service, which was really quite huge. Anyway, she gave me the name of this woman that makes regular video commentaries about the spiritual ascension process that is occurring on earth right now. I listened to her most current video that very night, and I was impressed by her insights and the compassion she expressed for her listeners. I now listen to whatever she publishes as...

I'm not ready to break out my volumes of files and folders that contain all of my typewritten pages that make up my possibly great American novel, just yet. I'm going to need some warming up and ego building to give me confidence that I'm really ready to go back into that tempestuous struggle. So here's where my head is today. Last week I had an experience with my best friend that led me to think that what we had just gone through was good material for a short story. I've never been a good short story writer, have never really had much impetus to write short stories. and also have not read a lot of short stories... wow, the odds are so against me being good at following this lead of an idea. But it's not like I'm really writing them for anyone other than myself. I'm not writing them for a class or any contests. I just want to try writing them to get my storytelling juices flowing again. And maybe by starting to write some so-called short stories, I mig...

with just hours left in it's beating heart, September is coming to a close.  September is the fullest month of the year for me and this year was no exception. It was focused on celebrations of births and deaths in glorious splendor. For some reason right now I don't feel inspired like I usually do when I sit down to blog to go into any details about what events occurred, even though I really should. It was that spectacular of a month. Maybe this quick footnote right now will pull me back to write in fuller detail about the things that occurred before their impact fade from my memory. And maybe I'll even go beyond my normal blogging techniques and include some photos of the people and places that were seen. Why I really opened up this page to scribble thoughts upon tonight was to put some energy into the idea of reopening my "novel" and perhaps going back to work on it. When I tried to work on it last year, even though I made some truly grand progress in consider...

Oh me, oh my... it's that time of year again, when i get so excited and so focused and so productive, and sit in cafes with my head down and my fingers pounding heavily. it's the time when i'm most strongly imbued with the muse of creativity. and i'm always amazed, on a daily basis at what i'm able to conjure up with my inner dialogue. it's an addiction and it is something that i abuse with wreckless abandon... sadly never ending with sitting down the next month to do a once over editing/rewriting what i conjured up... So I had two chances to write more for my story/novel earlier this year when nanowrimo had two other months of writing; April and July. and i did sit down and started writing, but i was unable to stay focused, and gave up before each month ended. the quandary i ran into was that I was freezing up with ideas and inspiration about how to continue with the log jam i had created with my character telling her story. it was creative failure, for sure....

i've been in need of, and in search of a writing mentor for a number of years now, and well, this week she found me. she is offering all of the support that i have hungered for. the companionship and attention i have believed would help me obtain the focus i need to get focused enough to pour out this novel, and finish writing it. how she has the time for me, i do not understand. maybe she is intrigued by my story and would like to be able to read it. i think she does this for others too, as she is a professional writer and teacher. i just feel blessed that i've slipped into her camp and that she appreciates what i have brainstormed so far, and that she shares a sense of both belief and expectation in me, that i can and will finish this project. in a way, this is evidence of me shifting into a high gear of manic activity, and i know that i should be wary of over extending myself. i am pulling back the reigns on the photo project, which i clearly have already overextended myself...

Ok, it is March 6th, 2008 and I am ready to sit down and get serious about the writing of my novel once again. I feel a new inspiration to delve deeply into the work but in looking over my hand written notes and my attempts at typed chapters I feel a sense of confusion. There are so many ideas of who I want to be in the story and what I want to have happen between them. I feel good about one thing; I know the progression of the story up until how it ends. The way it feels now there are several ways that it could end and I don't think I'll decide until I get to the point in my writing where I am nearer to the end and have to make final decisions. And I am fine with that. Tonight I am going to print off what I am calling my beginning chapters and pore over them to see what works and what doesn't work and maybe I'll rewrite those "chapters" so that they are cohesive and flow, unifying their voice and connectivity. In fact, that is a very good idea. Because now wi...

there is something very strange happening to me. this novel, this creature inside of me that yearns to be heard is stirring and troubling me; yet again. it has a spirit, a living breathing personality that is in reality "me". i'm not sure how to please it other than let it have the life it desires, by writing it. i feel like soon i will just put the camera equipment away. all the energy i put into creating images has stolen away my spirit from my writing. pretty pictures are one thing and can only say so much. a picture is worth a thousand words? i don't think so. 1000 words can say soo much more than any picture. at least the pictures that i have created aren't so vocal. this whole thing with the "Cemetery Girl" photo sets got way out of hand. they were starting to lead to a place that i could go, being a portrait photographer, and that is still something i may do on the side, but i got caught up in a manic wind of wanting to do nothing but shoot more a...

Nanowrimo, National Novel Writing Month, occurs during the month of November every year. I successfully completed writing a 50,000 word novel by participating in this project one year, 2004 I believe it was. Did I ever go back to edit or rewrite that piece of "work". I might have played around with it for a couple of months but basically gave up on it. The years since I ceremoniously jump on the projects bandwagon but have not completed it again. This year I felt a little more ambitious about the project, and actually, each year I cumulate an aura of energy and excitement about the work I have done on my real, ongoing novel project for my book about the story of a young girl haunted by the ghost of a literary master and use November to get more focused and centralized. November is like my "New Years" when I make resolutions to work more and harder on finishing the novel. Am I actually any closer to getting this thing finished? No, not really but in the last year the...

there will be things that you just can't get someone to help you with. case in point: my efforts over the past year to find someone that lives in the Boston area to visit Eugene O'Neill's gravesite in Jamaica Hills, and obtain a handfull of dirt for me. so today i found inspiration to improvise. i called the National Park Service on Monday to make a reservation for a tour of Eugene O'Neill's house, here in Danville. i wanted to go yesterday because it was his birthday yesterday, but they only give tours Wednesday through Sunday. today had to suffice. yesterday would have been a great day to go too because it rained yesterday. the forecast for today was sunny skies. oddly, it actually rained this morning and there were cloudy skies. i got a call at 10am from the park service confirming a spot in the 12:30 tour for me. i scrambled together my camera gear because i wanted to get lots of photos. i'm working on those now as we speak and they will be up on my flickr a...

i don't know what it was about reading this, but somehow it got me excited and i suddenly feel an urge and conviction; a belief if you will, that i CAN write this book, and well, do it now. with NanoWrimo happening next month i think i will shift my focus so that i will start to just pour this puppy/kitty out. who's with me?? http://squeakingnoodle.blogspot.com/2006/09/writing-book-in-one-hit.html