THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

and look where i am, in the Dylan section! egads!

What is wrong with my writing right now: an essay by D.W. Barnett I would say that the thing most obvious to myself that is wrong with my ability to write consistently right now are the facts that I am not truly connected to my inner spirit. And even now as I read those words that I just wrote, while trying to find an answer that sounds more like an excuse than a truth. Although I think back to periods of time, even when I was in the inspired stages of creating this very novel that I am working on now when I experienced daily epiphanies of discovery and powerful feelings of self worth because it all seemed to be “coming together”. Times when I was both strongly inspired and was feeling physically healthy. (Don’t mind matters of feeling mentally well other than not being in incapacitating depression. Mania so rarely destroys me. Depression is my slayer.) I enjoy so much being back able to work now. If there were a wage attached to it, that would be nice, but I don’t know that I am...

This is such an excellent resource I am going to add it as a permanent link to this page. Enjoy! http://books.google.com/googlebooks/scarystories/

i wish i knew where Steve Mahoney was right now. he was the first person that i ever met that was really into Bob Dylan. i couldn't understand his fascination though. Steve was pretty much a "buzz junkie" i think, but he was also what i'd consider a pretty solid man of words and song. anyway, this post is not about Steve, who i could or may write more about at another time, or may borrow from the character of for inspiration for my own fictional writing... i want to speak about what seeing Bob Dylan perform the other night was like for me. going to a concert is like meeting up with family. and usually there is some dysfunctionallity involved. you will find all manner of characters in a concert family as you would at a family gathering; be it a reunion or a Thanksgiving-like dinner. the neat thing though about concert families is that you get a different kind of family to hang out with depending on the type of music you are going to hear performed. it is especia...

There is only one thing "bad" about going to a Bob Dylan concert, and that is having to go alone. Not having someone to talk to about the show afterwards, or to get excited with when he is singing an especially liked song. Kind of a drag.

This pic is of the closest Bob and the band got to the actual audience during the entire show. They walked up after the last song of the encore and Bob raises his hands as if to say thanks. He also took off his cowboy hat. This being a wonderful cam-phone photo, the colors blur - look at that object in the air between the second and third man from the left on the stage. That is a bouquet of flowers that someone threw up to Bob. Which he in part graciously accepted.

these were the only pictures i took of the concert. the would not let me bring my proper digital camera into the stadium, even though they had advertised in advance that cameras WOULD be allowed. at the last minute the band "changed their mind". so i snapped these with my phonecam. well, from all reports that i can find, last nights event of the Pink Floyd PIG breaking free from it's restraints and floating away into the ethers was unique and unplanned. "Roger came back after intermission and asked, "Did anyone see where my PIG went?" it was hilarious as we all saw where it went, up to the sky, towards the ocean directly in the flight path of San Francisco airport. Shannon made a great joke. "Let's go find it and sell it on eBay!" Hearing them play DARK SIDE OF THE MOON with the waning moon in clear view was truly an awesome and inspiring experience. One i won't quickly forget.

that is my bottom center, Steve is on the left in red (he has a PhD in anthropology), Shannon is top center (he has a masters in anthropology) and that is Jason on the right (he went to UCSC too). there must have been 50,000 people in the field watching the show last night. i have comments to make about the stink of exhaled pot fumes to make but i'll do that later. WE HAD FUN! i'm so glad these guys all came with me!!

i left San Ramon at 4pm. Steve and i did not get to the Shoreline Amphitheater until 7pm! on top of that, we sat in the parking lot AFTER the show for an hour waiting for the traffic to move. it was total gridlock because of poor access roads to lousy parking. i didn't get home until 2:30am!

i don't know what it was about reading this, but somehow it got me excited and i suddenly feel an urge and conviction; a belief if you will, that i CAN write this book, and well, do it now. with NanoWrimo happening next month i think i will shift my focus so that i will start to just pour this puppy/kitty out. who's with me?? http://squeakingnoodle.blogspot.com/2006/09/writing-book-in-one-hit.html

looks like the Yankees are not going to the playoffs. at least i am not the only loser today. at least they are out playing the game though. i started to take more Cymbalta 2 days ago, so now i am up to 40mg a day; 20 when i wake up and 20 at dinner time. and for now i am in the throes of adjusting. which means i feel really lousy physically, and emotionally. fine time for it to happen to as this weekend is sock-full of great things i could be out doing. tonight at the ashram is the annual celebration of Muktananda's mahasamahdi , the biggest get-together they have of the year. and i feel no inclination to attend at all. in fact, i've been in bed all day and will go right back there after i finish writing this. two other things that are happening are literary events. the main one is in Danville, just 5 miles away; The Eugene O'Neill Festival - there are talks being given all day by professors and authorities and i would have loved to have attended these, especia...

i am posting this at school so i don't have access to any of my personal photos of Clive and myself, sad to say, my connection with his energy is rather weak right now. my personal writing is at one of it's weakest ebbs. i don't know why my link to my inner words is broken. it must be that i don't have anything that i believe in anymore. i will go to the cemetery tonight. i will light candles tonight on this night of the full moon and this evening of the first rains of the season. i am wearing my power talisman from Ellen today. i am depressed, its true. pdoc told me this afternoon to increase my Cymbalta dosage to 40mg. let's see what that does. i am sorry Clive that i did not remember that yesterday was your birthday. i owe so much to you. well, i'm editing this post since i first wrote it. that is in fact the picture i was talking about. and lapse brain that i am, yesterday, the 5th of October WAS in fact Clive's birthday. later last night i...

http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2006-10-04T125857Z_01_L04531126_RTRUKOC_0_US-AUSTRIA-BODY.xml&src=rss

http://www.ireland.com/newspaper/front/2006/1005/1158591393576.html

storm blowing in off the north-Pacific tonight. first of the autumn, which is pretty early actually. another phonecam pic, emailed to BLOGGER. expect to see more...

took this with my phonecam and emailed it to BLOGGER, all while speeding when i should have been driving 40mph. cool, eh?