THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

it’s been a strange week and i’m not sure what i think about things anymore. haha, that’s a loaded statement, huh? there are some things that have happened that are making me think differently though. the Cemetery Girl project may be over. it could be. it doesn’t have to be, but if i wanted it to be, now would be an opportune time to end it. i don’t really want it to be over because i really do love it so much. but i need to make some changes as to how it operates. and i don’t think i need to bother you with the details. i’ve pretty much figured it out on my own already. quite often, i’m good at this. figuring things out on my own. if you do want to know what happened and what i’m going to change, you could ask me. i’ll tell you. it was just weird and unexpected. drama. but i think it will make me a better photographer and a better businessman as a result. and who knows. maybe the project is over. we’ll just have to wait and see what happens. i don’t want to talk about it right now. ...

Cemetery Girls | By Daryl "Darko" Barnett | Blurb The People's Choice Award voting has begun at Blurb for this years Photography Book Now contest. You can only vote one time, for one book. I hope you'll vote for mine. You only have until August 20. Thanks!

let me speak in more base terms about the understandings i have of my own struggles right now. November is nearing. November is when Nanowrimo occurs. National Novel Writing Month. the one period of time during the year when i’ve been able to become extremely focused with my desire to write, and achieve a goal. it really is a magnificent period of global focus; amateur, first time, and wannabe writers all over the world sit down together for 30 days and grind out 50,000 word novels together. the excitement that people generate in their own little lives during this time is magnetic and kinetic; you can feel it and tap into it and become supercharged by it. well, look at me! November 1st is 96 days away and already i’m getting all agog about it! just this week i’ve started to go through a reassessment about it is i will do next in my creative life. i’ve finished two volumes of photo books in the Cemetery Girls series and wonder if i should call it quits now. i’m not really tired of the ...

that’s what it’s all about, for the majority of us, isn’t it? we either live lives that glorify our selves or that glorify something we consider to be -=god=-. we either want to be praised, or we praise. well, and there are some of us that just want to fade away into obscurity, although i think we all do all three of things all the time anyway. the triune spirit, the past/present/future, me/myself/i… but if you are going to live a life dedicated to the service of god, make it clear that that is what you are doing. separate yourself from the milieu and don sackcloth. become a student of St. Francis or of Mother Theresa and serve others. i’m too selfish to do this. hell, i won’t even volunteer to serve meals at Thanksgiving. or take a minimum wage job that would force me to reanalyze my priorities on a moment to moment basis. why are we (am i) so obsessed with self pleasure? why do we have to be happy? is it an american thing? because there are a hell of a lot of people of this planet th...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NakicbfCYKg

Retro pinhole android Originally uploaded by daryldarko pinhole retro cam for the android

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ys_tlR2DB8 there are 4 videos of me telling this story, each one a little bit different but this is the only one i could get to upload. (because the others were too long, i talk to much when i'm by myself, sigh)

After every happiness comes misery; they may be far apart or near. The more advanced the soul, the more quickly does one follow the other. What we want is neither happiness nor misery. Both make us forget our true nature; both are chains--one iron, one gold; behind both is the Atman, who knows neither happiness nor misery. These are states, and states must ever change; but the nature of the Atman is bliss, peace, unchanging. We have not to get it, we have it; only wash away the dross and see it.

Dear Friends, To some of you, this may be a very special story. Others of you may find it of interest too. I am sitting in my car, in the parking lot of Woodrow Wilson Elementary School in San Leandro, California. Now those of you who are the special ones know that I am talking about you. What has happened tonight is a full story that I will tell more of in another piece of writing, but lets call it fate that brought me to this parking lot tonight. Driving by, at midnight, I saw lights on in one of the classrooms that a couple of us had classes in together; when we were between the ages of 6 and 10 years old. I had decided to drive by here consciously but I was not intending on stopping. that was an unexpected surprise. I pulled in off of Williams St. in the lot behind the old cafeteria building. I paused and looked over at the building of classrooms that flanks off to the left. There was a class room, right there, that I had a class in when I was 10, in 6th grade with Mr. ...

now there was something uniquely mysterious about how the “spirit of christ” was magnified, or intensified (quantified?) when in the presence of other people. meet with another person that shares a common interest with you, no matter what it is, and you feel strengthened, right? stand as an individual with your “beliefs”, “understandings”, “misunderstandings”, “concepts” and you are not much more than a force of one unless you have some lifeline to connect you to a larger body of instigators. a song, an anthem, a souvenir from an event, a memory… i had experiences of being with other people that professed a “belief in christ” that caused an amplification of my states of mind, my states of spirit, but was it because i was with these other people that this intensification occurred or was it something internal/external that triggered heightened sensations. christians will cite scripture that says “when two or more of you are gathered in my name, i am there with you”… but this is true abo...

i don’t want to make this a comprehensive account of my memories. i’m just grasping for links right now to my strongest recollections of what it was like to be young and possessed with a love of this spirit we called “Jesus”. i’m not writing this as a Christian who has explainable memories. i’m writing this as a skeptic and agnostic that remembers there being something overwhelmingly convincing about making mental concessions that convinced me that this spiritual being named Jesus could affect emotional changes in my life. there was a time before i “believed” in this man’s name, then there was the time after i began believing. and i recall there being a dramatic change in the ways that i felt about everything after that change occurred. the time before i allowed this spirit to infect me, i was following a path of maturity towards becoming a hard nosed bully. i grew up in a city of bullies and went to school with bullies. i knew no one that was not hard nosed, nor that was not affected...

in one of the most moving scenes of Joan of Arcadia, Joan tells young-hot-student God that “you hurt me”. he had caused confusion in her life. he had led her down a path where, when she dared to believe in him, that he was HIM, that she dared to follow his guidance, and do his bidding, he overdid it and drove her crazy. and then he has the gall to say, “yeah, but did you miss me?” and through tears she lies, “No.” then the bombshell is dropped. he asks, “did you miss yourself? i did.” God misses us? God misses us when we are disconnected from ourselves? So is it true that we, our selves, are God? Are we Buddha? Are we Christ? Are we Muhammad? are we  all God wearing the skin of strangers waiting to wake up and see that it is ourselves that we want to have from each other? do i sound confused, now, more than ever? i have memories of youth when Jesus seemed so real and alive to me. When his being-ness seemed like a real person that actually walked everywhere I went with me. I could ...

so season two of Joan of Arcadia begins with Joan returning from having spent the summer at a treatment center for people with emotional/mental health issues. it was determined in the season finale of season one that she had been bit by a tick and was infected with Lyme Disease; thus the cause of the so called hallucinations she was experiencing. Having real life experiences in which she thought Almighty God was appearing to her and speaking to her in the form of normal human beings that she would meet by chance in her everyday life. during the stay at the treatment center she underwent therapy where she became convinced that the experiences were not real. that she did not even see the people we saw her conversing with. suspension of disbelief in the show, we believe that she is meeting these people that are God and believe that God is giving her personal messages, which she in turn acts upon and good things happen in her life as a result. i think the problem for her was that God appe...

Cemetery Girls by Daryl "Darko" Barnett | Make Your Own Book

in the 70’s a lot of young people talked to God and weren't afraid to admit it. i used to lead prayer meetings before school, at lunch time, after school. in fact, i used to cut class to sit in the quad to read the bible with other kids that believed. to me, it was a serious thing, to be a believer. i based my life on it. my belief in God was the most important thing in my life and i risked graduating from high school on my radical belief-havior. watching Joan of Arcadia brings back so many memories for me of how i used to behave and believe back then, but it makes me sad in my heart because today someone who acts like i did back then is considered to be crazy. sure, they thought i was crazy back then too. they used to call me names but i also had respect because i stood up for what i believed in. today when someone thinks you do anything that warrants the label “crazy” they immediately send you to a therapist and medicate you. plus, people become afraid of you. they don’t want to...

there was a movie that came out 4 years or so ago called “13 Going on 30”. it’s a fantasy romance chick flic about a teenage girl that can’t wait to grow up and be famous, living her life, being the woman she dreams of being without having to go through any more of the torture of being an adolescent girl. the bulk of the movie is a dream sequence where she does actually become this 30 year old woman who realizes that in the process of getting to where she wanted to be, famous, she lost the most important and valuable aspects of her life; the friendship of her soul mate that was her best friend growing up. the boy next door. luckily for her, in her dream, she realizes this and gets a second chance to repair her friendship with this boy so that she will not make the mistake of losing him. i love this movie for a lot of reasons. the stupid reason i love it is because Jennifer Garner is both ultra-sexy and innocent girl all combined at once. mind blowing performance, really. but the thing...

bunch of things buzzing my spirit this week. been home 5 days from L.A. now but i still feel under the influence of it’s infection upon my soul. i have been stirred and do not see things in the same way anymore. i have to ramble a bit here until i hit on something solid, so bear with me. something new came upon me while visiting graves in Los Angeles. an urge to sit still, listen and feel the energy of the love (or lack of love) in the air. what has been generated by those that come to visit (or do not come to visit) a cemetery. Hollywood Forever Cemetery had one of the most tangible sensations of “love/respect” energy in the air that I’ve ever felt before. when i returned to the cemetery on three separate solo visits i was overwhelmed and forced to stop what i was doing (investigating, photographing, trying to take it all in) and just sit down to feel the waves of consciousness wash over me. there is energy of the living and the dead in this place. later, this prompted me have an ent...