THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

 Well, today is 5 years since my mother died. Or so it's believed. Somehow I have records showing that she died on the 19th of January. Both my family tree record, and her gravestone shows it to be the 19th. But bro insists its the 18th. Which means I somehow screwed things up, as usual, and had the cemetery put the wrong date on her stone. I do remember it being a Friday night when she died in 2018. Okay, I just looked at a calendar and rolled the dates back to January of 2018. The Friday night that week was the 19th. So maybe it wasn't Friday night she died. Maybe it was Thursday? But I think my bro has always been telling me on Fridays that it's been such and such many weeks since she died... I guess the evidence leans more towards him being wrong here... he has possession of her death certificate. So that would be the hard proof. Here's the end of this though, I don't want to be in a discussion/debate/argument about this at all with him. Or a debate about anythi...

 Sitting in the Danville Library right now, enjoying the quiet of this place and absorbing the energy of so many volumes of mental concepts and ideations that other humans have channeled into storytelling and research projects. I always feel accompanied by The Greats when I get to visit here to write... I'm still no nearer to feeling focused enough on one idea for a writing project to sit down and say, "This is it! This is the story I will commit to paper..." although last night the thought passed through my mind that for my son's sake of understanding who I am and why my life has been as haphazard as it is all these decades that he's witnessed me flounder, it would benefit him to hear my perspective on why my life has been as messed up as it is. Kinda sadly there's no simple answer like, "Oh dad was a drug addict/alcoholic..." and there's a simple way to wrap up all the explanations of why he never accomplished anything. No, it's more like, ...

 Today is the first day of the current Mercury Retrograde, and I must say, the turmoil attributed to this holiday has lost its sting in my life. Whatever the universe wants to toss into my court, I'm ready for it. Although, true to MercRetro's characteristics I was awoken by 3 different people trying to baffle me with confusing communications... haha, so classic, but I just breathed my way thru it all and rode that bronco like a champ. On my walk here to Starbucks, I listened to Lorie Ladd's weekly communication where she's revealing more personal stories about her life. The first thing she's talking about is the loneliness that she's experiencing. I feel her struggle, but I no longer suffer from that. Loneliness, that demonic creature used to torment me terribly. I spent decades in the throes of wrestling with it and it sucked so much inherent joy from my life. I never thought that struggle would end. But it did. Lorie's struggle is almost laughable to me b...