THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

 Midnight came, and 40 minutes of it passed before I gave up the fight in my mind about what to write about here tonight. Since I had no new ideas rising I was debating waiting till morning to see if I had any dreams occur that I could describe. Some of my most enjoyable writing in the past is when I have dreams that I can remember after waking that I felt like documenting. One of the very first pieces of creative writing I did when I was a sophomore in high school was one of these "endeavors"... to not do more than just write down descriptions of what it was that I saw, felt, and experienced in my dreams one particular night. My creative writing teacher thought it showed signs of promise for me to have a future as a writer, and it was probably the tantamount event of anything I did in all the years I was in high school trying to garner academic acclaim. I remember that the next time I tried to write something as prosaic as that first "story", it fell flat. Trying t...

 I found God when I was 14 years old (1973). Or, God awoke my awareness of ITSELF when I was that age. I wasn't looking for God but somehow, I was ready to be awakened and flooded with God's love at that point in my life. Just 2 years after the death of my father, perhaps, this was God's way of interceding and protecting me before I could seriously get lost. Sadly, I still ended up getting seriously lost when I turned 18. 5 whole years of devotion to God, of being flooded with God's Grace, of developing visions of how I wanted to impact the world through becoming a missionary of God's love to the world, what a miraculous time that was. But it was shortlived.  When I turned 18 I went away to college and the shock of being out in the world on my own thrust the unresolved pain of the loss of my father back into my face. Despite all the associates I spent time with in high school, I was programmed to be a loner in this lifetime. (I'm still a loner to this very day.)...

These photos are from 2 weekends ago. I got together with two old, high school friends to hang out for the day. We were acknowledging the fact that we were all still alive to turn 50 years old. I've been best friends with both of these guys, individually, and they too were best friends together. I've stayed in touch with Thor the most over the years with there only being short gaps of time in the late 80's/early 90's when we lost contact. Heffner on the other hand, I was out of touch with longer, only re-finding him about 5 years ago thanks to the internet. We are very different in our lives in many ways, yet there are many, many ways in which we are still very similar. The thing that counts is that I still enjoy their company and find them easy to talk to. Heffner and I live nearby and see each other about once a week. Thor on the other hand lives in the southland and I only get to see him about once a year. We always have some kind of adventure together. Ok, that'...

I'm sitting in a cafe in the town I went to high school in and I'm witnessing, innocuously, an event not very dissimilar to something that happened to me that long time ago. A nice looking guy is trying to have a conversation with a very pretty girl. Actually, they are about equal in looks but she thinks that he is not good enough for her and is letting him know why. I'm just glad there is not a bible on the table because it would remind me too much about my own experience. I don't know if high school kids take bibles to school these days or not. Strange, but the girl I am thinking about that did "this" to me, all those years ago, didn't have the courtesy this girl has in actually sitting down and listening to this guy explain himself. So kudos to her for that. Also funny is that the name of the girl that gave me the cold treatment all those years ago, came up today. Caron. I don't think I've ever heard or seen anyone else with that name in all the...

the telling of this story is for a young friend of mine. rather than cram it into her Facebook wall, i thought it might be better to offer it up here where there is a little more room for expansion and who knows, others might find it of interest. i was a strange person in high school. i had two personas; star athlete and campus jesus freak. i also did not do well in my studies, never had a girl friend, and laid the foundations for being the loner that i am today. when i say "campus jesus freak" i mean that if you were to ask anyone that went to my high school during the years that i was there, i would be the person that people would remember the most as being a freak about jesus. i started a movement there within a month of becoming a student at Monte Vista High School in Danville, California. today i have regrets about how the fervor i experienced and spread infected the thinking and behavior of those i then tried to lead to believe what i believed. how many lost souls there...