THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

i don't even know how to start to venture into contemplating these questions right now without admitting to you that i am sitting here crying while listening to music. what is that all about? why do i cry? because love has hurt me. it is pain that is released when i hear beautiful music, not joy. or is it joy? a bittersweet joy? i have so much love inside of me yet i get to share it with no one. i get to dote on no one. i get to kiss no one. i get to hug no one, well, or so few... i want to hold someone, i want to ravish someone, i want someone to look forward to seeing me... actually, these are not all truths. not right now. there is someone new in my life that hugs me. i haven't kissed her though. and she does look forward to seeing me. the thing though is that she cannot take me fully into her life right now. so again, i feel denied the fulfillment of these experiences. it hurts though being here in my room, my bed, still alone. is it the wanting that makes not having hurt? ...

Before I let any more time lapse, I must state that the free pass I was given to attend the Spindrift/Vietnam/Black Angels concert earlier this month was NOT the first time I was given a photographer's pass to a concert. The first time was last November when Robin Slick gave me free admission to the Adrian Belew Power Trio 's concert in Santa Cruz . Robin is who credit goes to for my entry this arena of being able to develop this latent skill of creatively photographing live music performances. She has been a great encourager to me in the development of both my writing and photography endeavors and I'm very grateful to her for also being a friend. Robin is who got me my involved with the LitPark crowd too. So today, I whole-heartedly give a big shout out and astral hug to purveyor of the arts, Robin Slick! She is a great writer by the way...! So, my photos are getting some exposure. The Mutants , who played at Dirk Fest on Friday night have put one of my photogr...