THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

 I've been having conversations with my former wife's younger brother recently, who is probably the most lucid communicator regarding all sorts of things that I'm interested in that I've been able to talk to in ages. Right off the bat, we are discussing film, music, and literature, topics I have NO ONE else in my life that has educated notions about at all to wander into deep thought-journeys with. Blame it on him being born and bred TRULY IRISH, for one thing... but we also have shared world experiences... the impact this woman, Aine, had upon our lives, and shared experiences we ventured into when I in fact lived in Ireland. Last night we talked about experiencing the deaths of our mothers... no one has ever opened up to discuss such intimacy with me before... (aside from Sir Thomas sharing the story of the recent passing of his beloved wife)... but with this Irish-brother-in-law, we have a foundation for a lot of deep explorative conversations that could turn on all ...

 I found God when I was 14 years old (1973). Or, God awoke my awareness of ITSELF when I was that age. I wasn't looking for God but somehow, I was ready to be awakened and flooded with God's love at that point in my life. Just 2 years after the death of my father, perhaps, this was God's way of interceding and protecting me before I could seriously get lost. Sadly, I still ended up getting seriously lost when I turned 18. 5 whole years of devotion to God, of being flooded with God's Grace, of developing visions of how I wanted to impact the world through becoming a missionary of God's love to the world, what a miraculous time that was. But it was shortlived.  When I turned 18 I went away to college and the shock of being out in the world on my own thrust the unresolved pain of the loss of my father back into my face. Despite all the associates I spent time with in high school, I was programmed to be a loner in this lifetime. (I'm still a loner to this very day.)...

 I felt so accomplished last night, I thought I was going to have a hard time sleeping due to all the excitement (and caffeine) but overall I slept really well. I woke up slowly, did my normal morning routine (watched Let's Make A Deal, AND The Price Is Right) ... then had my morning dose of kratom and performed a qi gong routine... (see why I value the wonderful life of not being controlled and scheduled by THE MAN? I have been dreaming a LOT over the past 2 weeks. Sometimes I remember specific events and imagery, other times I don't, but I always wake up KNOWING that I had been dreaming powerfully. This morning I woke up with one reticent visual of Fox Mulder giving me a powerful "bro-hug" after we accomplished some powerful ritual-like case together.  And then my mind wandered to upcoming events. Namely, Aine's memorial service this coming Sunday. More deeply I was pondering what details I could include in a "story" of my life together with her, and w...