THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

 Had a good day. Walked 5 more miles, which is turning into a good habit/routine. I get to listen to past episodes of Coast To Coast AM, something I can't get myself to do at home. Ended up at Costco again to have a cheap lunch, and it turned out I remembered something - I can get free food samples to eat there too, which can be slightly filling on it's own. What ended up happening surprised me though. I got talking to a couple of the ladies that serve the food samples, asking them questions about how much they enjoyed their jobs. These women are older than me, which says a lot about their character, but also about the job, that it's not all that difficult to do. I COULD DO WHAT THEY DO and not have to worry about injuring myself like I did at Whole Foods. They also only work the amount of hours that they want to work, which satisfies the other caveat that I have about not making too much money. When I left there I immediately recognized what was happening. God was testing ...

 Weird night/morning... started to recognize my pattern of having sleepless nights (didn't get to sleep until 5:30am yesterday). I know that this is a clear and definite sign of my entering a hypo-manic state of mind/life which will feel good and active and focused, but will end up in depression. So tonight I decided to stem the tide of having another night like last night and took a pill to get me to sleep. It worked, sort of ... I slept hard and deep from 10pm-ish until 3:30am... missed my midnight starting time for this daily journal, but that's fine because I'm here now doing this. I was having deep thoughts before I fell into sleep last night, about not taking life seriously enough and not working hard enough about doing all that I could be doing with my life... thinking that tomorrow (today) I'll start to work harder, that I'll start journaling again to get down into the nitty gritty crevices of where my dark secrets are buried, and where my secret powers are ...

 Well, today is when HCH has its only in-person Reiki Clinic in Lafayette. Since the lock-down back in 2020 they have only been doing Reiki clinic online via Zoom meetings. I have only ever participated in one solitary Zoom meeting. It seems that most of the world has gladly adapted to using this method as a replacement for classroom/clinic setting type activities, and it's really odd for me to be one who adapts new technology so readily that I cannot acquiesce and jump on the bandwagon with everyone else, but I just cannot do it in my current living situation. The one time I partook in a meeting I did it in someone else's home where I had relative privacy, but even there it just did not fully resonate with me. It felt "wrong". Like maybe there is something wrong-fitting with the human soul to take part in communication this way. And then on top of it for this topic, the topic of doing personal healings for strangers, the public, its so depersonalized. So yeah, I don...

Well, it's my traditional starting time for my 750 daily words, and I am here, a little bit later than usual. It's been a busy week for me full of more manual labor than I am accustomed to, and well, tonight I am very, very tired. As well as muscularly sore and achy. I don't want to waste words going into detail about the labor I was involved with, but I will say that thankfully the end of that job has come and I will be able to sleep in late tomorrow without fear of being awakened by my task-master brother, haha. The fatigue has spread to my mind though, and at the moment, I'm at a loss for a topic to expound upon tonight. I did have a nice walk in the neighborhood wild area this afternoon where I got to see some parts of the washed out creek that I've never seen before. That was stimulating. OH! And I saw a large, wild coyote running out of the wild-woods across a very busy thoroughfare heading northwards, towards a much larger open space. I hope that he escaped t...

 For how powerful my meditation experiences have been as of late, one would think that I'd want to do nothing other than spend my entire day meditating because the experiences I've been having are so strong. I keep telling Scarlett about this over, and over that things are happening inside my meditations that I've never experienced before and that my own mind is blown by the surprises I feel happening and being revealed to me. Yet here I sit now in front of this machine, jotting down notes that can in no way translate what it is I just felt while meditating just a few short moments ago. I sat in my meditation chair, not having any pre-formed intent about what I wanted to explore or deliver. No one has asked for healings as of late, but there are two elderly men that I know of that need healings, so I did, at the end of this experience deliver some of the energy that I acquired to them. But those "healings" were not even close to the work I do when I have the inten...

 Continuing with some new ideas to explore... Every once in a while I'm reminded of fascinations I had about certain types of activities when I was a teenager. For instance, in my teen years I used to be fascinated by the ocean and ocean sports. Sailing, surfing, scuba diving used to seem like incredible, joyous activities to me, but I did not then, nor ever in my lifetime (except for surfing) ever take steps to learn how to do those water sports. Another activity that fascinated me as a teenager was downhill skiing. I used to obsessively watch any movies or TV broadcasts (like the Olympics) that showed people skiing. Same thing though, I've NEVER become a downhill skier. Along the theme of the ocean, I had a fascination with life in the South Pacific - Tahiti in particular. And one oddball location I became obsessed with was Japan. It was the martial arts there that triggered this location for me, but I went on to expand my interest into the spiritual and religious facets of J...

Something has powerfully shifted today, even in just the last few minutes I've felt this shift go deeper inside, gears in my inner workings are engaging and beginning to budge after seemingly having felt like they were seized up with decades old rust. I wrestled with frustration this morning over how my friend Eric and I have been unsuccessful at even getting close to having matching numbers in our manifestation game to win the California Super Lotto game together (of which if either of us wins, we will split the total with the other). My frustration was based in my belief and conviction that we CAN do something like this. It's how the universe operates! But I feel like something has shifted since I made that frustrated outburst, something deep inside myself, at least has broken free of it's restraints and perhaps now we are moving closer, and deeper into understanding and cooperation with the Vortex/Matrix where we can, "do as thou wilt"... I think the large chal...

 Today was unique. More unique than usually unique? I didn't know that the things that were going to transpire today were going to transpire. Lordy, how silly is this to say. No day is ever exactly as one might imagine it'll unfold. Some days you have plans and everything falls into place as planned. But even if you could foresee with psychic acuity what was going to happen in a day, your chances of having absolute 1000 percent accuracy, well that just does not happen. Not in my experience or knowledge. And as it usually goes, the way my life is now I wake up having no plans. Any day could go a thousand different directions with many possible sidetracks along the way. Though the ways that my days unfold are pretty stable in the varieties of the way my interests and behaviors give chance to. When I woke up today, well rested and close to having memorable dreams I looked out my window and saw that my brother was working in the garden outside. I remember him saying that he would b...

 Working on developing deeper understanding and resonance with this "soul signature" philosophy, I really tried to keep this idea at the forefront of my attention today. I do feel like some progressive journaling about this topic, to help me scan my history, especially what the things were that I enjoyed the most when I was a young boy so that I can better structure my days around such activities. When I say "journaling" I mean sitting (in my cafe) with paper and pen to hand write my ideas and thoughts. It works a little bit here, on screen but on paper turns on some different capacitors that tap into deeper recesses of the mind, and there's something innocent and memory linked to youth that happens when you hand write on paper. So maybe that's what I'll try to do tomorrow. I could also do this at the library, but there's something sexier and more cinematic about doing it in a cafe. Today I tapped into some boyhood adventurism when I was out for a wa...

 Today was a full, active day and I'm thoroughly exhausted tonight. I've been having many, many days recently where I'm completely exhausted and ready to sleep at a very early hour for myself. I've been walking 3-5 miles a day, nearly every day since the beginning of December, which I enjoy very much. I've cut back on the amount of "others" that I listen to speaking on the internet. I used to fill my days with listening to teachers and authorities of spiritual matters, but I finally got to a point where I weaned myself off of depending on any of them for spiritual enlightenment or insights. And now I just listen to my own silence and presence. I am not full of questions and wonderings anymore. I just accept that what I see and feel, this is enough to know to be able to experience God. Endless explanations and ongoing diatribes aren't required to be able to know what God knows, or what God feels like. It's kind of nice for a change. And maybe it...

 The astrologer I listened to yesterday said one thing in particular that stuck in my mind, and that is about finding your "soul signature", finding out what it is that you were born to do. What it is that your soul agreed to work towards achieving in this lifetime, before you were born. THIS, to me right now, is the most tantamount sense of "mission and purpose" that I can think of in regards to figuring out what it is I'm supposed to be doing. I think this is something we can determine through meditation and journaling, as well as research and study of metaphysical writings and spiritual practices. And this is what I've been whittling away at all my life long. It's just that there are times when I'm more focused and on track than I am at other times. Overall the span of the years I've been alive, this has been the awareness of God's hand upon me that has been hovering around me like an external aura, like the shadow of angels emanating from...

 Well, today is 5 years since my mother died. Or so it's believed. Somehow I have records showing that she died on the 19th of January. Both my family tree record, and her gravestone shows it to be the 19th. But bro insists its the 18th. Which means I somehow screwed things up, as usual, and had the cemetery put the wrong date on her stone. I do remember it being a Friday night when she died in 2018. Okay, I just looked at a calendar and rolled the dates back to January of 2018. The Friday night that week was the 19th. So maybe it wasn't Friday night she died. Maybe it was Thursday? But I think my bro has always been telling me on Fridays that it's been such and such many weeks since she died... I guess the evidence leans more towards him being wrong here... he has possession of her death certificate. So that would be the hard proof. Here's the end of this though, I don't want to be in a discussion/debate/argument about this at all with him. Or a debate about anythi...

 Didn't have as much focused energy today as I had yesterday. Slept late, and deeply, had dream activity before waking that was on the verge of being memorable, but still not quite there yet. Using nothing at all for sleep assistance (meds/tea/melatonin) other than kratom, which mainly helps me relax, drowsiness is not achieved from it, but I think the deeper states of relaxation are what help me feel as rested and restored as I become (even though I had trouble motivating to get up today - sunshine coming in windows after weeks of dreary grey skies shocked me). So two things occurred in my life activity today, that are of note. One is an experience of receiving multiple notifications on my phone telling me that tomorrow (now, today) is my great grandmother Nancy Wright's birthday. What struck me as unusual about this is that I normally only get one notification from my calendar apps. I got the same message 5 or more times today. So I finally settled into that occurrence and de...

 I'm experiencing a wonderful, new challenge from the Godz Above and Internal right now. I'm running out of money, don't have a job, but my faith is filling up more and more that I am a living miracle and will be blessed beyond any recognition of my own imaginations capabilities if I can just stay in the present moment, confirming that NOW is all there is and that NOW is complete and perfect. It seems like I've been learning this lesson all my life up till this RIGHT NOW, but I'm more full of understanding of the power of this sort of mental and spiritual reality believing than I've ever been before. This method of living in the present moment reveals so many secrets about how the world operates. Old belief patterns that limited our/my abilities to do the wild imaginary desires of my dreams dissolves as I just be completely here and present with all of my awareness. No more regretting the past, no more wishing things were different/better in the future. Just bei...

 Here's an odd thought progression... that everyone we ever meet in our lifetimes are a part or a component of our complete selves. That no matter how much or little time we spend in the presence of another person, they have appeared in our lives because there is some element of our being-ness that they construct. So, when I met "Rachel", there was an aspect of my-self that was incomplete and her appearance was something I called from the universe to fill in that empty space of my awareness, or being-ness. There are so many rules of construct that could be imagined about how such a universally powerful system of organization could work, that all through out our lifetimes, as our consciousness develops and advances we either need external representations of what we are missing, or not fulfilling for ourselves. Because our states of consciousness are continually in flux our needs for different people (or pets/jobs/material possessions/etc) change. And maybe as we get into m...

 So I did something a bit unusually different the other day. I did a meditative trance healing for a former version of myself. I have this understanding that I do not (we, none of us do) live in just this one seemingly present reality. This reality that I see myself living in is like the dream that I am awake in while I'm sleeping.  It's only one facet of the complex nature of my immortal soul. When I, this body in this reality am sleeping, and then enter into dream activities, perhaps those other versions of "me" that I see are just as real as this one here seems to be. I live just as hard and with as much focus in those dream-me realities as I do in this one. Its just that this one is what has captured the majority of my conscious awareness. In this healing I performed I wanted to forgive versions of myself that were injured emotionally in their alternate dimensions, because after all, they are part of what make up my current reality. I wanted to heal the broken art...

 This is the 5th day in a row of writing on 750words.com and I feel like I'm getting into a groove where my writing is becoming more fluid, and I also hope, it's more interesting to the couple of readers that I have on my blog, where I am sharing these jottings. Earlier today some thoughts occurred to me that I want to explore here now. I was taking into consideration the type of women that I have become close to in my life. I wasn't looking at this from the perspective of what type of women I am attracted to, but seeing in retrospect which types were actually successful in winning my trust. They seem to be of a classification that in appearances to me are of a regal type nature. I'll use the most obvious woman that I've had a relationship with as an example first. I was in a relationship with a woman of rather high British societal standing. She was the daughter of an acclaimed British academician (a leader in the field of Anthropology) and who was a professor emer...

 Midnight came, and 40 minutes of it passed before I gave up the fight in my mind about what to write about here tonight. Since I had no new ideas rising I was debating waiting till morning to see if I had any dreams occur that I could describe. Some of my most enjoyable writing in the past is when I have dreams that I can remember after waking that I felt like documenting. One of the very first pieces of creative writing I did when I was a sophomore in high school was one of these "endeavors"... to not do more than just write down descriptions of what it was that I saw, felt, and experienced in my dreams one particular night. My creative writing teacher thought it showed signs of promise for me to have a future as a writer, and it was probably the tantamount event of anything I did in all the years I was in high school trying to garner academic acclaim. I remember that the next time I tried to write something as prosaic as that first "story", it fell flat. Trying t...

 Today was one of the most spectacular days I've experienced in some time. I didn't get to sleep until nearly 5am and woke at around 11am. Had no thoughts of plans for the day other than to stay home and enjoy watching the constant state of drizzling rain that was misting up the gardens outside. The events that began to unfold before me felt like gifts from the Gods affirming that I am living inside of a well designed and well fitting groove of my own making. Basically, I spent the day in meditation and trances where I sent out healings to friends and loved ones regarding issues that they are experiencing in their lives. THIS is what I feel is the grand purpose of my life at this time in my evolution. Healing others heals myself. And meditating on God heals the world. I am so grateful for this condition of freedom that I have manifested for myself to be able to have time that I can spend doing these things. I gave healings for people and things that I had no foreknowledge would...

Day Two of writing 750 words a day, here we go... Many things happened today. I stuck to my inspiration to bake an Irish soda bread this morning, in honor of the woman from Ireland that I married. I bailed on baking a traditional recipe, mixing the dough by hand and used my bread machine instead. The bread machine recipes always suggest baking with active yeast, even for a traditional recipe that does not require yeast, so the end result is more like a sliceable bread than like a more cake-like bread a traditional Irish soda bread turns out to be. The taste was there, and I did buy a big jar of orange marmalade, fixed a pot of Darjeeling tea and listened to The Chieftains. It was a moment of introspection spent alone with my memories, and with my imaginations. While being consumed with all these thoughts of "her", I combined her into thoughts I developed while listening to Coast To Coast AM the evening before. The guest speaker was someone that became a psychic medium. She wa...

 Okay... I found in my Dashlane account that I had a password to this site, 750words.com, which means that I joined up at some point in the long ago past, but I have no idea when that was, or if I ever even tried to use the site. But recently I've been thinking about starting to write again, but just don't have any focus, or inspiration or goals, and have only been scribbling in my blog rather randomly... this idea of having an impetus to write daily, 750 words or more, well, I think that is a good enough kick in my pants to help me get my own juices flowing again. So there, I've written 115 words already, even though I don't know if this will be saved where I can export it to my blog for my closest friends to see, or not, or what... hmmm, so what's been on my mind today... the past couple of days I've been thinking about the death of the woman that I married when I was a young man. Her birthday is this week, and her death-day is only about a month later... so I...

 Slept pretty well this morning; fell asleep around 3am, woke up at 11am, dream activity but no recall. Woke up a little bit before I got all the sleep I needed and felt a bit groggy, despite taking no meds for sleep. Phone alerted me that I was supposed to start DoorDashing at 11:30, and immediate reaction was remembering the intent I tapped into yesterday, that I should NOT be doordashing. I need to bore more deeply into being patient while my next pet sitting assignment materializes. So that's what I'm doing more consciously today, when I sit for my "energy run" meditations, one of my tasks is to send more gratitude filled energy to the target point of the "arrangement for employment" in my not too far off distance reality. I'm also concerned for my friend Brittney because she's probably going to do something today that she knows she should not do, and so I'm already calling in an army of protection to surround and protect her. Pictures of see...

 Watched THE BANSHEES OF INISHFREE last night and have had my emotions stirred up in so many ways by this film. First pain I felt was of not being able to watch this movie with the person responsible for my having any interest in Ireland at all, Aine, who passed away nearly one year ago. I feel that this new film dethrones THE FIELD as the penultimate film drama that depicts the hard life that men live in the remote regions of Ireland. This film is a powder-keg of drama, as well as spectacular film making that is sure to stir deep residual unprocessed emotions in many members of the soul collective here on earth. It's pushed itself deep into my heart tho and I'm not yet aware of all that it's identifying inside myself. This film will take years for me to solve.  Something else this makes me reflect upon is the troubled friendship I have with an old high school buddy that I had a falling out with over the last year. He and I started sending texts back and forth after the New...