THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

This is the performance on the Leno show that I referred to earlier. These backup singers are jive!

ookay, i haven't written to you in awhile so i know you are dying to know what is going on with me. i've been laying low... :) it's two weeks+ now since i've been to the college so a lot of the angst i had been feeling since i last posted has died down. the heartbreak is over, but i am sorely missing the socialization that i got so much joy from. i have slid right back into my very normal mode/condition of just hanging out with myself. at first this scared me and added to the angst i was feeling over the whole heartbreak/failure scenario but now it just feels like my normal old life that i can't do all that much to change until the stars and fates and muses are in my favor again. right? my energy (physical/psychic) has really been messed up lately and i'm not entirely sure why, other than blaming it on the fact that i AM depressed. for the past 10 days i've been staying up until 4 or 5 am and sleeping till around noon, although today i didn't wake...

This was filmed by CNN on the White House lawn!!

I WANNA BE IGGY POP!

I'm trying to find the video of Amy's performance on the Jay Leno show from the other night. This woman is just absolutely out of this world!!

This lovely creature makes me think that Iceland has to be the most magical place on earth to live.

taken in doctor's office yesterday. i've been having numbness in my left hand and arm recently. I need to make some sort of record of this before it totally slips away from my memory. There was a period of about two weeks while I was interacting with M~ that I had those unfamiliar(to me at least) yet always welcome feelings of "falling in love". I don't know so much that it was specifically M~ that I was falling in love with or simply the idea that I was on the verge of allowing a "girl friend" to enter into my life. This was in March and there were early signs of spring occurring in nature so maybe that added to it. I like the feelings of falling in love. They make me feel young and hopeful and childlike. I wanted to play and tell stories and cook and go for long walks. And I wanted to become better; looking, smelling, and tasting. And I wanted to become an anticipation, if you will. Someone that was wanted and whose presence was looked forward t...

The firestorm is starting to blow over a bit. I’m feeling a bit calmer about the future. I made an appointment to see my counselor at the college today. I explained to her before about my problems with bipolar and potential difficulties it’s had on my studies. She said not to worry, that academic probation would not be a real threat. At least this way I can look forward to taking some classes again in the fall semester. I’ll pick up the library tech program classes again, one or two of those classes at a time but I’ll also do something creative for a balance. As for the summer, maybe I’ll go back and volunteer at the library again. I’m in Walnut Creek right now, at my old haunting ground - Pacific Bay Coffee Company. I haven’t been here in over a year and I was recognized by the head barista right away. I used to spend a lot of time here. Easily 3-4 hours a day on the Internet and writing. It is a great place - a real coffee shop where they do their own roasting and everyth...

the time has come to write this post. all of my pre-contemplative ideas of how to speak beguilinigly, to offer an illusion that i have been in control of my life are exhausted. so now i will write pretty much straight from the gut. i don't know how to say that i screwed up without saying that I AM screwed up. i mean, in some ways i can seperate my self from my situation(s) but the majority of the time the weight and presence of this physical being and it's dense mind coerce me to believe in a "smaller self". in some ways i'm glad i screwed up at school, this time, again, this way... it's familiar yet it was new. i always seem to make some sort of impression when i come out of my shell and become able to participate with other people in studies. people seem to think i'm a likable character but no one ever really seems to like me. the people over the years that i still keep in touch with would forget about me if it weren't for me keeping in touc...

"I love life. But I don't love life because it is pretty. Prettiness is only clothes-deep. I am a truer lover than that. I love it naked. There is beauty to me even in its ugliness. In fact, I deny the ugliness entirely, for it's vices are often nobler than its virtues, and nearly always closer to a revelation... "To me, the tragic alone has that significant beauty which is truth. It is the meaning of life - and the hope. The noblest is eternally the most tragic. The people who succeed and do not push on to a greater failure are the spiritual middle-classers. Their stopping at success is the proof of their compromising insignificance. How petty their dreams must have been!" ~Eugene O'Neill (These words cheer me on so strongly in the face of the difficulties I'm facing right now. Thank you Mr. O'Neill for finding the voice to utter these truths.)

Cemetery Man Originally uploaded by daryldarko . I drove out to Martinez last night to take a few self portraits before the mood of this strong and deep depression and it's inspiration left me. This was the best shot that I came up with. Strange but lately my viewership on Flickr has really dropped off. The trend I see is that female photographers have much stronger followings than male photographers do. Women love women photographers and men especially love women photographers. Taking photographs in this cemetery is always a tenuous experience because to do so one clearly has to trespass. The cemetery is locked and there is no shortage of "Keep Out / No Trespassing" signs. Gaining admittance is pretty simple though as there is a hole in the fence not 10 feet from the road. From most positions inside the grounds you can stay out of site from the street outside. Still, I can't help but have a feeling of dread. A good feeling to have in a cemetery actu...

This scary Rasputin-ey looking guy on MySpace wants to be my friend. I never automatically add anyone to MySpace anymore, so as usual I looked at his site first. Good thing! Read on! clipped from profile.myspace.com 12 Apr 2007 12:25 OBITUARY Our dear Father and protector, the poet known as Pretty Deep Like Pudding, has expired. He was found under the drawbridge at the Kastle in Sofia Bulgaria, his mouth stuffed with a substance the locals call Skyflakes. In his hand was a wrench and his veins were liquefied by a substance that the gardener called Purple Jesus. The Kastle where his body was found is rumoured to be the headquarters of an international gang led by Mustafio, his uncle and a number of henchmen and women. Pudding has been on their trail for some time. It is rumoured that Pudding was about to discover the true secret of chilli and Musta...

Vonnegut was one of the primary inspirations I found as a young writer. I feel bad that I did not read every single one of his works throughout his career. I doubt that I have any original copies of his works left; the types of books I would always give away insisting that they would change the readers life. Well, now we can drink a toast to him and receive his blessing, en masse, from beyond. Be brave old man! clipped from news.bbc.co.uk Obituary: Kurt Vonnegut Kurt Vonnegut wrote with irony and compassion Influential author Kurt Vonnegut has died at the age of 84 after suffering brain injuries in a fall in New York. During a career lasting more than 50 years, Kurt Vonnegut wrote the classic anti-war novel, Slaughterhouse Five, detailing his experiences of the Allied bombing of Dresden in 1945. Vonnegut had enlisted in the armed services a year after Japan's attack on Pearl Harbor. Captured by German troops in December 1944 during the Battle...

Cemetery Man Originally uploaded by daryldarko . I drove out to Martinez last night to take a few self portraits before the mood of this strong and deep depression and it's inspiration left me. This was the best shot that I came up with. Strange but lately my viewership on Flickr has really dropped off. The trend I see is that female photographers have much stronger followings than male photographers do. Women love women photographers and men especially love women photographers. Taking photographs in this cemetery is always a tenuous experience because to do so one clearly has to trespass. The cemetery is locked and there is no shortage of "Keep Out / No Trespassing" signs. Gaining admittance is pretty simple though as there is a hole in the fence not 10 feet from the road. From most positions inside the grounds you can stay out of site from the street outside. Still, I can't help but have a feeling of dread. A good feeling to have in a cemetery actu...

I can't remember exactly when I originally wrote and posted this (maybe about a month ago). It was in response to someone's desire "to become invisible" as listed at the 43 Things website. I knew they were talking about "superhero invisibility" but I wrote about the kind of "invisibility" that I had actually experienced. Good thing I shared about it too. Read on...!~ Hello DarylDarko, Kindrix replied to your post in which you said: > > I've been invisible for too long... > > > > when you become invisible from people, from society, whether it is > > intentional or not - it is very hard to come back into sight. i faded > > out of sight from old friends and even the people in the streets > > around where i live for many years. when i was ready to come back i > > had to fight to gain their attention. the depressive energy that sends > > people into hiding is heavy and gravitational; it is excess ...

I don't really enjoy this style of music but the quality of the artistic style of this video is hard to deny. Plus, the dancing is obviously of the "Michael Jackson School of Movement". His influence on popular music is undeniable.

Props to people that take all forms of art steps further beyond what the popular norm is. This one though, just looks like it would give you a constant sense that your skin was rotting away! clipped from www.tattooblog.org Tattoo of the Day by Anil Gupta One can say it is a post-modern interpretation of physicality. Is it revealing tattoo artist’s or the tattoo wearer’s inner self? The tattoo tears apart the skin and shows the hidden words like ‘bacon,’ ‘absurd,’ ‘hilar*,’ ‘intrinsic,’ ‘hyperarticulat*,’ ‘subtle,’ ‘metroplis*,’ ‘dynamic,’ ‘cumbersc*,’ ‘turbin*,’ ‘bowling,’ ... and the list of these words is very long. Even you try to guess few of them and list them below. Above words, torn skin is roughly stitched with thread. Tattoos are pieces of art but some pieces let you think like this one by Anil Gupta at Inkline Studio New York.  

this is the last posting i will send automatic email notice alerts to. unless you respond to this notification and specify that you want to continue to receive posting alerts i will remove your email address from the mailing list. there are a couple of you i already know need to receive the notifications and i will leave your names on the list ( Jeff M. & Robin S.). my reasoning is that if you only read my postings from the emails you do not see what is happening on the actual blog page. photos, videos, music - other changes. ok? now on to what is important. life is always new, isn't it? i ran into a very new experience of so-called-life last night, yet it had an old taste to me as well. i'm so exhausted emotionally and physically i can hardly even bring myself to describe it to you. god, my mind is just jumping from "beginning of sentence" to a different "beginning of sentence" to start to tell you the story but i can't decide what to tell you first...

This life has been one in which i am allowed tastes and dreams of pleasures of love but have been predominately denied dining on full meals. the potential of another experience of intimacy with a beautiful soul has been yet again stolen away from me. really, i am not a bad person. i would testify that before god on my day of judgment - yet there must be myriad minuscule weak thoughts and ill decisions that build up within my persona that makes me rub people the wrong way. Today, in one fell swoop i've stepped (or fallen) outside of the lives of about two dozen people who i have nothing against, who i actually really liked very much and enjoyed the presence of greatly. but external scrutiny has weakened my self opinion and i no longer have the strength of character to try to fit in or be liked. My display of magnanimous characteristics was mania fueled, and now that fuel has burned itself out. my normal man, my power being, my depressive and isolating twin-self needs to take co...

I'm not geek enough to qualify for any of this kinda luvin' but props to all those who are! Read the rest of the article here: http://www.wired.com/culture/lifestyle/commentary/sexdrive/2007/04/sexdrive_0406 clipped from www.wired.com - - - The 10 Real Reasons Why Geeks Make Better Lovers Editor's note: Some links in this story lead to adult material and are not suitable for viewing at work. All links of this nature will be noted with "NSFW" after them. 04.06.07 | 2:00 AM I've read recently that geeks make better lovers because they are so unaccustomed to romance that they will do anything for their mates. Also because geeks don't have the social skills to cheat (wanna bet?). Yeah, ha ha, let's chuckle at the stereotypes. Might as well add that geeks won't waste valuable relationship time watching football. Or that geeks are clueless and fashion-impaired and have the social skills of a bowl of fruit. But you know what? Humorous Top-10 lists as...

Regarding Bipolar Disorder: Lili has a family history of bipolar disorder (manic-depression) through her father. She received a diagnoses of bipolar disorder herself as a teen during her high-school years. In an article entitled “Lili in Bloom,“ Gini Sikes of the Washington Post writes, “Taylor herself became so depressed in high school that for a time she simply stopped going. She also developed an eating disorder, now past. ... ‘In high school I thought I was much fatter than I actually was. I figured if no one could see my emotional pain, maybe they'd see my bones sticking out and recognize I'm distraught’.” However, Lili believes she was misdiagnosed and does not take medications. The therapist Lila saw during her teens “suspected Taylor's symptoms might disappear once she found an outlet for her creative energies -- which is exactly what happened, Taylor says” (NPR, 2004). In a question and answer session after a performance of "Dead Eye Boy" in New York on...

It is sad that what people argue about are meaningless aesthetics when battles in higher places are going on. Everyone that possibly can should drive by "Cross Hill" in Lafayette, shoot some photographs and post them to the Internet. Spread the madness! clipped from www.cryptic.tv  

joined at the hip... OR ...weird fraternal siamese twins Originally uploaded by daryldarko .

torn curtain - a diptych Originally uploaded by daryldarko . i'm not ready to let go of her yet... made this special photo tonight from the one very special afternoon that we spent together. I hope she sees this.

i hoped to finish today's accomplishments by yesterday - so it took longer, at least i did it. i wanted to update the looks of my MySpace page and the looks of this blog. overall i'm pretty content, although i've seen some blogger blogs that have incorporated a third column where they put more widgets and links, etc. couldn't figure out how to do this tonight. got close, but oh well. more importantly i've been contemplating deeper things. but first let me tell you that a very special thing happened today that made me feel so good. my classmate Brenna phoned me and asked how i was doing. she is just the sweetest person. and then she invited me over for dinner at her home. i'll get to meet her little boy Elliot and have dinner with B's girlfriend Elizabeth too. dinner with friends is a rare thing for me. the only other people i ever have dinner with are Kim and Steve and i can barely remember the last time i saw them. it was last year, i know that. and well, ...

clipped from www.bibi.org April Fool's Manual 2007 - From the Museum of Hoaxes : Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes Of All Time . The number one is The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest , about the episode of the BBC TV programme Panorama which explained how Spaghetti grows . Enjoy and read also The Origin of April Fool's Day and Top 10 Worst April Fool's Day Hoaxes Ever . - The YouTube addicts can enjoy the selection at Esquire.com with April Fools! videos: The five best pranks ever filmed and posted to YouTube , selected by Daniel Murphy. - Wired made a nice article with tips to fool your fellows: April Fool's Pranks For Nerds . The classic screen saver of the blue screen of death is one of their suggestions. And just to be sure that you won't be fooled, read the Slate article The April Fools' Day defense kit by Jack Shafer. It has few, but interesting tips about April Fool's day techniques used by the media.  

something bewitching AND addictive about this music video. what do YOU think? THUMBS UP or THUMBS DOWN