THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

i don't get it for a long time when someone is interested in me. it doesn't happen often enough for me to understand the mechanics of how someone shows "signs" of being interested in me. after i finally got it and i started to spend time around her it became more clear, what her signs were. it had been going on for weeks though, and i just didn't know. once it became clear i became over enthusiastic. i think that is what must have been the reason for the breakdown that we suffered. she freaked out though, which i don't really understand. it was ugly and even now trying to recall just enough of it all to make a story to tell you makes waves of awfulness wash over my heart. it was a bad enough breakdown of a friendship that could have been a relationship that makes me even more frightful of trusting the path of romance ever again. but she, Miss M, was the first genuine 18 year old i became involved with. ever. i thought she was probably 22 and was surprised to l...

I don't know why I feel it is important to keep rehashing this one topic; the facts of my being a single man - the reality, the hardship, the contentment... Last night I pondered this matter once again, while I sat in the hot tub at my health club, alone. I decided to scan my memory to determine exactly how many different times I have actually had sexual contact with other people. I came up with three different people; my first girl friend when I was around 19 years old, touching genitals was involved. The woman I was married to. Enough contact was experienced on at least one occasion to cause the birth of a child. She and I never "made out", even once, (by that I mean we never kissed passionately nor was I allowed to touch her breasts or anything else) and I don't recall ever being allowed to see her naked body. After I broke up with her an older woman (no more than 4 or 5 years older than me) took me into her bedroom out of pity after hearing my story of desperation...