THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

not too much else happening these days. been in a lot of physical discomfort - muscular tension, legs are still cramping up often - trying to make myself go to the health club tonight to sit in the spa. i feel a disparate sense of disconnectedness from society and people right now. my mother and brother are leaving for 6 days. last time that happened my brother came back after one day and i was really upset at not getting to have my time to myself. i'm happy now that they are leaving again, but there is always a remote thought in the back of my head; what if they never come back... oh god, and i heard new information today during a conversation my mother had with her best friend over lunch that blew me away. forever i have been thinking that my father died when he was 36 years old. well today she says that he was 38 when he died. i had never heard that before. all these years i've been telling people otherwise. so all the emotion i had when i turned 37, thinking that ...

well, i've mentioned it to some of you in person and i think i mentioned it here or on the other blog that i was being interviewed for a paying position at the library. that was Wednesday last week. they left a message for me on Friday saying that they wanted to talk to me. not to boast, but i felt pretty sure that this was a slam dunk, that the job would be mine. i already do the needed tasks on a volunteer basis (just less hours than they want a hired person to do them). i am enrolled in classes at the JC to become a library technician and i have past experience working in libraries. i phoned back on Sunday, the day the supervisor that interviewed me said she would next be at work. she told me that i did not get the job. i have a lot of mixed feelings about this, and a lot of troubling thoughts going through my head too. regardless, i showed up for my volunteer shift today and did my responsibilities spot on. the reason she told me that she was not "able" to hir...

got a call from my son in Ireland this afternoon. oh, how he misses celebrating turkey-day here! i don't think he is lonely, but i think he misses the family and our traditions. so that was a really great thing to hear his voice, but more importantly he reminded me (and i'm kicking myself for not remembering this myself) that today, the 24th of November, he is 4 years clean and sober! of all things in my life i am most thankful for that. that he is alive, healthy, safe and sane. he has a girlfriend, a community of friends that love him and lives somewhere that makes him happy. he is terrifically successful in business too. profits at the cafe/bookstore he manages have risen 33% since he took over 3 months ago. also, i got a call from the library today. they left a message actually. i'm pretty sure that they are offering me the position that i interviewed for on Wednesday. it's going to be a good new year for me i think. tonight i am going out to listen to pun...

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I photographed two concerts this week. Tuesday night was The Damned show at Slim's and last night was a death metal show at a small bar on 17th Street somewhere in San Francisco. This was a great crowd, as you can see!

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Dearest Adrian, You must have looked at me the other night thinking, "Who is this guy. Doesn't he know who I am?" I am sorry if it seems that I blew you off when I shook your hand and then walked away. I got washed away in my own "self" that night and forgot that I was in the presence of someone extremely special to me. Someone that has done something that has stuck with me for more than half of my lifetime. You are Adrian Belew and not only do I love all of the music you have made, I love what you are and where you have come from. I love the people you know and what they have done and become. If people ask me to name writers that have influenced my life I'll give different answers from year to year. When asked what music I love, what music has changed my life, what music makes me feel alive, for 30 years straight I have said KING CRIMSON. And you Mr. Belew are the very first representative of KC that I have ever had the holy honor of being so close ...

I'm not sure how to start to delve into the story of what happened to me last night. Through my life becoming less private (through the simple act of blogging) my world has become larger. I was invited as a guest to photograph a concert last night! Bleeding hell! You all saw the shitty snapshots I posted from the show at Slim's (which the allowance of my attending that show is attributed to the graciousness of Leah and the management at Slim's. Honest to god they have given me free tickets to 5 different shows there!). And one lonely mother sitting at home the next morning was searching the internet for pictures of her dear children that performed the night before. One soul found another... I wasn't nervous in the least strangely enough. An hour before the doors opened I saw Julie Slick looking in the window of a music store next to The Catalyst. "Are you Julie?" I inquired. "Yeah." she said. -=Well, I've been talking to your mother on...

many of you may remember me webcasting from Cafe Pergolesi before. didn't have time tonight, just dropped in for a lovely soy chai. oh, the atmosphere though. writers, artists, musicians, students, and even young parents with their kids, oh and bikers too! all sitting around studying and chatting. and the chai did NOT give me the red face! it's a lamp above the entrance, silly!

even if just for a few hours. this was around 5:15pm and there were people in the parking lot putting ON their wetsuits to get in the water to surf. (what i mean by that is they were the "after work" surfers.) it was nippy yesterday too!

I just got an email from Robin Slick. I've been added to the guest list as a photographer for tonight's show.

oh how pretentious, but compared to the usual uninspirational life i live, tonight should be great! since i posted those pics of Adrian and The Power Trio from Thursday night's show i have met two fantastic people that have given me great encouragement; Robin Slick and Burton Lo. Robin is the mother of Eric and Julie slick, Adrian Belew's accompanists on his current tour - two young musical prodigies. And Burton is a fantastic neo-photographer that attended two of Adrian's shows in southern California and took the most amazing amateur concert photos i think i've ever seen. soo, i am on my way to Santa Cruz this afternoon, with my FujiFilm FinePix S5200 in tow to take my chance at improving my own photographic skills. oh and hey, i'm really only going there for one reason and that is to hear the fantastic healing musical vibes that Adrian and this cute, cute couple generate from their hearts. i do not feel inspired to take photographs of just any ol'musicians...

last night fortune smiled upon me again and i won tickets to a show at Slim's in San Francisco. it was a show i would have been happy to purchase a ticket to attend, but finances and the fact that i should have been in class last night urged my better sense to not indulge. thank you fates for changing the course of my life, yet again. seeing Adrian perform last night was a phenomenal experience. there was one person between me and him i was that close to the stage. oh, and i am done using my phone cam to document concerts that i attend when i could very well have been using my "real camera" - so i apologize for this soft focus/artsy shots. watching him, hearing him - the King Crimson influences and collaborations that he need not be embarrassed of owning rights to play; he is one ecstatically happy man that emotes through a machine, a guitar, and well - i was electrified, the crowd was electrified, probably the most on-fire audience i've been part of at a show at ...

this was a local newscaster in Danville reporting on the teenage boy that murdered his mother earlier this week.

Try it yourself! http://www-old.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk/~morph/Transformer/index.html