THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

 Thirteen days since I last found the time and space to sit here and talk to you.... whyyyyyy??? I'm so dependent on routine. This is my simplest excuse. I thrive on groove. By that I mean, that by repeating a practice, I create a groove that builds up and maintains energy. By going to the same cafe (every day) at the same time and having the same drink (not necessarily needing to sit at the same table, thank goodness) I build up an energy of presence that supports my ability to feel good, and motivated to continue doing what I do. For me, this is writing... for others with similar mind constructs it could be myriad other types of practices... so I am sure that I'm not alone suffering from this proclivity. And it takes me so much time and effort to create this type of supportive groove for myself. It always has... even when I was younger so I don't think it's a factor of age. There is a lack of flexibility that I'm suffering from and an inability to adapt to changes...

 I've been having conversations with my former wife's younger brother recently, who is probably the most lucid communicator regarding all sorts of things that I'm interested in that I've been able to talk to in ages. Right off the bat, we are discussing film, music, and literature, topics I have NO ONE else in my life that has educated notions about at all to wander into deep thought-journeys with. Blame it on him being born and bred TRULY IRISH, for one thing... but we also have shared world experiences... the impact this woman, Aine, had upon our lives, and shared experiences we ventured into when I in fact lived in Ireland. Last night we talked about experiencing the deaths of our mothers... no one has ever opened up to discuss such intimacy with me before... (aside from Sir Thomas sharing the story of the recent passing of his beloved wife)... but with this Irish-brother-in-law, we have a foundation for a lot of deep explorative conversations that could turn on all ...