THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

 After listening to some explanations of some of the spiritual developments we may be in store to experience as a result of today's partial lunar eclipse, some of which expounded upon the ability to experience romantic relationships that might be lifetimes old, I had a dream this morning in which I feel that the spirit of my first romantic interest in this lifetime appeared. The girl that I met in the dream called herself "Katie", but I now sense that it was my first semi-romantic-soul-sister, Michelle, from sophomore year in high school that was visiting me. In the dream, we met in a food establishment in a place that look-felt like Marin County, but it was on a flipped map... the Marin County in my dream was on the opposite side of the map from where it should be. I didn't fully recognize who she was in the dream, but she did at least feel familiar to me. Within the first 5 minutes of our conversation, something came up that made me feel like I needed to leave the s...

 I want to expand this self-analysis a little bit further and explore some of the features of one of the other "moon trines" that are in my birth chart. Moon Trine Mars Moon trine Mars natal  is an indicator of a successful life. It makes you daring, charismatic, sexy, and most appealing to the senses. You can draw a crowd, as the Moon represents the public, and Mars represents attraction. You can give off a special kind of attractive and entertaining energy. You should have a great need to express your feelings without holding back. You express both sad and happy feelings generally without restraint. Other people appreciate and respect your openness and honesty. You will fight for your family and your beliefs. You become so emotionally attached to the things you are passionate about that defending them is like defending yourself. At the intimate level, you are attractive, charismatic, and charming. You are a passionate lover with the sexual magnetism to have your strong need...

 Learning astrology, for me, has been a long and tedious process. I've been interested in it since I was in my late teens and I've made attempts over the years to better understand it, but it's like taking a cup of water out of the ocean and trying to analyze it... you see a lot of interesting things in that little cup but the vastness of the ocean lures you in to want to learn more... and the vastness of astrology and all that you can learn from it IS vast like the universe it is based on interpreting. How there are some/many people in the world that have a working understanding of astrology blows my mind. That they have learned enough to become confident enough to talk at length about it's mysteries, well, it's just mind blowing to me... I have not in my half-baked studies come anywhere near having even a base knowledge that enables to give or share insights with others. I think this is just yet another reflection of how Chiron in my 3rd house has made it difficul...

 First off, I'M IN THE LIBRARY CAFE enjoying coffee and danish. The ritual begins!! I'm here an hour later than I was on my last visit, but that's ok! I'm my own boss, I can set my own hours! Well except GOD really is who my boss is and I work according to his urgings and musings inside my heart... I'm just glad both of my bosses cooperated and got me here today!!! I made a surprising discovery over the weekend. MY TWITTER ACCOUNT is NOT suspended or closed, the way that I thought it was... about 8 months ago I received an email from Twitter saying that I had violated terms of service and that they were shutting my account down and that I would be prohibited from ever making a new account. I had not been using Twitter since the pandemic began and KNOW that I never posted anything controversial in the slightest degree... when I read that email I was just like, well this is the weirdness of the world now, and accepted it. A few days ago I was asking a friend about con...

 Thirteen days since I last found the time and space to sit here and talk to you.... whyyyyyy??? I'm so dependent on routine. This is my simplest excuse. I thrive on groove. By that I mean, that by repeating a practice, I create a groove that builds up and maintains energy. By going to the same cafe (every day) at the same time and having the same drink (not necessarily needing to sit at the same table, thank goodness) I build up an energy of presence that supports my ability to feel good, and motivated to continue doing what I do. For me, this is writing... for others with similar mind constructs it could be myriad other types of practices... so I am sure that I'm not alone suffering from this proclivity. And it takes me so much time and effort to create this type of supportive groove for myself. It always has... even when I was younger so I don't think it's a factor of age. There is a lack of flexibility that I'm suffering from and an inability to adapt to changes...

 Just trying to get connected to the muse... again... I used to be able to do this quite easily, in fact, it used to be so easy to do that I think for a number of years I was plugged in and connected to the muse more than I was not. Those were the highly productive years when I was working on my Cemetery Girl photo project AND writing my Cemetery Girl novel... a good seven to ten years I was in that state of continually flowing inspiration... easily the best years of my life. I had no boss other than the muse, and she LOVED me, soo soo much. How did my marriage to her disintegrate? I think this is a question worthy of deep contemplation. But maybe I should go back to the beginning of how and when I first met her. In the mid-2000s, when I first decided to experiment with stopping taking psych meds (which took about a year to clear out of my system and to begin to feel freedom from the mind control my pdoc exerted over me)... the agoraphobia started to wane and I signed up for an ant...

 Sitting in a library, something I don't do often enough, partly because the closest library to where I live is small, claustrophobic, yet has big windows that sit on a busy noisy street (which also let in TOO much light)... all these aspects make me uncomfortable... but here I am inside a library 10 miles away from home, and it's cavernous in comparison to my city library... i can find corners to hide in where no light of day reminds me of how hot it is outside...  So I came in here just to kill an hour of time... and what do I do but browse the New Book section, not really intending to find anything of much interest... I pick up a novel by Christopher Golden (a prolific YA author in his early days - I first read a bit of Buffy-fiction that he wrote over a decade ago...) with a blurb on the cover by Stephen King, saying "...this story will take you on a trip that will scare the hell out of you... I LOVED IT...", so I picked it up and just 5 pages into it, I'm hoo...

 I've been out of town for the past fortnight taking care of dogs, and a cat. I don't really want to go into detail about that right now... but I might choose to talk about what happened later. What I'm hoping to begin to do is write in here, regularly, again. I'm also looking forward to rebuilding my meditation practice. What disrupted these trends for me is just the simple awkwardness of being in strange surroundings and being influenced by the needs and schedules of little beasts. I should be more adaptable to slight changes in routine, but it is what it is. Another thing I am dying to do is get back out into the hills of Las Trampas for some hiking. Spring-coolness is departing from this region very soon and this is troubling to me. I just need to focus on not being so mentally bothered by uncomfortable weather conditions. Thankfully the park stays open late into the evening, so it's possible to go for hikes in the late evening (6-9pm) when the worst heat of the...

Tá rud éigin aisteach ag tarlú agus tá sé ag cur eagla orm. Na cineálacha rudaí a bhíodh ag tarlú a thug ar dhochtúirí a áiteamh go dtógaim cineálacha cógas... na cineálacha aisteacha rudaí sin... Dá mbeadh comhrá macánta agam le mo shíciatraí amárach faoina bhfuil ar bun agam. m'intinn le 6 mhí anuas, d'áitigh sé go raibh gá agam le cógas arís. Ach tá a fhios agam go bhfuil na milliúin daoine ar an bpláinéad seo atá ag fulaingt na cineálacha céanna rudaí is a bhíonn agam, agus ní chreideann nó nach nglacann siad go bhfuil meabhairghalar orthu. Creideann siadsan agus mé féin go bhfuil mé ag fulaingt le próiseas éabhlóideach a thugann rochtain dom ar stáit níos airde comhfhiosachta ... féach, is cuma craiceáilte é sin ... dá ndéarfainn le mo dhochtúir go rachainn isteach i stáit trance. áit a gcreidim gur féidir liom cumarsáid a dhéanamh leis na mairbh, áitíonn siad go raibh mé ag sleamhnú ar ais isteach i staid intinne scitsiféiseach ... níor mhaith liom dul ar ais go dtí an sa...