the times they are a screwed up...
the time has come to write this post. all of my pre-contemplative ideas of how to speak beguilinigly, to offer an illusion that i have been in control of my life are exhausted. so now i will write pretty much straight from the gut. i don't know how to say that i screwed up without saying that I AM screwed up. i mean, in some ways i can seperate my self from my situation(s) but the majority of the time the weight and presence of this physical being and it's dense mind coerce me to believe in a "smaller self". in some ways i'm glad i screwed up at school, this time, again, this way... it's familiar yet it was new. i always seem to make some sort of impression when i come out of my shell and become able to participate with other people in studies. people seem to think i'm a likable character but no one ever really seems to like me. the people over the years that i still keep in touch with would forget about me if it weren't for me keeping in touc...