THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

just want to document that my dear friend had the strongest break in her spirit occur this week, during the time that i've known her, at least. was it an emotional breakdown? by medical terms? i don't know, but by all other signs, yes, she broke down emotionally. she was so heavily burdened by a thousand tons of emotions that were crushing her heart and soul and she was fighting with her mind to stay alive, to find a way to keep alive to keep on living. I've never seen such determination in anyone , ever. At least not in someone I've known personally. she entered the hospital about 50 hours ago to get emergency care and i don't know when I'll hear from her again. i get snippets of info through the grapevine but until i hear from her directly i won't truly know how she is doing. it's a real turning point, in so many ways for her, but it's also a point where she is going to be taken deeper into the realities of having to deal realistically with all the...

Forgive the negligence of my habit here. The gaps in time break the story flow so badly sometimes. The last entry should have been followed up within 3 days with the news that the silence we fell into ended. There is a force at work between us greater than our shallow thinking that overwhelms our confusions that helps us heal our misunderstandings and brings us back to union. We are once again stronger than before, yet there are still obstacles in the way that make it difficult for us to be as close as would most powerfully benefit both of our lives. I'd have to read back through my entries here, or in my other blog(s) about what my former predictions were about when she and I becoming a pair, an actual couple. Because now, more than after any of the previous breakups she's been through I have a resurgence of conviction that despite how strongly she still denies the possibility, and despite how much I have surrendered my own imaginations to her disbelief that we could ever b...

i have not written here in a very long time for a few reasons. one has been that i've been so full busy of the doings of my life that i've had no time or reason to contemplate or record my activities and thoughts. another reason i've stopped writing is because many of the activities i've been engaging in of late are no one's business but my own and my closest confidantes, and my suspicion has been aroused that there have been new readers of the blog that have cast judgement upon myself and other's close to me. that suspicion has led me to take steps to relocate the blog. whether that will hide it or not well enough, i do not know. why I do not just turn the blog entirely private is because i cannot write in this confessional manner that i enter into in these entries unless i have the sense that i am speaking before a wide open audience, as if i were in the court of God. in a private room, i would feel too scrutinized by my own observations to let myself speak fr...