THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

 Soooo, another one of the women of my life has not risen to the top of my consciousness yet for me to re-explore... but I'm still feeling pretty lit up about exploring deep memories, deep analysis... so let's just see where this blank page leads me to. Talking with Scarlett this morning, she was reflecting on how she is frustrated from not being able to work out a facet of her life that is deeply marred in her natal chart... if you are not familiar with astrological analysis, my putting the details here would on serve to confuse you... but what struck me about what she said was that now that she's lived 30 years and has not been able to resolve these struggles, she thinks she'll never be able to do so in this lifetime. The nerve that struck in me was that I've lived twice as long as she has and even though I was not able to rectify my struggles by my 30s, I have not given up working on them. Being twice her age I'm better at living with these struggles than I...

 I found God when I was 14 years old (1973). Or, God awoke my awareness of ITSELF when I was that age. I wasn't looking for God but somehow, I was ready to be awakened and flooded with God's love at that point in my life. Just 2 years after the death of my father, perhaps, this was God's way of interceding and protecting me before I could seriously get lost. Sadly, I still ended up getting seriously lost when I turned 18. 5 whole years of devotion to God, of being flooded with God's Grace, of developing visions of how I wanted to impact the world through becoming a missionary of God's love to the world, what a miraculous time that was. But it was shortlived.  When I turned 18 I went away to college and the shock of being out in the world on my own thrust the unresolved pain of the loss of my father back into my face. Despite all the associates I spent time with in high school, I was programmed to be a loner in this lifetime. (I'm still a loner to this very day.)...