750 words - day 14

Something has powerfully shifted today, even in just the last few minutes I've felt this shift go deeper inside, gears in my inner workings are engaging and beginning to budge after seemingly having felt like they were seized up with decades old rust. I wrestled with frustration this morning over how my friend Eric and I have been unsuccessful at even getting close to having matching numbers in our manifestation game to win the California Super Lotto game together (of which if either of us wins, we will split the total with the other). My frustration was based in my belief and conviction that we CAN do something like this. It's how the universe operates! But I feel like something has shifted since I made that frustrated outburst, something deep inside myself, at least has broken free of it's restraints and perhaps now we are moving closer, and deeper into understanding and cooperation with the Vortex/Matrix where we can, "do as thou wilt"... I think the large challenge for myself is to let go of why I feel this is "important". The truth is, it's not important. Whether I become capable of manifesting wealth because I desire to or not, my life is just as perfect and complete and beautiful now, as I could ever be if I had more money than I do now. I am already a complete expression of God's love and power. So we will see. Regardless if this fantasy will play out and materialize or not, I am feeling such a strong and powerful sense of the presence of God moving into and through me right now, I feel like all my chakras are vibrating so brightly. 

I had another experience earlier this afternoon, talking on the phone with a very old friend. As usual, I am the listener and affirmer in conversations. Letting the friend expound upon their life matters and I give loving attention and feedback, hoping to shine light on answers to their quandaries that already lie withing themselves. But I now feel something else waking up inside me,  again, after talking/listening to this friend for an hour. And this is not something I even had cross my mind when we were on the phone together. She used to be part of a vision I used to have, oh 6 or 7 years ago of buying a house together with in Portland, and living there as single adults, yet by sharing living space together (Scarlett was a founding member of this dream vision too), we would be close members of a working machinery of friendship and personal support that would empower each other to become our fullest and most complete selves. I have not been feeling or thinking about that old dream at all, not for years now, but somehow it's rising up from inside my belly now... maybe this IS something I am destined to still have come true in this lifetime. Perhaps Brittney (who I was on the phone with today) could become a member of such a plan, and maybe someday Scarlett could come and join us. I mean, I know there are always varying and converging timelines happening for everyone. Scarlett was a profound component of my building this vision in the early phases of my imaginings and her spirit will always accompany me wherever I go out in the world to do whatever I do. This is the beauty of creation, there are no rules, no restrictions, the sky is the limit to what we can allow to happen when our souls are set free.

I'm just saying that right now, there's a surge of rebelief in my ability to make a dream vision manifest. I suspect it's part of the ascension energies interactions with us all right now that are going i6n here on earth. I can't wait to finish this entry and go sit and mediate to feel how this light and love will expand inside my being. The other side of this coin is that if a dream vision does not manifest into reality, that's part of the awareness of the full expression of God too, and the challenge for me is to experience just as much delight and joy in the nullification of a hope becoming reality. The failing to manifest is just as much the pure expression of God power and love as the flip side of the coin. I desire to find joy in both realities. And I feel I am doing so, more and more each passing day.