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i did something yesterday that made me feel really good. i just wish i felt inspired to do it more often. and that i could afford to do it more often. i bought a dress for someone. i do remember actually buying a dress one time for someone. my last girl friend. i had no money and bought her a cheap, hippy dress in an import shop in santa cruz, as a going away present. i was never going to see her again and felt obliged to give her something. she was always so vocal in her expressing her true thoughts and said that it would work as a "house dress", suitable for "cleaning days"... i was not in the routine of buying anyone dresses, so did not know better how to find something, how to know about sizes, how to know what someone would find appealing. it was a "do or die" situation... well, weeks later, because i did take offense at her comment, i saved up money that i would have spent on beer and bought her a really classy silk dressing gown out of the Victoria's Secret catalog. she never even mentioned receiving it from me but a mutual friend told me that when they had vacationed in Hawaii together "she never took it off"...
nowadays i am not embarrassed, not too much at least, to walk into the ladies section of a store and look at dresses. i can do it with confidence because i have reason to do it. and i have bought things before. just not a dress, a beautiful vintage dress like the one i found yesterday. if it had been for sale at it's full price i may have considered paying that for it ($40) anyway, but it was marked down 70% ($12) so i really had to buy it. i took a phone cam snap of it and sent it to the actual person who i was imagining wearing it for a shoot and asked ehr what she thought of it. she wrote right back and said she loved it. i asked the store owner about the size, because i am awful at understanding the size of a woman's body and matching them up with actual dresses. she determined that even though the label said size 7 it was probably a size 3. the model responded that she normally wears size 2 so size 3 should be fine! i bought it, took it home and took some more detailed photos of it to show her, then decided to actually send it to her in the mail so she can try it on. it's in the mail now. odd thing is that we do not even have this photo shoot scheduled yet. i don't know when it's going to happen. i've been waiting nearly two years to photograph this girl.
she's doing something really special for me in return though. she's a singer/songwriter and i asked her to learn to play Dave Matthew's song, GRAVEDIGGER so that we could film her singing it in the cemetery when we shoot her. she's an amazingly gifted singer. it's going to be an amazing thing to see/hear her perform that.
that was sort of my birthday present to myself yesterday. the thrill of buying a pretty girl a dress.
anyway, i'm just really tired. i wish i lived in a big, spacious home with large windows and wooden floors on cliffs overlooking the ocean. where i could be awoken by the dawn and lulled to sleep by the crashing surf and where i would be filtered by the natural fatigue of breathing fresh, ocean air everyday. a healthy diet, lots of writing... if i were still alone in that setting, i think i could still handle it. but the rejuvenation to my body that the freshness would inspire would just give my spirit a lot more power.
the escape from the social-network experiment is continuing. i wrote two letters, on paper this evening. it was hard. my hand got tired from holding a pen and i definitely wrote much, much less than i would have were i to write an email. i most certainly did not say everything that i could have/would have if i were typing. and i don't think that if i were using a typewriter that it would be the same as emailing either. there is something free-form about being able to flow out your thoughts so effortlessly electronically,..
but it felt good. it felt old school. it felt personal and it felt like something that would last. i know that i still have letters that were written to me back in the 1970s. my mom has letters that were written to her in the 1940s. i have emails that were written to me in the mid-90s that have vanished. elaborate friendship letters that i'll never be able to see again. so i think this is a good thing to try to do. whether i'll really be able to go fully retrograde, we'll see... i doubt it, but at least i'm doing what i said i'd do. i'm trying.
oh, i also bought something else for someone yesterday. my friend Burt lives by the beach. i teased him awhile ago, that he needs to get in touch with his beatnik spirit and that he should get some bongo drums and sit down on the beach and do some "beat poetry"... well, yesterday there were bongo drums for sale in the thrift store. i nabbed them.
blogging is feeling good again. the shift out of the sns is giving me more energy flow into my thoughts, which means i need to write/talk more. the poetry blog has come to new life, which i'm delighted with but the most important new development has been...
nowadays i am not embarrassed, not too much at least, to walk into the ladies section of a store and look at dresses. i can do it with confidence because i have reason to do it. and i have bought things before. just not a dress, a beautiful vintage dress like the one i found yesterday. if it had been for sale at it's full price i may have considered paying that for it ($40) anyway, but it was marked down 70% ($12) so i really had to buy it. i took a phone cam snap of it and sent it to the actual person who i was imagining wearing it for a shoot and asked ehr what she thought of it. she wrote right back and said she loved it. i asked the store owner about the size, because i am awful at understanding the size of a woman's body and matching them up with actual dresses. she determined that even though the label said size 7 it was probably a size 3. the model responded that she normally wears size 2 so size 3 should be fine! i bought it, took it home and took some more detailed photos of it to show her, then decided to actually send it to her in the mail so she can try it on. it's in the mail now. odd thing is that we do not even have this photo shoot scheduled yet. i don't know when it's going to happen. i've been waiting nearly two years to photograph this girl.
she's doing something really special for me in return though. she's a singer/songwriter and i asked her to learn to play Dave Matthew's song, GRAVEDIGGER so that we could film her singing it in the cemetery when we shoot her. she's an amazingly gifted singer. it's going to be an amazing thing to see/hear her perform that.
that was sort of my birthday present to myself yesterday. the thrill of buying a pretty girl a dress.
anyway, i'm just really tired. i wish i lived in a big, spacious home with large windows and wooden floors on cliffs overlooking the ocean. where i could be awoken by the dawn and lulled to sleep by the crashing surf and where i would be filtered by the natural fatigue of breathing fresh, ocean air everyday. a healthy diet, lots of writing... if i were still alone in that setting, i think i could still handle it. but the rejuvenation to my body that the freshness would inspire would just give my spirit a lot more power.
the escape from the social-network experiment is continuing. i wrote two letters, on paper this evening. it was hard. my hand got tired from holding a pen and i definitely wrote much, much less than i would have were i to write an email. i most certainly did not say everything that i could have/would have if i were typing. and i don't think that if i were using a typewriter that it would be the same as emailing either. there is something free-form about being able to flow out your thoughts so effortlessly electronically,..
but it felt good. it felt old school. it felt personal and it felt like something that would last. i know that i still have letters that were written to me back in the 1970s. my mom has letters that were written to her in the 1940s. i have emails that were written to me in the mid-90s that have vanished. elaborate friendship letters that i'll never be able to see again. so i think this is a good thing to try to do. whether i'll really be able to go fully retrograde, we'll see... i doubt it, but at least i'm doing what i said i'd do. i'm trying.
oh, i also bought something else for someone yesterday. my friend Burt lives by the beach. i teased him awhile ago, that he needs to get in touch with his beatnik spirit and that he should get some bongo drums and sit down on the beach and do some "beat poetry"... well, yesterday there were bongo drums for sale in the thrift store. i nabbed them.
blogging is feeling good again. the shift out of the sns is giving me more energy flow into my thoughts, which means i need to write/talk more. the poetry blog has come to new life, which i'm delighted with but the most important new development has been...
handwritten letter
dress for pretty girl
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