more and/or less... (en francaise)
non sûr ce que vous recevrez des nouvelles moi aujourd'hui. ou si
vous pourrez le lire j'ai eu une réalisation hier qu'une partie de la
raison pour laquelle obtenir je ne peux pas ce que je veux est que je
le rends si évident que je suis dans le besoin. ainsi, peut-être est
un changement d'attitude ce que je dois entreprendre. je laisse
tellement de mon énergie sortir aux endroits inconnus à la recherche
de de ce que j'ai besoin et c'est unmet. quand est-il senti par
d'autres qu'il a ce dégoût indigent à lui ainsi à la baise qui,
hein ? je n'ai besoin aucun ou n'importe quelle chose tout que j'ai
est exacte ici chez moi je connais que ceci ne fonctionnera pas parce
qu'une partie de ce qu'est ma logique est ceci. je passe tout mon seul
temps déjà. je pourrais aussi bien m'amuser être par me, seul je ne
vais pas obtenir d'avoir l'amusement avec d'autres en le désirant
plus, quand je demande à d'autres pour avoir l'amusement avec moi
qu'elles ne répondent pas. ainsi je suis amusement allé est une
chose soloe pour moi dès maintenant là-dessus toujours a été de
toute façon.
so i am actually in danville right now. i have not been able to extricate myself from the house for a week or more now. isolation blues. agoraphobia striking me hard. i have an urge to shift from photography back to writing now. i want to explore some flash fiction techniques to get these stories out of me. i love story writing as no one knows if you are telling the truth or not. i can have sex, i can murder, i can make you believe it is someone else, i can allude to it being me. imagination is splurged from so many sources. i can copy an event i heard in the news. i can tell something personal and make it like news. i can retell someone else's story. or i can be original. my novel is an original story. it will blow minds when it is published.
had two dreams in the past week that i believe were spurred by drinking coffee early in the morning. funny thing is that if fell back asleep within an hour of drinking it, fell into these dreams. both dreams seemed lucid and were of me inside my actual bed. in one i had picked up my electric guitar and was jamming with it, as if it were the most natural thing. in the other a woman i know got into my bed and allowed me to hold her, and we fell asleep together. it was like she knew i was hurting so badly for contact that she gave this to me as a gift. came to me in spirit and let me hold her, to sleep and dream with. it was very lucid and i felt so nurtured by her. we awoke in the dream and went to sit outside afterwards on a redwood deck where we sat in silence, wondering about the results of this experiment. see, she is married and this would not be something that could happen again. or would ever happen in my real life. it was wonderful though. one detail i recall is that she wore a short skirt and that i could see that her legs were unshaven. very santa cruzish.
the painter fella that hangs here in this danville starbux just walked in and picked up our conversation where we left off, oh, over three weeks ago. he had told me this other fella here in town that has stories of encountering Eugene O'Neill's ghost. authentic ghost stories! how perfect is this for feeding my frenzy about my novel's MC. they hang out in this bar uptown on Tuesday nights, the guy is looking forward to meeting me so that he can tell me his stories! yes, i think that aside for taking concert photos it is time to put the camera away for awhile.
i need to find my way back into the cemetery soon, too. i missed the entire month of May for remembrance activities. expect to see me writing more here in French, or Italian, or Cyrillic... i use this tactic to let you, dear reader, know that i am talking about things that are deeper and more personal. i don't understand these languages but use babel-fish translators to convert my text. if you are that curious, reverse translation loses gist, but nonetheless will give you some idea of what i am babbling about.
oh, one last thing. i have received no responses to my last inquiries to photograph upcoming concerts. this has made me look more closely at how i did in fact get those previous two gigs. seems that i told both of those bands that i already had tickets to their shows and that i only wanted permission to bring my DSLR into the clubs. the show at The Independent, well it was unneeded as there over a dozen other people there with DSLRs. the Lacuna Coil show at Slim's though (the show i didn't make it to because of the food poisoning incident) probably would have had a restriction on DSLRs, and that pass would have worked. point being, i had tickets to both shows that i purchased. now that i am asking for entirely free admission, no one is responding.
et j'ai introduit un résumé à SPIN.com. n'ai pas entendu en
arrière d'eux pourtant il y a une exposition ce soir qui aurait été
très spéciale pour que je s'occupe, chiot maigre, mais mon déficit
de compte bancaire continue à se développer ; $249.75 en date
d'aujourd'hui et là ne seront aucun achat des billets de concert
pendant un temps très long pour venir. si n'importe qui serait
disposé à m'acheter des billets aux expositions, sentez-vous libre
pour cliquer sur le bouton de PayPal et pour indiquer quelle
exposition vous voudriez que m'aide à m'occuper dans une note.
vous pourrez le lire j'ai eu une réalisation hier qu'une partie de la
raison pour laquelle obtenir je ne peux pas ce que je veux est que je
le rends si évident que je suis dans le besoin. ainsi, peut-être est
un changement d'attitude ce que je dois entreprendre. je laisse
tellement de mon énergie sortir aux endroits inconnus à la recherche
de de ce que j'ai besoin et c'est unmet. quand est-il senti par
d'autres qu'il a ce dégoût indigent à lui ainsi à la baise qui,
hein ? je n'ai besoin aucun ou n'importe quelle chose tout que j'ai
est exacte ici chez moi je connais que ceci ne fonctionnera pas parce
qu'une partie de ce qu'est ma logique est ceci. je passe tout mon seul
temps déjà. je pourrais aussi bien m'amuser être par me, seul je ne
vais pas obtenir d'avoir l'amusement avec d'autres en le désirant
plus, quand je demande à d'autres pour avoir l'amusement avec moi
qu'elles ne répondent pas. ainsi je suis amusement allé est une
chose soloe pour moi dès maintenant là-dessus toujours a été de
toute façon.
so i am actually in danville right now. i have not been able to extricate myself from the house for a week or more now. isolation blues. agoraphobia striking me hard. i have an urge to shift from photography back to writing now. i want to explore some flash fiction techniques to get these stories out of me. i love story writing as no one knows if you are telling the truth or not. i can have sex, i can murder, i can make you believe it is someone else, i can allude to it being me. imagination is splurged from so many sources. i can copy an event i heard in the news. i can tell something personal and make it like news. i can retell someone else's story. or i can be original. my novel is an original story. it will blow minds when it is published.
had two dreams in the past week that i believe were spurred by drinking coffee early in the morning. funny thing is that if fell back asleep within an hour of drinking it, fell into these dreams. both dreams seemed lucid and were of me inside my actual bed. in one i had picked up my electric guitar and was jamming with it, as if it were the most natural thing. in the other a woman i know got into my bed and allowed me to hold her, and we fell asleep together. it was like she knew i was hurting so badly for contact that she gave this to me as a gift. came to me in spirit and let me hold her, to sleep and dream with. it was very lucid and i felt so nurtured by her. we awoke in the dream and went to sit outside afterwards on a redwood deck where we sat in silence, wondering about the results of this experiment. see, she is married and this would not be something that could happen again. or would ever happen in my real life. it was wonderful though. one detail i recall is that she wore a short skirt and that i could see that her legs were unshaven. very santa cruzish.
the painter fella that hangs here in this danville starbux just walked in and picked up our conversation where we left off, oh, over three weeks ago. he had told me this other fella here in town that has stories of encountering Eugene O'Neill's ghost. authentic ghost stories! how perfect is this for feeding my frenzy about my novel's MC. they hang out in this bar uptown on Tuesday nights, the guy is looking forward to meeting me so that he can tell me his stories! yes, i think that aside for taking concert photos it is time to put the camera away for awhile.
i need to find my way back into the cemetery soon, too. i missed the entire month of May for remembrance activities. expect to see me writing more here in French, or Italian, or Cyrillic... i use this tactic to let you, dear reader, know that i am talking about things that are deeper and more personal. i don't understand these languages but use babel-fish translators to convert my text. if you are that curious, reverse translation loses gist, but nonetheless will give you some idea of what i am babbling about.
oh, one last thing. i have received no responses to my last inquiries to photograph upcoming concerts. this has made me look more closely at how i did in fact get those previous two gigs. seems that i told both of those bands that i already had tickets to their shows and that i only wanted permission to bring my DSLR into the clubs. the show at The Independent, well it was unneeded as there over a dozen other people there with DSLRs. the Lacuna Coil show at Slim's though (the show i didn't make it to because of the food poisoning incident) probably would have had a restriction on DSLRs, and that pass would have worked. point being, i had tickets to both shows that i purchased. now that i am asking for entirely free admission, no one is responding.
et j'ai introduit un résumé à SPIN.com. n'ai pas entendu en
arrière d'eux pourtant il y a une exposition ce soir qui aurait été
très spéciale pour que je s'occupe, chiot maigre, mais mon déficit
de compte bancaire continue à se développer ; $249.75 en date
d'aujourd'hui et là ne seront aucun achat des billets de concert
pendant un temps très long pour venir. si n'importe qui serait
disposé à m'acheter des billets aux expositions, sentez-vous libre
pour cliquer sur le bouton de PayPal et pour indiquer quelle
exposition vous voudriez que m'aide à m'occuper dans une note.
Comments
But I wanted to leave my mark and let you know I am able to leave post on bravenet again. Yahoo!!!
I also want to tell you, I fell out of my chair a few weekends ago.
We were visiting the in-laws and hubby was watching a concert that had been taped and I fell out of my chair cause I saw you. LOL.
Hubby and in-laws were frowning at me cause I was pointing and yelling I know him, by the time they looked back at the t.v. the camera had moved off of you.
Can't remember what concert it was, but seeing you being out and about having fun made me happy for you.
I can't believe it has been 283 days 19h, 33min ago since I did my first journal entry.
Very interesting dream you had there. ;-) It was a dream right? Oh, I hope it was a dream. I think I would have to sit down and cry for days if I lost your friendship to some gal's enraged husband.