darkness where once there was light...
the dreams i have of the ashram i used to attend have always intrigued me greatly because the place NEVER looks like i've ever seen it. i ALWAYS know that is where i am though.
in my dream this morning one characteristic from recent ashram dreams persisted; the place was enshrouded in darkness. mind you, i have also been entertaining thoughts of visiting the place in Oakland again lately. in fact, i considered going there last night. didn't feel a strong enough motivation to follow through.
this dream begins with me inside the ashram; i did not see myself walk in, i just appeared there. i could sense that there were many people inside the building but i did not see them. i could just feel their presences at first. first thing i noticed was that there was a food serving line set up and this made me think that it must be lunch time. i was feeling hungry so i went up and got a tray of food. it looked like rice with ground lamb served over it. a sure indicator that the energy in the ashram had changed because the place has always been, and i'm sure still is, vegetarian. the Indian man gave me a double wide food tray piled up with the stuff, as if he was trying to say, "You need this!" It looked tasty so i took it and walked over to a seat at a table, put it down and reached into my pocket to get my wallet out to pay him.
my wallet was not there. i panicked. it was only $5 but i had nothing. i looked around. a long line had formed at the food line so the server gent didn't notice me. or so it seemed. i looked around the room to see if there was anyone i recognized that might help me out. and there she was, my oldest running friend in the ashram, Dhyani. she was standing in a shadow and appeared as a silhouette. for all i knew, she could have actually been the embodiment of the guru in disguise as Dhyani. in fact, for the purpose of analyzing this dream she probably was. i don't actually remember seeing Dhyani's face, so yeah, it probably was the guru. i just didn't get a full on "guru vibe" from her.
anyway, i told her my dilemma, "i have no money for lunch, can you help me? i'll pay you back tomorrow!" kinda excuse making. she smiled and came back in a second with a smaller dish with something that looked like pancakes with some red jelly on top. sort of reflective of a bindi. a calm came over me and i sat back (i was on a comfy sofa type chair, burgundy colored now).
i finished the food then got up to walk around, you know, investigate the place. it finally occurred to me that i had been inside the main lobby of the ashram this entire time. i walked over to the corridor that leads from the front door to the amrit. all in dark colors and shadows; so atypical of how it really appears. when i came into what is/was the amrit construction had taken place and the room appeared much smaller than i remember it. also, there was a long curved counter running along the eastern wall and there were people sitting at it. it was a freaking bar! oh my god, what a transformation! everyone dressed darkly, no direct light sources, everything in shadows...
i could feel a "hum" in the building, as if there still was energy from chanting there, but it too was dim and muted. i never found my way to the most inner recess of the building. the pathways there were too dark. i wouldn't have been able to find my way with normal vision, though i think that with my heart i could have found the way. back to when i saw Dhyani, that seemed to be the moment i came closest to seeing the "inside" as i think behind her there was a curtain, similar to the curtain that does actually guard the entrance to the main hall.
well, i go on about inane details and don't recall much more about the activities of the dream other than it ended with the food server man asking me what happened. why i didn't pay him. i explained. he wasn't pleased. that is all i remember.
in my dream this morning one characteristic from recent ashram dreams persisted; the place was enshrouded in darkness. mind you, i have also been entertaining thoughts of visiting the place in Oakland again lately. in fact, i considered going there last night. didn't feel a strong enough motivation to follow through.
this dream begins with me inside the ashram; i did not see myself walk in, i just appeared there. i could sense that there were many people inside the building but i did not see them. i could just feel their presences at first. first thing i noticed was that there was a food serving line set up and this made me think that it must be lunch time. i was feeling hungry so i went up and got a tray of food. it looked like rice with ground lamb served over it. a sure indicator that the energy in the ashram had changed because the place has always been, and i'm sure still is, vegetarian. the Indian man gave me a double wide food tray piled up with the stuff, as if he was trying to say, "You need this!" It looked tasty so i took it and walked over to a seat at a table, put it down and reached into my pocket to get my wallet out to pay him.
my wallet was not there. i panicked. it was only $5 but i had nothing. i looked around. a long line had formed at the food line so the server gent didn't notice me. or so it seemed. i looked around the room to see if there was anyone i recognized that might help me out. and there she was, my oldest running friend in the ashram, Dhyani. she was standing in a shadow and appeared as a silhouette. for all i knew, she could have actually been the embodiment of the guru in disguise as Dhyani. in fact, for the purpose of analyzing this dream she probably was. i don't actually remember seeing Dhyani's face, so yeah, it probably was the guru. i just didn't get a full on "guru vibe" from her.
anyway, i told her my dilemma, "i have no money for lunch, can you help me? i'll pay you back tomorrow!" kinda excuse making. she smiled and came back in a second with a smaller dish with something that looked like pancakes with some red jelly on top. sort of reflective of a bindi. a calm came over me and i sat back (i was on a comfy sofa type chair, burgundy colored now).
i finished the food then got up to walk around, you know, investigate the place. it finally occurred to me that i had been inside the main lobby of the ashram this entire time. i walked over to the corridor that leads from the front door to the amrit. all in dark colors and shadows; so atypical of how it really appears. when i came into what is/was the amrit construction had taken place and the room appeared much smaller than i remember it. also, there was a long curved counter running along the eastern wall and there were people sitting at it. it was a freaking bar! oh my god, what a transformation! everyone dressed darkly, no direct light sources, everything in shadows...
i could feel a "hum" in the building, as if there still was energy from chanting there, but it too was dim and muted. i never found my way to the most inner recess of the building. the pathways there were too dark. i wouldn't have been able to find my way with normal vision, though i think that with my heart i could have found the way. back to when i saw Dhyani, that seemed to be the moment i came closest to seeing the "inside" as i think behind her there was a curtain, similar to the curtain that does actually guard the entrance to the main hall.
well, i go on about inane details and don't recall much more about the activities of the dream other than it ended with the food server man asking me what happened. why i didn't pay him. i explained. he wasn't pleased. that is all i remember.
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