where are my wandering thoughts taking me today...

 I didn't share last night's channeling session because it was not a very clear cut communication like most of my sessions can tend to be. This session dropped me off into a timeline I did not live in, it was a possible timeline; that could have occurred after my father died if my family had decided to stay living in San Leandro (rather than moving to San Ramon)... I don't think I've ever tried to do this type of channeling or it might even be considered to be remote viewing activity before. So it felt strange trying to observe possible scenarios that did not happen... It was a long session too, close to 25 minutes, which is maybe the longest I've done over the past year. So yeah, it was a lot of pausing, and sitting still, just observing, and feeling what the energy was like "there", there in the time that I never lived. 

One of, maybe the strongest realizations I had last night was that I quickly, in a matter of just a few years lost all contact with every single person that I had ever known growing up in San Leandro. The two "best friends" I had that lived down the street from me, Louis and Gerry, those guys never even wrote me a single letter after I moved away (albeit, I don't recall that I wrote to them either). The two people that i had a correspondence with were Jimmy (my first true childhood friend) and Nelson Medeiros, who was my closest gymnastics buddy in junior high school. Both of them wrote to me for a couple of years before we all just "stopped". In long term retrospect, there were a few other people that I "found" online years and years later (early 00s), and I made personal contact with them. One was Cindy Elia (Barnett is her married name), another was the very first girl I ever kissed on this earth Jenny Arce (who I have blogged about before), and the girl I had the strongest crush on in junior high school, Jan Wilson. Yep, I met all three of them in person!! Coffee dates was all that happened.

So this lack of continued contact with any of those kids I grew up with in San Leandro shifts a huge weight over to the "kids" I'm still in contact with now that I met and became friends with in San Ramon/MVHS. I'm still "talking" to most of these guys now. Some of the guys are real chatterboxes, and the rest are busy off living their lives and won't start up a conversation on their own. But I can pretty much count on being able to reach them for a conversation by telephoning them if I need or want to. 

So what does this all mean...? When I was sitting in the "channeling space" last night I was hoping(?) to see significant events appear... but since none did, I think it's because, since nothing DID happen, you can only sense the potential for what might have happened... It's not like I was looking into a parallel dimension where I was living another life alongside the one I did truly live. Maybe that is a different way to go about approaching such a session. Establish from the beginning of the session that I feel/believe that there was forward moving trajectory of an aspect of myself... I'll keep my mind open to that idea for possible future sessions, not sure if I'll do it tonight tho...  One scenario of my life that I have forged in my mind, was that if my father had lived a longer life, I have projected, and felt like I would have aimed to go into the military. I would have enlisted, and if I had received a spiritual awakening in San Leandro during my early teens like I did in San Ramon, I probably would have steered towards becoming a "pastor" in the service... another term for that which eludes my mind right now.

Another imagined trajectory I've played with in my mind over the years was, what if we didn't move to San Ramon, but moved to Alameda instead. There was a house that my parents considered buying in that city, and I have imagined a LOT over the years what could have happened to me if I had grown up during my teen years there. That scenario plays out with a lot of visual energy... Just because of the different social community and the close access to Oakland, Berkeley, and San Francisco, I see that I would have made friends with artists and musicians, and actors and would have been tempted by the activities that those people explore. It was more likely that I would have began experimenting with drugs and alcohol much younger than I did in SR (not until my being nearly 20/21 before I started to drink)... the impending appearance of depression that one day would arise, I clearly believe that I would have most likely succumbed to the suicidal temptations I had in my 19-20 years..  Yeah, I don't think I would have lived long if I had faced those years there...

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Okay, this has gotten hot and deeper than I want to face now, so let's stop talking about that stuff.

For today's youtube shares, there are two travelling youtubers that I really enjoy watching and listening to. I'll post a video of each of their's that I watched today. These two men are an epitome of the kind of person I would like to imagine I could be one day. I never say to myself, "what would I like to be doing 5/10 years from now?"... but maybe something shifted with the channeling/healing the other night where I have begun to flood the event of my father's death with HOLY HEALING LIGHT... maybe I could become like these guys, one day... what I like about them is how they see all the people they interact with in their travels as equals, and they are not afraid to ask anyone, "How are you doing today" and then they'll stand there and engage in a conversation with them for however long it feels comfortable for both parties. That's a quality that my step father had, he'd talk to ANYONE, any stranger he ever met, anywhere. I'm not yet forthcoming like that. But maybe I could try to grow...