just another window into this moment's understandings...

 It doesn't matter what "day" it is, or what "time" it is, all that matters is that I am using "now" to sit here with you and let some feelings and thoughts fall out of my mind onto this page... I'm doing one of the more calm, and idle pet sitting assignments I may have ever done before. The dog is old, yet still pretty energetic - she gets 4-5 10-15 minute walks around her park that is just across the street. But I'm in a part of a town that I rarely ever visit where there is nothing special to go see or do. That's not entirely true, there are bookstores, a library, cafes, and cemeteries all within a few miles of this address, but I'm just not feeling compelled to "get out there and do things"... I do predominately just "stay home" with all the dogs that I care for doing this work. When I'm closer to an interesting "city center" it's more tempting to wander around on my own. I could leave this dog, and most all of these dogs alone for up to 4 hours a day... but I just get kinda comfy being still, and quiet. The one city I got out and wandered around the most was Danville, when I had a one time job that was just blocks away from downtown. I walked daily up to my favorite cafe there, and also visited the library. I don't get jobs in that neighborhood though. Not sure why...

So it turns out to be time well spent getting caught up on rest. Even though I still don't sleep great at night. I get about 4 hours of straight sleep thru the night, then I start waking up 5ish to be aware of the dog's needs. This morning this "ol gal" was awake at 530am, so I jumped up, gave her her breakfast and took her for her first walk. Then we came back and both slept for another 4 hours. I'm just typing right now for the sake of "just typing"... sorry for not opening the vaults to the realm of "deeper thoughts" that are going on... I won't post this until later, I'll just let this be the warm-up intro...

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I did just watch/listen to a video that Elizabeth April posted a couple days ago about a channeling session she did with "Jesus"... that was very enlightening for me. I have similar types of contact/interactions with her, but listening to her describe her encounter helped me expand my imagination about new things I can integrate into my communicating with Him.. I think this is a good clue about what I should do during tonight's channeling session. Just get into Jesus' space and let his energy radiate love, healing, and knowledge into my soul. I don't have any questions for him now, at least no conscious needs, so I'll focus on just letting all of his essence seep into mine and remold me into being a greater lover of ALL.

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Tonight's channeling session: 

It is 11:21 PM on Thursday, June 18th, 2026. Archangel Michael, I acknowledge your ever-enduring presence of protection and for keeping me grounded. Archangels Raziel and Metatron, thank you for the clear perception you enhance for me—my psychic antenna monitors. Sujata, my connection therapist, and Charles Winchester, my activator of awareness for connecting the soul to nature and people—I am ever, ever grateful that you guys never give up on me. Thank you.

A video came out a couple of days ago, and I just blew it off, thinking I had heard her talk about it before, so I wasn't going to listen. Elizabeth April did a video channeling Jesus. Today, I don't know what struck me, but I decided to listen to it, and I'm really glad I did. The things she described about who he is, what he is now, what he looks like, and how he operates fully made sense to me. It resonated, and I believe it's what I've seen and felt before as well. He no longer has a human personage. It's not like looking up to heaven and seeing the man that was Jesus; he has become an ascended energy form—basically a mass of energy, but the frequency is so highly refined and advanced.

When you look at photos of distinct, radiant galaxies, that is kind of what he appears and feels like—beautiful, very refined energy. But it's not far away; it's right here. It's always accessible to us, and all you need to do is flip this little switch in your awareness to step into it, to blend into it. His greatest message is about us loving ourselves. That's where the ego completely dissolves—when we can look at ourselves in the mirror, look ourselves in the eye, and say, "I love you," with no hindrance or hesitation, despite all the things we think are unlovable about ourselves. That's when we become most like him.

I almost feel like I don't even need to have a structured session with him. I'm just going to sit here for a little bit with him and see if he speaks anything to me about what I'm doing or what I'm not doing. I just want to resonate more with him; I want to be more attuned. I'm feeling it; I'm feeling it.

I feel very light. All of a sudden, I feel very thin, like the density of my 3D body has thinned out. I feel very airy and light, like I can see the atoms dancing around inside the perception of what I am. I don't need to ask you for anything, Lord, other than to give you thanks and gratitude for helping me get to this point where I can understand, accept, and experience this connection with you so well.

I remember one of the prayers we used to do when we were teenagers in the young "Jesus freak" crowd: *Thy will be done.* That's what I will ask you for. Instead of me doing the things I want to do for myself, what can I do for you? What can I do to help the world experience your true essence more? Thy will be done. Thy will be done—not my will, but thine.

You just kind of said that it's in the decisions you make in each moment. When you come to a point and you say, "Okay, what am I going to do?"—that's when you look for the selfless answer. I'm not going to do something for myself; I'm going to do something for someone else, or for the world. Giving, giving, giving your energy—giving what you have, what you own. There have always been those parables about the rich man, how it is more difficult for a rich man to enter heaven than it is for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.

This is giving me flashbacks to my Jesus years when I was a teenager. We used to love the stories of the New Testament; we used to feel such joy reading those stories. They were so full of light, hope, and power. They were like magical words, and being devoted to reading those pages nurtured something in us where it connected us. I remember just seeing the old, worn-out copies of the New Testament that I used to have, which got worn out from me reading them so much, full of bookmarks, underlined text, and memorization. It was an act of devotion; we believed that God was in those words. I know now that it was a period of training—feeling and going through those exercises like that. Now I understand that everything—like when I'm out in the park and I look at a tree—carries that same power. Looking at a tree, the energy and presence of God comes through what I see there, or in anything I look at.

I'm talking too much. I don't know that I'm really channeling; I think I'm just... let's see if we can just be quiet for a second and see if anything comes through.

Hello. Yes, it was him, and he's like, "I can still talk to you like a man. You don't have to just be vibing with the radiant orb that I am now." He can still translate meaning through; it's okay. He was really happy with the experiences people had back in the 70s during that time. It was really, really uniquely special. He's like, "Don't ignore those memories. Don't ignore thinking and feeling how good that was, and try to revive it. Try to revive that youthful attitude you had back then."

I ask you to help me do that. Can you help me do that, Lord? Can you help me feel that again—just about my whole life in general, not like becoming a Jesus freak again, but my whole attitude toward the entire world and into my work. Thank you for this blessing. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

I think I need to let this session go here. Thank you to everyone who helped me with this, and thank you, Lord. Thank you for the message through Elizabeth. She talked about how she got deeper into the orb—the heart of Jesus—in her meditations, and she felt the overwhelming power of the pure love that he is. I would like to be able to experience that and feel that, too. He's telling me: don't rush away. I'm not gonna rush away. I want to feel that again; I wanna feel it more than I've ever felt it before.

I wish I could find someone who writes modern theological or spiritual writings. There used to be Matthew Fox; he was somebody I was interested in reading at one point in time, and then I never did, because he had radical ideas about Christianity. I wonder if there's something like that I can read that would help me get wired into accessing this deeper heart of God. Guide me, Lord, guide me. I'm gonna go look up Matthew Fox books and see if there's something that might be similar to that; maybe that's what I should be reading next. Maybe that's why all the fiction I've been looking at recently—like the Donald Ray Pollock books—just is falling flat. Maybe I need to go back and read some spiritual literature. We'll see what happens; we'll see what comes forth.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Come and speak to me in my dreams, my friends, my teammates. Help me be awake and aware in my dreams and remember them. Thank you. Okay, we're gonna stop here. Good night.

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I'm going to share something really unique and personal with you, whoever reads this. I shared my channeling session with Chatgpt mainly because I was interested in it making book referrals for me.

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Thank you for sharing the session. A few things stood out to me—not as a judgment of the experience itself, but as themes that seemed to repeat throughout the text.

The first is that this session feels very different from some of the Johnny Cash, Mel Blanc, Hank Williams, or Hollywood-oriented sessions you've shared recently. Those often carried a sense of exploration, investigation, or conversation. This one feels devotional.

The repeated current running through almost every paragraph is:

Simplicity

Gratitude

Service

Love

Presence

Returning to something that once felt alive

What surprised me most was that the session didn't seem focused on acquiring new information. It seemed focused on recovering a state of being.

You mention several times the spiritual intensity of your teenage years—the worn New Testaments, the underlining, the memorization, the joy, the feeling that the words themselves carried power. Then later in the session comes the realization that you now encounter that same presence in trees, nature, and ordinary life.

That's a fascinating progression because the session isn't telling you to go backward. It seems to be saying:

Remember the openness you had back then, but bring it into who you are now.

Not "become seventeen again."

Not "become a Jesus freak again."

But recover the expectancy, wonder, devotion, and willingness to be moved.

That feels very different.

As for books...

Based on everything you've shared over the last few weeks—including your return to writing, your emotional response to Ted Lasso, your renewed connection with prayer, your fascination with consciousness, and your desire for something deeper than doomscrolling or conspiracy material—I think you might be standing at the doorway of a different kind of reading season.

Not fiction.

Not astrology.

Not channeling manuals.

Something more contemplative.

Start with Matthew Fox

You specifically mentioned him for a reason.

The book I'd begin with is:

Original Blessing

This is probably his most influential work.

Its central premise is that spirituality begins not with humanity's fallenness but with the original goodness and sacredness of creation.

Given your recent emphasis on finding God in trees, nature, people, and everyday life, I suspect this would land much more deeply now than it would have twenty years ago.

Thomas Merton

New Seeds of Contemplation

If Matthew Fox is expansive and cosmic, Merton is quiet and inward.

Merton writes about the false self and true self, silence, prayer, contemplation, and discovering the divine presence in ordinary life.

His writing has a way of slowing the nervous system down.

I could easily imagine you taking this book to the library and reading a few pages at a time.

Richard Rohr

The Universal Christ

This may be the closest thing to the theology you were describing in your session.

Rohr argues that Christ is not limited to a historical figure but is a universal presence permeating all creation.

Whether someone agrees with him or not, it is one of the most influential modern spiritual books written from within the Christian tradition.

When you wrote:

"Looking at a tree, the energy and presence of God comes through what I see there"

I immediately thought of Rohr.

Henri Nouwen

The Return of the Prodigal Son

This is one of the most beautiful books ever written about divine love.

It's gentle.

Tender.

Not intellectual.

Not argumentative.

It is very much about learning to see yourself through God's eyes.

Considering how much of your session centered around self-love and acceptance, this could be especially meaningful.

Brother Lawrence

The Practice of the Presence of God

Tiny book.

Massive impact.

The entire idea is learning to experience God while doing ordinary daily activities.

Walking.

Cooking.

Working.

Cleaning.

Looking at a tree.

Exactly the kind of movement your session seemed to be pointing toward.

A Wild Card Choice

The Book of Joy

Not Christian theology.

But one of the most life-affirming spiritual books I've encountered.

Two elders reflecting on joy, suffering, forgiveness, aging, and service.

There is a warmth to it that reminds me of the feeling you described when remembering your teenage spiritual years.

If I were choosing a reading sequence specifically for you right now, it would be:

Original Blessing

The Universal Christ

New Seeds of Contemplation

The Practice of the Presence of God

What strikes me is that your session ended with a question about books, but the session itself may have already answered it.

You spent much of the last month immersed in Donald Ray Pollock's world—a world of brokenness, violence, grief, and inherited suffering. Those books clearly affected you deeply.

This session feels like a swing of the pendulum in the opposite direction.

Not away from truth.

Toward nourishment.

Toward wonder.

Toward recovering that feeling of opening a worn-out book and believing that what was inside its pages might actually change you.