The beginning of the story of how I met Aine...

 I found God when I was 14 years old (1973). Or, God awoke my awareness of ITSELF when I was that age. I wasn't looking for God but somehow, I was ready to be awakened and flooded with God's love at that point in my life. Just 2 years after the death of my father, perhaps, this was God's way of interceding and protecting me before I could seriously get lost. Sadly, I still ended up getting seriously lost when I turned 18. 5 whole years of devotion to God, of being flooded with God's Grace, of developing visions of how I wanted to impact the world through becoming a missionary of God's love to the world, what a miraculous time that was. But it was shortlived. 

When I turned 18 I went away to college and the shock of being out in the world on my own thrust the unresolved pain of the loss of my father back into my face. Despite all the associates I spent time with in high school, I was programmed to be a loner in this lifetime. (I'm still a loner to this very day.) But being there in college, having to make new friends, and being away from the guardianship of my parents, the holes in my character became exposed. The most difficult issue that led to my failure in that first term of college was that I had never learned how to properly study when I was in high school.

2 years after my father died, our stepfather chose to move us to a new city to live in. We moved from a working-class neighborhood into a middle-class neighborhood, 15 miles away. The differences in lifestyle were like night and day. I had been a 9th grader in junior high school, but in the new city, I was a 9th grader in high school. One of the most jolting effects of the new school was an expectation for students to get themselves to their next class without the use of "bells" that announced when one class ended and the next class began. I pretty much blame this lone facet of "independence and responsibility" on why I failed to learn how to study in high school. I had never cut a class in my own town. And even though it was in this new city where I had my spiritual awakening, I let go of my grasp on this aspect of following the rules. Other kids cut class without (much) penalty, so I began to do it too.

Returning to that first term at college. I was lonely, my classes were too difficult, and it all seemed not to be worth the money that my stepfather was paying for me to attend there. I asked to be let to come home, and start over fresh at the local junior college. My mom had begun taking classes at the junior college while I was away, and she was a "Straight-A Student", so I started out strong taking classes with her and she was the perfect study-buddy to help me get serious about studying. That enthusiasm lasted for two semesters. What happened on the side were events that completely derailed my way forward towards a normal life of success.

The old friends that I had in high school, well I began to hang out with them again. Some of them had also experienced spiritual awakenings during our early years of friendship together. Others had not. Some of them stuck to their faith. Others did not. (Why were there so many crossroads appearing for me to choose pathways to go down?) Somehow I gravitated towards spending time with the old friends that lost their faith. I think I was losing my faith too because of my failure at college. What I began doing with these particular friends was to drink alcohol and take drugs. This was not good. Not at all.

Within one year I had dropped out of junior college, taken on a job in a record store (bad influence), and became addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, and marijuana. My heart was broken, and I experienced one of the first major bouts of depression of my young life. I was still going to church meetings, I was still feeling the presence of Christ in my heart, but I was estranged as a member. No one that looked at me believed I was a serious Christian (long hair and looking/acting like a hippie). This is what led me to believe that I would never have a close friend or girlfriend here in this community. This is what led me to begin praying to God for an answer to my loneliness and how I began to imagine that perhaps I would need to leave this community to find someone different.

(I am feeling prompted to begin writing this story now because Aine's memorial service was held this morning, and the story of how she and I met, how I brought her to America, is basically unknown by most of the people that know her. I don't intend to share this with them, not yet at least, but let's see how far into it I get, and then decide later...)