spring blahh

 Not sure that I am ready to continue telling the story that I began yesterday. I said before that I don't want to tell it all thru blog posts, that it would be better suited in a long document being written... so I think that might be where my hesitancy is coming from... but I still feel a need to unburden myself of the frustration I experienced yesterday at Aine's memorial service. The other point worth mentioning is that if I tell the story of my life with her, I need to include the parts of the story where things went wrong. And who would that be for the benefit of? Perhaps the best thing is to just let it all be over and done with.

So what else is going on today, hmmm? It's the first day of spring, but as usual, it's not much different than any other day for me. I do not celebrate anything anymore. Ugh, now I'm starting to recognize that I have a thread of depression running underneath the surface of my veneer. And I don't want to start bellyaching about where all of that could be coming from. 

Yeh, I think I'll just end this entry here. I am proud of myself for writing every day this week. It does feel good. Oh, and I'm still not sure who all the people that are reading this blog are. I had one entry this week that had 17 views. I don't even KNOW 17 people. I know this blog is public to the whole world. Are people finding my writings via the labels I use? I've never cared in the past, not really, about this idea of anyone being able to read these entries, but as I age it is starting to bug me a little bit.