more March soul-madness...

 So tonight I took a chance and posted a question for Lorie Ladd to answer during her monthly, live Q&A on her Patreon channel. Fortunately, my question got enough votes from the community to boost it close to the top of the list and she took a good 15 minutes to reply. I posted a video of her answering my question on my Telegram channel.

The essence of my question was in regards to what is it possible for a person/soul to do when they feel like they've accomplished all that they have the energy to do in their lifetime. Is it possible to check in with your angel guides and ask them to help you finish up your life so that you can exit this mortal plane, sooner perhaps than what was originally planned? I'm not depressed, at least not enough to end my life on purpose. But this spinning of my wheels, for decades now, wondering what it is I'm supposed to be doing with my life... it's becoming old and I'm tired of never being able to figure this out.

Well, Lorie somehow happened to tap into something that made a lot of sense to me. She mentioned how there are some lightworkers whose purpose it is, is to channel/heal the collective energies of the masses... Light bulbs clicked on inside my head when I heard this. And I had memory flashbacks to when I was a very young man, 19 years old... when I used to hitchhike to get places... there would be times when I would be waiting for a ride, sometimes for a couple hours at a time... and I would get into a quasi-trance state, watching the streams of the population stream by me in their cars, and I would pray... not for a ride, but pray for them, for whatever it was they were dealing with in their lives... I would sit there and radiate out prayerful energy of love and hope to everyone, trying to elevate their consciousnesses so that they'd be safe and so that they could figure things out for themselves... THAT activity felt PURPOSEFUL to me. And I'd find at other random times of my life that I would slip into this same type of quasi-trance state where I felt a prayerful concern for masses of the human populace flow thru me... 

Never very consciously, not really... it would always just start to happen on its own... but now in retrospect, I find that I am still doing this, usually at night when I do my most powerful meditations of the day... I feel my consciousness plug into higher realms of understanding and I allow this energy to move thru me, for the purpose of helping the mass collective heal itself.

Honest, I've really been feeling lost lately. I do not live close enough to my son and his family to be able to directly assist them with living their lives, and they do not rely on me for assistance because of my financial status. This has been making me feel, like, well what's the purpose of my life? To continue this struggle of making a few bucks each month to pay off my own bills? I do have a twin-flame type soul mate in my life, my best friend, and I feel like I am of more assistance to help her live her life than I am for my own child's. That is enough of a calling for me to carry on, but still, as the world gets stranger and stranger with all the politically-driven changes that are moving towards stripping away our individual liberties, I wonder daily just how much more of this can I bear to witness.

So this new spark of insight that Lorie shared with me, I think it's what I've got to sink my teeth into now and see if I can derive some more sense of personal importance from it and begin to feel like my presence in this living body is worth the while of persisting to breathe. Stay tuned...