a sheen-tastic rant of gargantuan, diminishing proportions...
not sure where to start, where to start, not sure, start, where, not... too many things, bit of a manic flood of emotions; fatigue, desire, boredom, whiplash, cracked mirror, muddy footsteps, lost cat, lost cat, lost cat... too many voices in my ears but none of them are saying anything that grabs me. it's all a buzz of whispers, crisp yet faint, misunderstanding what should have been said in exactitude. the moon is shining brightly, full somewhere in the spacedom tonight, but it's shine is sterile because the moon is dead vacant. there is no light in the moon. it's all a myth. our whole perception of reality is nothing more than myths that can't even blow in the wind because there is no air on the surface of the frozen moon. what good is that? we love to look at the moon, but she is nothing more than a frigid bitch.
anyway, something pissed me off yesterday but it took until today to really fester and come up with a reason to want to rant. i really hate the comodification of art. in particular, two things irk my stomach to vomit. watermarking of photographs and the phrase "available as prints/suitable for framing". i will never watermark my photographs. when i see a watermarked photograph in Flickr i won't even pause to consider how beautiful the image may truly be. i immediately pass by it, and most like the photographer, not to return again. it's ego. to me, it's self love. it's desperate and it's a cry for attention. god, i feel so much tension about this aspect of art ttht ican't even type freely what i'm thinking in a cohesive flow of ideas.ts
it makes me want to go further into hiding and anonymity. i don't want to sell those things i do with my camera. i mean, i did - thats why i made the books that i did, but it's not why i use my camera. i use my camera because i'm trying to get something out of my heart that pains me.
i'm going to pray tonight before i go to bed to become enraged with a new, revolutionary idea and attitude towards art. to make it nameless and faceless. i thought earlier today, "let my work be known by reputation...". let people see a photograph of a woman in a cemetery and say to themselves, "oh, that must be a darko." but now i'm thinking that i don't even want to have a name. or a face. or a trait. let it just be that these images appeared... from the earth. from graves. a myth. they are spirit. they are free. copy them and do with them what you will...
makes me want to change my whole attitude on flickr too. i've kept everything locked up, so that you cannot download my images. that was originally to protect "my art", and also the rights of the girls. so i stand at a crossroads. either make it all free to the world, or hide it all from the world. i don't put my photos on facebook to get clicked by "LIKES". i'd almost rather that people said something negative so that i could find a new vigor in what i'm doing.
i don't know. like i said at the beginning. mixture of rant-ness tonight. fatigue being one of them. being so lonely makes you sick of wanting to have someone to talk to, to the point that if you actually find someone to talk to, you don't know what to say.
i'm frustrated too that just a month ago i was so full of intent to write and write and write and read-read-read, and that i've rubber-banded right back into my oldworld behaviors. i'm a vision and sound freak. all i do is listen to music and watch movies. i make pictures, but so what. anyone can do that.
yeah, i'm going to have to turn off the facebook again soon. according to the clock, winter is almost over and the eternal brightness will be thrust upon us once again. i have so little time left to enjoy the cold and the wet. if i don't answer the phone when you call, it's not you, it's me.
anyway, something pissed me off yesterday but it took until today to really fester and come up with a reason to want to rant. i really hate the comodification of art. in particular, two things irk my stomach to vomit. watermarking of photographs and the phrase "available as prints/suitable for framing". i will never watermark my photographs. when i see a watermarked photograph in Flickr i won't even pause to consider how beautiful the image may truly be. i immediately pass by it, and most like the photographer, not to return again. it's ego. to me, it's self love. it's desperate and it's a cry for attention. god, i feel so much tension about this aspect of art ttht ican't even type freely what i'm thinking in a cohesive flow of ideas.ts
it makes me want to go further into hiding and anonymity. i don't want to sell those things i do with my camera. i mean, i did - thats why i made the books that i did, but it's not why i use my camera. i use my camera because i'm trying to get something out of my heart that pains me.
i'm going to pray tonight before i go to bed to become enraged with a new, revolutionary idea and attitude towards art. to make it nameless and faceless. i thought earlier today, "let my work be known by reputation...". let people see a photograph of a woman in a cemetery and say to themselves, "oh, that must be a darko." but now i'm thinking that i don't even want to have a name. or a face. or a trait. let it just be that these images appeared... from the earth. from graves. a myth. they are spirit. they are free. copy them and do with them what you will...
makes me want to change my whole attitude on flickr too. i've kept everything locked up, so that you cannot download my images. that was originally to protect "my art", and also the rights of the girls. so i stand at a crossroads. either make it all free to the world, or hide it all from the world. i don't put my photos on facebook to get clicked by "LIKES". i'd almost rather that people said something negative so that i could find a new vigor in what i'm doing.
i don't know. like i said at the beginning. mixture of rant-ness tonight. fatigue being one of them. being so lonely makes you sick of wanting to have someone to talk to, to the point that if you actually find someone to talk to, you don't know what to say.
i'm frustrated too that just a month ago i was so full of intent to write and write and write and read-read-read, and that i've rubber-banded right back into my oldworld behaviors. i'm a vision and sound freak. all i do is listen to music and watch movies. i make pictures, but so what. anyone can do that.
yeah, i'm going to have to turn off the facebook again soon. according to the clock, winter is almost over and the eternal brightness will be thrust upon us once again. i have so little time left to enjoy the cold and the wet. if i don't answer the phone when you call, it's not you, it's me.
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