Baudelaire, Bjork, & Block...
i did not have much determination stirred up to make today, Valentine's Day a miserable experience for myself. i am not in any sort of fresh heartbreak that could malaise up my day, and really, if it weren't for the inept platitudes that shallow minded Facebookers float out wishing every one of their contacts happiness today, i might have entirely forgotten that today was February 14th.
fact is, i am a lover. i thrive on romance, whether it is my own or simply a lust for romance. and by my own i mainly refer to past experiences where i've felt affectations for another human. currently i am devoid of any emotions for any other physical being that lives in my realm of reality. a year ago, this wasn't so much the truth.
last year i lusted for romance with a writer. long story and if you are a longtime reader of my blog, you probably know that i had "a thing" for Francesca Lia Block. i could write my own romance novel about all of the things that happened (and did not happen) between us. and this is what i love about romance. it doesn't have to be a physical thing. it is ephemeral. it is "in the air". it is a look. a breath. a thought. i may in fact feel inspired enough to write a story about my experience with her.
i had a romantic idea for today. i thought of going to Safeway and buying a dozen carnations to carry around with me (i'm on foot in town today) and give one to each woman i came upon. there is still time. i may still do it.
and then i turned to mog.com after i got out of bed and stumbled upon an editors choice recommendation of an album by Bjork. i had not heard her voice in a really long time and clicked on it. instantly i felt a new muse enter into and spark my heart space. she is a magician of epic proportions and today at least, parallel's FLB's ability to stir my own creative instincts. i'm going to listen to as much of her today as i can and see where it takes me.
i think VD is a good time to reflect on loves past and to be grateful for ever being able to experience feelings of love. surely, there are poor souls in the huge wide world that have suffered less love than i've had, so i am glad for every little ounce of abandon i've been able to experience in my heart and mind in the company of another being. love is a precious thing and those of you that are feeling it, be glad, but don't fear it's death. it never goes away. not entirely. it only bites when you think you don't have it. and it bites worse when you think that it does not exist within yourself. that is the key, to understand that love comes from you, not from others.
so my reference to Baudelaire, well, i think he was a man scorned. an epitome of "crushed man". i don't know enough about him or his life for that to be a fair summation but until i read some more of his poetry, which is the plan today. to read him and to read some more Block, i will try to balance the energies of heartbreak and fulfillment as a yin and yang in my own mind. and then tonight, i'll be watching my fav romance film of all time; 13 GOING ON 30.
fact is, i am a lover. i thrive on romance, whether it is my own or simply a lust for romance. and by my own i mainly refer to past experiences where i've felt affectations for another human. currently i am devoid of any emotions for any other physical being that lives in my realm of reality. a year ago, this wasn't so much the truth.
last year i lusted for romance with a writer. long story and if you are a longtime reader of my blog, you probably know that i had "a thing" for Francesca Lia Block. i could write my own romance novel about all of the things that happened (and did not happen) between us. and this is what i love about romance. it doesn't have to be a physical thing. it is ephemeral. it is "in the air". it is a look. a breath. a thought. i may in fact feel inspired enough to write a story about my experience with her.
i had a romantic idea for today. i thought of going to Safeway and buying a dozen carnations to carry around with me (i'm on foot in town today) and give one to each woman i came upon. there is still time. i may still do it.
and then i turned to mog.com after i got out of bed and stumbled upon an editors choice recommendation of an album by Bjork. i had not heard her voice in a really long time and clicked on it. instantly i felt a new muse enter into and spark my heart space. she is a magician of epic proportions and today at least, parallel's FLB's ability to stir my own creative instincts. i'm going to listen to as much of her today as i can and see where it takes me.
i think VD is a good time to reflect on loves past and to be grateful for ever being able to experience feelings of love. surely, there are poor souls in the huge wide world that have suffered less love than i've had, so i am glad for every little ounce of abandon i've been able to experience in my heart and mind in the company of another being. love is a precious thing and those of you that are feeling it, be glad, but don't fear it's death. it never goes away. not entirely. it only bites when you think you don't have it. and it bites worse when you think that it does not exist within yourself. that is the key, to understand that love comes from you, not from others.
so my reference to Baudelaire, well, i think he was a man scorned. an epitome of "crushed man". i don't know enough about him or his life for that to be a fair summation but until i read some more of his poetry, which is the plan today. to read him and to read some more Block, i will try to balance the energies of heartbreak and fulfillment as a yin and yang in my own mind. and then tonight, i'll be watching my fav romance film of all time; 13 GOING ON 30.
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