to abstain, perchance to dream...
i didn't take any ambien last night and fell asleep, as usual of late, around 3:30am. i woke up 4 hours later, got out of bed for about 5-6 hours then laid back down when the Giants game came on tv. fell back asleep and had the following dream. i met this woman that i took library classes with last autumn, somewhere, and she asked me to take her to see the baseball game. the game was in San Diego and it seemed that we only needed to drive a short distance to get there. last November when i first started shooting photos again, this woman, her name is Jenna was the first person i asked to model for me. she played real coy with me but in the end never agreed to let me take photos of her. in the dream i had my camera with me. inside the arena she led the way to the lower level so that we could be closer to the players on the field. i took my camera out and took a couple of photos of her while she wasn't looking. she did notice though and glared at me with a mean expression. the dream faded at that point and i awoke to see that Barry Bonds was at bat. i didn't care though.
my theory worked! stop the ambien and dream! i've been watching a lot of films recently - to try to spark some visual creativity for writing a screenplay. well, i watched two films this weekend that had to do with the use of drugs. neither movie portrays drug use, recreational or therapeutic in positive manners. one of the films i saw last year when it was released and wrote a lot about in my blog; A SCANNER DARKLY. the other film, i am watching the end of right now, THE CHUMSCRUBBER. (actually, one thing that is really amazing is that my public library carries these films... i mean, i'm glad they do but they are "R" rated films and there is no restriction about who can check them out.)
i don't want to write reviews about the films (you can find those yourself) but there is some synchronicity in their dealings with anti-drug messages, increased alienation/isolation, paranoia, suicide, and how these are matters that i have been discussing with myself in my decision making to stop. i guess that is all for now.
my theory worked! stop the ambien and dream! i've been watching a lot of films recently - to try to spark some visual creativity for writing a screenplay. well, i watched two films this weekend that had to do with the use of drugs. neither movie portrays drug use, recreational or therapeutic in positive manners. one of the films i saw last year when it was released and wrote a lot about in my blog; A SCANNER DARKLY. the other film, i am watching the end of right now, THE CHUMSCRUBBER. (actually, one thing that is really amazing is that my public library carries these films... i mean, i'm glad they do but they are "R" rated films and there is no restriction about who can check them out.)
i don't want to write reviews about the films (you can find those yourself) but there is some synchronicity in their dealings with anti-drug messages, increased alienation/isolation, paranoia, suicide, and how these are matters that i have been discussing with myself in my decision making to stop. i guess that is all for now.
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