death of the muse
A major phase of my life is in the process of ending. 10 years ago I got a notion in my head that I wanted to have a relationship with a muse. And I made it happen. I didn't find a muse that would engage romantically with me, which was probably the rules I had set for my experiences in this lifetime, but I found one that allowed me to grow extremely close to her - we were hard-fought and hard-won best friends, but there were also a LOT of forces fighting against us being able to have anything at all together.
I had other muses over this past 10 years too, but none of them grew as magnificently in scope like this one particular one did. The others were chance and random encounters, many of which I spent only an hour or two with, and many of them have remained in my life as distant friends.
What I'm talking about though is the death of my need for a muse. The lessons I've learned from this one youthful spirit being in my life have been such unexpected blessings to me. I feel like I've exhausted all need for another relationship like this. Which is really great!! I've known that my life this time around was to be about spiritual accomplishment, and when lessons are learned, I rarely need to reexperience the things I went thru that one time. Which is really, really, REALY great.
Now that this relationship with this muse has ended, I do not feel the need to go out searching for someone to replace her. You can't imagine how liberated I feel about this. This is not to say that it is impossible that someone new might slip into my life, but the thing I know is that no matter how hard I would go out searching for a new one, I would not find one. I'd only end up disillusioned and saddened by the process.
Yes, now I'm going to be elevated to a higher level of experience of having relationships in this world. More connecting with spiritual beings than with humans. It makes me feel a little bit sad saying this, because human connection is so important for a healthy life on this planet. I am a better person after this time I had with "my muse" but I'm only going to allow another person to get close enough to me to be able to experience who and what I am if they are an exacting fit for me. I am not going to find this sort of person on the Internets. They will have to find and meet me in a unique and peculiar moment of synchronicity. My meditation practices are what will make me become able to be recognizable to them.
Finding a new muse is not my goal, my desire, my need anymore though. I thank the gods for elevating my consciousness to such high states of being that I can state this freely and clearly. What this opens up for me is the ability to become my own muse, to develop the muse within myself, and to be a muse to the world. Good times ahead, full steam ahead!!
I might touch in on this topic more later, but for now I feel free, fresh and clear. It's weird becuase before I started to write this I suspected that I would have honed in more on the possible aspects of loneliness or depression that could ensue. Mabye putting my mind to the task of saying something, anything about this helped me close the book on it. So be it!
I had other muses over this past 10 years too, but none of them grew as magnificently in scope like this one particular one did. The others were chance and random encounters, many of which I spent only an hour or two with, and many of them have remained in my life as distant friends.
What I'm talking about though is the death of my need for a muse. The lessons I've learned from this one youthful spirit being in my life have been such unexpected blessings to me. I feel like I've exhausted all need for another relationship like this. Which is really great!! I've known that my life this time around was to be about spiritual accomplishment, and when lessons are learned, I rarely need to reexperience the things I went thru that one time. Which is really, really, REALY great.
Now that this relationship with this muse has ended, I do not feel the need to go out searching for someone to replace her. You can't imagine how liberated I feel about this. This is not to say that it is impossible that someone new might slip into my life, but the thing I know is that no matter how hard I would go out searching for a new one, I would not find one. I'd only end up disillusioned and saddened by the process.
Yes, now I'm going to be elevated to a higher level of experience of having relationships in this world. More connecting with spiritual beings than with humans. It makes me feel a little bit sad saying this, because human connection is so important for a healthy life on this planet. I am a better person after this time I had with "my muse" but I'm only going to allow another person to get close enough to me to be able to experience who and what I am if they are an exacting fit for me. I am not going to find this sort of person on the Internets. They will have to find and meet me in a unique and peculiar moment of synchronicity. My meditation practices are what will make me become able to be recognizable to them.
Finding a new muse is not my goal, my desire, my need anymore though. I thank the gods for elevating my consciousness to such high states of being that I can state this freely and clearly. What this opens up for me is the ability to become my own muse, to develop the muse within myself, and to be a muse to the world. Good times ahead, full steam ahead!!
I might touch in on this topic more later, but for now I feel free, fresh and clear. It's weird becuase before I started to write this I suspected that I would have honed in more on the possible aspects of loneliness or depression that could ensue. Mabye putting my mind to the task of saying something, anything about this helped me close the book on it. So be it!
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