murky dream waters flood my days...

i don't want to dream all day but i don't mind my days being dream-like. what i do mind is that my days are murky and sludge-like and i can't seem to move through my hours with the fluidity that i'd like to. i want to, no, need to be able to swim through the seas of my days like a powerful and free being unencumbered by the distractions of physical ennui that make it difficult for me to do all the things that my mind is so horny to do. i want to rape the days that i have left to live but many days i feel tied up in the sheets that i lay down in and cannot unravel enough awareness and clarity of mind to be able to get enough blood flowing through my veins to electrify a strong enough hard on to even feel attractive enough to lure a day or life to have a romantic encounter with me.

i really feel like i need to cause an earthquake, or a typhoon. i have enough pent up emotions inside of me to storm and shake earth and sky but my days are shadowy and i don't see the light of day until the sun sets. i awake when everyone else lays down to sleep... and then its too late to get any work done. the cafes close. and i can't dance in my house because the souls of babes are trying to sleep. i need a woman to take control of my days. someone to crack my spine. someone to chase me in the hills. someone to make me feel like waking up at the crack of dawn just so that i can have radical earth quaking typhoon blowing sex with her with my morning wood. i deserve that one last time in my life. don't i? dying man's last wish? or should i just go on settling for the rubbery pancakes and instant coffee at Denny's.

someone, please... slap me awake!!