daryl of arc…? daryl d’arc, oh my~
in the 70’s a lot of young people talked to God and weren't afraid to admit it. i used to lead prayer meetings before school, at lunch time, after school. in fact, i used to cut class to sit in the quad to read the bible with other kids that believed. to me, it was a serious thing, to be a believer. i based my life on it. my belief in God was the most important thing in my life and i risked graduating from high school on my radical belief-havior.
watching Joan of Arcadia brings back so many memories for me of how i used to behave and believe back then, but it makes me sad in my heart because today someone who acts like i did back then is considered to be crazy. sure, they thought i was crazy back then too. they used to call me names but i also had respect because i stood up for what i believed in. today when someone thinks you do anything that warrants the label “crazy” they immediately send you to a therapist and medicate you. plus, people become afraid of you. they don’t want to upset you so they no longer tell you the truth.
people are afraid that you’ll hurt yourself, or someone else. and no one knows how deeply involved we all become with complete strangers on the internets. i have better friendships with total strangers that i have never met in person, via the internets, than i do with real human beings that live on my own street and in my own town.
if the truth of the depth of my conversations with God, then and now, were known by the authorities, i too would be subject to shut down. well, if i were brave enough to raise an army. back then we had a cause. today no one i know cares enough to fight to the end. and crazy is scary. and fun. an escape. a lie. a cop out. real crazy takes balls. it means you’ll die for what you believe. it’s hard to feel that strongly about anything anymore. makes me think the lone path, where you can find the ability to talk out loud to -=God=- is your ticket to freedom.
Comments
As someone that knew you when you have referenced..... I never considered you crazy but absolutely passionate..passionate for Jesus as I was passionate to move on to another reality...I too risked everything , I too realized that I really couldn't talk to anyone that felt as I did. I was afraid. My truth could hurt many, could destroy families. I stood up for what I knew to be right. But I remained silent, I had my own silent army. I knew there were those that felt that they could listen.. could help...but I didn't trust with the biggest secret that I held..But the funny thing is the longer I held on to my truth..alone.. the stronger I became , the wiser I became. No one would be the wiser, until I had the strength to tell someone, anyone, everyone. And you know I then found out that my secret was the same as a lot of strangers, a lot of friends. Everyone has a battle , a demon, but how we choose to deal with it is what forms our adult core. It either strengthens you or weakens you. It either makes you strong or makes you vulnerable...you choose...ultimately, you choose.
Who you choose to share your life's journey depends on you inner confidence.Sharing with a friend makes you viulnerable to loosing what you hold dear. Sharing with a stranger is a safe choice...you can choose to disconnect from internet friends...only partial sharing is really capablenthere. Words can be typed, but human contact is the ultimate vulnerability. A friend that you have never hugged, a friend that you have never stared into their eyes, a friend that you have never seen the tears fall or seen the laughter lines as they showed joy, is a friend half known.
Everyone dies with what they believe to be true. Everyone dies alone. Everyone dies someone's friend. XO