when you don't have a lover, fake it!

I had a very nice Valentine's Day yesterday, and I hope that you did too. My Valentine was not real though. By that I do not mean that "she" was not a real person, she is, but she is not "my love". In fact, yesterday was the first time we had ever met each other in person.

Was what we did yesterday even legitimately able to be considered a "date"? I'm not sure. Since it was Valentine's Day and neither of us had loves to spend the day with we dedicated the day to "new friendship". Well, and also to art.

I met Julia through the intrepid website Hot or Not, which I joined a number of years ago as a morale boosting endeavor. You all remember how depressed and out of sorts I used to be, right? Well, anyway I've met two people via Hot or Not, in person. One of which was a short lived but very, very good friend; my model Mojo. Things with Mojo fell apart because of the fact that she kept giving me mixed signals about what she wanted to experience with me, but was unable to because of her commitment to her boyfriend. And I'm not talking about physical intimacy, but that she wanted to model for me more. Her boyfriends jealousy was too dangerous of an issue to deal with.

What will develop between Julia and myself looks only to be a professional friendship. We are discussing creating a graphic novel version of my novel; a preview of what the novel will be in zine form. See, she is an extremely talented comic book artist.

Anyway, we spent yesterday afternoon together doing a "Cemetery Girl" photo shoot together in Vallejo and Benicia. A few of her photos are on display now and more will appear over the weekend. Our connection has been speedy. We only spoke on the phone for a short time before we agreed to meet the next day. Alas, she currently lives very far away from me, and it is only going to get worse; she is moving to Tahoe next week. Could we even realistically become more intimate friends were these difficulties non-existent? I like to think so, but the fact that there is a 30 year age gap between us would make many others think no. Who knows what is possible in this modern world, though. Right?

Maybe next Valentine's Day I'll have burnt through more of this separation and loneliness karma and will find someone more suitable to get closer to.