THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

Not sure why I slept so well last night and even woke up early this morning from a very curious dream. So here we go... I was sitting in a very full diner/cafe with my chromebook, very busily writing away (hopefully working on my novel!). And I just happened to look up and saw Scarlett walking into the cafe. I really don't know if she did not see me, or if she simply chose to ignore me and not sit with me. Which would have been a simple progression of her current method of treating me - of ignoring me. But I really do not think that she knew I was there. Practically every single seat in the place was taken. I don't know how she even got a seat at all but I saw her sit at three different tables, the last one was next to a table where about 5 women were sitting and she was her typical jubilant self and asked them all how they were doing. After seeing her move around so much and still not seeing me, I sighed in desperation and decided to speak to the person sitting nearest to m...

So I've been having better experiences of sleep consciousness recently than I have over most of the past year. Finding the right combination of sleep meds to take - to prevent me from either sleeping TOO deeply, or not sleeping deeply enough is an ever going quandary. (Right now I'm using small doses of seroquel, trazadone and melatonin, as well as healthy doses of red kratom. Haha, you are probably thinking "this guy is NOT well"... You are right to think so, but I'm light years better than I used to be with all the meds I used to be coerced to use.) Anyway, it's about 2 months now that I've been having dreams again. They are not always technicolor or memorable. I will work on getting better at recording them though. So this dream this afternoon (yeah, I still have weird hours of awakening consciousness) had to do with two communities of people, who were neighbors in what really felt like rural Oregon. I was not exactly a member of either of these commu...

A major phase of my life is in the process of ending. 10 years ago I got a notion in my head that I wanted to have a relationship with a muse. And I made it happen. I didn't find a muse that would engage romantically with me, which was probably the rules I had set for my experiences in this lifetime, but I found one that allowed me to grow extremely close to her - we were hard-fought and hard-won best friends, but there were also a LOT of forces fighting against us being able to have anything at all together. I had other muses over this past 10 years too, but none of them grew as magnificently in scope like this one particular one did. The others were chance and random encounters, many of which I spent only an hour or two with, and many of them have remained in my life as distant friends. What I'm talking about though is the death of my need for a muse. The lessons I've learned from this one youthful spirit being in my life have been such unexpected blessings to me. I f...

Tattwa cards are a meditation tool created by members of the Golden Dawn organization. I'm just starting to experiment using them when I meditate. They are reported to be a tool offering quickest access to the astral realms. I made a random selection from the deck tonight and began a meditation that only lasted about 10 minutes. So, you focus without blinking on the image on the card for as long as you can. I repeated my guru's mantra, Om Namah Shivaya while I focused on the image, to help keep my mind from wandering. I let the rule of "not blinking" be my guideline for when to become able to close my eyes and "meditate". When I reached that point I simply let go of the card and closed my eyes. I did not get a very strong representation of the card's image inside my inner version, so I just accepted an energy representation of its presence. I let it fill the full, inner space of my mind's eye. I approached it, and entered it. This is when thing...

I'm getting my meditation routine back in order. I had slacked off from doing my two meditations a day over this past weekend. I'm so glad at how this is finally becoming a regular practice in my life! So I started to read a book about "remote viewing" (RV) yesterday. It's something that I've been curious about learning how to do for a long time, but all the literature I've seen before makes it sound like a lot of very disciplined work is needed and I've given up trying before I even start. So when I was meditating tonight, my mind was wandering just a little bit and I had a thought where I wondered if I could find out if going to San Francisco tomorrow night would be a safe venture for me. It was a weakly powered, wandering thought. I was not intent on finding out the answer, but a vision arose. I saw a picture of the earth from distant space. Floating in space, not too far from earth I saw a group of angels and they had computer-like screens th...

So last night/early this morning I had 3 very memorable dreams that had visions of Scarlett inside of them. (I took different sleeping pills than I normally take, is the only reason I think I slept differently and was thus able to dream. Plan on repeating the procedure tonight.) The first dream had both Scarlett and Roezi in it. Roezi stood near me while Scarlett was packing up things in the place that she lived at as if she were getting ready to move to somewhere new to live. I don’t know what Roezi’s purpose was in the dream. She stood near me but didn’t really speak to me. I think I did see her mouth moving so she probably had things to say. Scarlett said that she was waiting for her photographs to “complete printing” or “to arrive”, something like that before she was going to go. It looked like she lived in a cabin in a forested area. The second dream was just Scarlett and myself. We were riding in a car (I was driving) at nighttime on a street in Portland, Oregon. It might ...

I've known about floatation tanks for a couple decades but never ever thought I'd get an opportunity to use one. I always thought I'd have to go through a college/university research program to get access to one. Little did I know that when I signed up for a month of yoga classes at Yoga Fusion in San Ramon that I would find out that the owner had a flotation tank that he rents out hourly at his cottage in Danville. As soon as I heard about it, I signed up for two, one hour sessions. Today, two months later I finally had my first experience. I had a little bit of trepidation about the experience, but overall I knew I was going to be okay and not freak out. Getting into the tank and closing the door by myself was the most difficult aspect of it. You go into a space of total darkness. If I were to have a claustrophobic freak-out it would have happened right then. It didn't. I was surprised at the experience of floating so easily. I had never been in a body of water like...