a million things to think about, but let's narrow it down to a dozen hundred...

 Today is the first day of the current Mercury Retrograde, and I must say, the turmoil attributed to this holiday has lost its sting in my life. Whatever the universe wants to toss into my court, I'm ready for it. Although, true to MercRetro's characteristics I was awoken by 3 different people trying to baffle me with confusing communications... haha, so classic, but I just breathed my way thru it all and rode that bronco like a champ.

On my walk here to Starbucks, I listened to Lorie Ladd's weekly communication where she's revealing more personal stories about her life. The first thing she's talking about is the loneliness that she's experiencing. I feel her struggle, but I no longer suffer from that. Loneliness, that demonic creature used to torment me terribly. I spent decades in the throes of wrestling with it and it sucked so much inherent joy from my life. I never thought that struggle would end. But it did. Lorie's struggle is almost laughable to me because of the personal power she has come to wield in being one who is capable of manufacturing whatever it is in her life that she desires. She's at the stage where she wants to manifest a perfect relationship for herself. I don't blame her. If I were ever to partake in a relationship again I'd want mine to be a perfect fit too. 

She wants her match. So do I. She has the ability to really go shopping, and she in fact did over the past year. She tried out quite a few other different men in the community of spiritual teachers that she's a member of. There was even one guy who many thought was the one she was going to settle with, but she didn't. She hasn't shared yet why that guy wasn't the one... which doesn't matter to me, but my point is, that she knew he was not the exact fit. I would want to have my exact fit too.

The loneliness that she's experiencing now is from having a lack of people/person to spend time with doing things. I was there until I met Scarlett. Scarlett became my compatriot and we discovered that we were able to do so many things together that suited us both as cures to loneliness. We were not destined to be more than just super close best friends. I imagined that she could have been more for me, but she didn't share that same imagination. That opened a gaping wound in my heart of wishing that there could be someone that would be a complete "mate" for me, but as I spent more time with Scarlett as just best friends, I found more and more that I am content not having a person in my life to give more of myself to. That gaping wound healed itself and I've become more at peace with just living my life with myself than I've ever imagined possible.

For as wise as Lorie is, I can tell that she's not at this point yet. I also give much gratitude to Gurumayi for the teachings she ingrained in me about learning and experiencing that I am complete, as is, God dwells in me and I do not lack anything. It's the mind and its thoughts that torment us into believing that we are incomplete beings that need to be fulfilled by another half. Life is so much easier living it on your own with God!! So I hope that Lorie will be able to one day come to this realization and that she won't spend untold lengths of time yearning for something she doesn't really need. Don't get me wrong, there are people that are at evolutionary stages of their soul's development that really do need to experience the bliss and beauty of being fulfilled by love for another person... I'm just glad, for my own sake, that I've gotten thru the painful stages of yearning for that when it's not something that can or will happen...

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Okay, the other thing happening over the past few days, is I took a class of Lorie's where she teaches how to travel in the astral plane. This I something that I've tried to learn how to do since I was a teenager. And I do know that I've had some bouts of success doing it over the years... but it wasn't until I took this class of her's that I found a method that really does match my skills now as a meditator and psychic healer. There were just a couple of steps missing from the methods I've used in the past that Lorie taught me in this course, that are now making a huge and powerful difference in my experiences of astral traveling and bilocating. The way this is affecting my ability to do distance Reiki healings for others is kinda blowing my mind. I'm considering keeping a journal of the astral journeys I make, but so far the experiences have been moving me so strongly emotionally, I can't find the unction to sit down and write what's happening. I'll try to get more serious about doing this, and possibly share some of the experiences here....   Okay, I'll let this be all for now!!