dedicated to someone unseen...
an interesting thing happened this morning. something that i did not expect to happen the way it did. i thought i was going to get upset. but when the doing actually unfolded something sweet came from my heart, and well, it's sort of changed the entire direction of what i'm going to do with my next photo book.
i photographed a woman about 50 weeks ago. she's supposed to be the very first person, sequence-wise in my new Cemetery People book. thing is, she doesn't want her photographs to be seen. i'm really not sure why, either.
she signed one of my model release forms before we started her shoot, so she knew what my intent was. to display the photographs publicly on Flickr. and she also knew that i was getting ready to publish a book. she should have been the last model displayed in last year's Cemetery Girl's photo book.
at that time, she gave me the excuse that she had just arrived home from travelling and did not have time to answer the interview questions i gave everyone else. truth be told, she had two weeks to answer those questions just like everyone else did. the secret truth of this entire matter, and what she is too afraid to admit to me is that she does not like the photographs that i took of her.
i've suspected this all along but i don't really understand it. i think the photographs are really good. for what i had to work with, and this is where the story takes a deeper, more interesting turn, i, as usual, spun gold from wool. she phoned me early in the morning and said that she was friends of someone that i had just recently photographed in L.A. and that she was visiting Berkeley for a couple of days. was i available? would i be interested in photographing her? within three hours i was on the corner of Shattuck and Durant to pick her up.
now maybe this was the failing point in her preparation for the shoot. maybe she never even looked at my photography before but was going fully on the verbal reputation her friend had expressed to her. "this guy is a great photographer and fun to do a shoot with. won't display your photos if you don't want him to." well, THAT caveat was something that got a little out of hand and will take another story to explain.
but she came dressed in jeans, flip flops, and a skimpy tank top - despite the fact that it was an overcast July afternoon. she was in no way at all prepared fashion-wise the way models normally come to my shoots. i pretty much accepted the request to do the shoot with her because of "who" she was friends with, and, again, i can spin gold from wool with practically anyone that i photograph. i knew i'd get photographs that i could use for my Cemetery Girl project.
on top of all that, the other thing that she had going for herself, in my books at least, was that she was tall and a redhead! i digress...
blah, blah, blah, yeah, yeah, yeah... the end result is i got photographs that moved me, emotionally. inspired visions. as always. but more than that, and i see it today more clearly than i have in the entirety of the past 50 weeks, i had an intimate experience of sharing 3 hours with a total stranger. the things we talked about, the ideas we explored, our quest for art... THAT is what my life is about now. these short experiences with people where we go out together with an intent to express (and capture) some of the hidden, inner expressions of our souls, together... THAT is i achieve in this project.
the photographic images are just a record of the interaction that the model and i give birth to in the short moments that we meet as strangers... possibly never to meet again. most times i stay in contact with these people. at least electronically. usually never more than short messages online... no deep, complex friendships that have led to sleeping together or spending loads of money have developed. just a soul connection. a heart link. a fondness... because something worthwhile was birthed from the energy we exerted together.
haha, except this 50 week old model does not think so. she's not pleased with the art i created of her. and she does not want her images to be seen. as a respectful, friendly person, i am not going to do something that will cause karmic waves between us and go against her will... but i may just go ahead and write out and tell the story of our experience of that day and put THAT into the book! i just won't use any names...
i photographed a woman about 50 weeks ago. she's supposed to be the very first person, sequence-wise in my new Cemetery People book. thing is, she doesn't want her photographs to be seen. i'm really not sure why, either.
she signed one of my model release forms before we started her shoot, so she knew what my intent was. to display the photographs publicly on Flickr. and she also knew that i was getting ready to publish a book. she should have been the last model displayed in last year's Cemetery Girl's photo book.
at that time, she gave me the excuse that she had just arrived home from travelling and did not have time to answer the interview questions i gave everyone else. truth be told, she had two weeks to answer those questions just like everyone else did. the secret truth of this entire matter, and what she is too afraid to admit to me is that she does not like the photographs that i took of her.
i've suspected this all along but i don't really understand it. i think the photographs are really good. for what i had to work with, and this is where the story takes a deeper, more interesting turn, i, as usual, spun gold from wool. she phoned me early in the morning and said that she was friends of someone that i had just recently photographed in L.A. and that she was visiting Berkeley for a couple of days. was i available? would i be interested in photographing her? within three hours i was on the corner of Shattuck and Durant to pick her up.
now maybe this was the failing point in her preparation for the shoot. maybe she never even looked at my photography before but was going fully on the verbal reputation her friend had expressed to her. "this guy is a great photographer and fun to do a shoot with. won't display your photos if you don't want him to." well, THAT caveat was something that got a little out of hand and will take another story to explain.
but she came dressed in jeans, flip flops, and a skimpy tank top - despite the fact that it was an overcast July afternoon. she was in no way at all prepared fashion-wise the way models normally come to my shoots. i pretty much accepted the request to do the shoot with her because of "who" she was friends with, and, again, i can spin gold from wool with practically anyone that i photograph. i knew i'd get photographs that i could use for my Cemetery Girl project.
on top of all that, the other thing that she had going for herself, in my books at least, was that she was tall and a redhead! i digress...
blah, blah, blah, yeah, yeah, yeah... the end result is i got photographs that moved me, emotionally. inspired visions. as always. but more than that, and i see it today more clearly than i have in the entirety of the past 50 weeks, i had an intimate experience of sharing 3 hours with a total stranger. the things we talked about, the ideas we explored, our quest for art... THAT is what my life is about now. these short experiences with people where we go out together with an intent to express (and capture) some of the hidden, inner expressions of our souls, together... THAT is i achieve in this project.
the photographic images are just a record of the interaction that the model and i give birth to in the short moments that we meet as strangers... possibly never to meet again. most times i stay in contact with these people. at least electronically. usually never more than short messages online... no deep, complex friendships that have led to sleeping together or spending loads of money have developed. just a soul connection. a heart link. a fondness... because something worthwhile was birthed from the energy we exerted together.
haha, except this 50 week old model does not think so. she's not pleased with the art i created of her. and she does not want her images to be seen. as a respectful, friendly person, i am not going to do something that will cause karmic waves between us and go against her will... but i may just go ahead and write out and tell the story of our experience of that day and put THAT into the book! i just won't use any names...
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