update from the tombs...
ookay, i haven't written to you in awhile so i know you are dying to know what is going on with me. i've been laying low... :) it's two weeks+ now since i've been to the college so a lot of the angst i had been feeling since i last posted has died down. the heartbreak is over, but i am sorely missing the socialization that i got so much joy from. i have slid right back into my very normal mode/condition of just hanging out with myself. at first this scared me and added to the angst i was feeling over the whole heartbreak/failure scenario but now it just feels like my normal old life that i can't do all that much to change until the stars and fates and muses are in my favor again. right?
my energy (physical/psychic) has really been messed up lately and i'm not entirely sure why, other than blaming it on the fact that i AM depressed. for the past 10 days i've been staying up until 4 or 5 am and sleeping till around noon, although today i didn't wake up till 1:30. there is one new medication that i started to take because i was experiencing numbness in my left hand. (my GP prescribed it - and i think it has increased a need to sleep more because many days i'll wake up early but then fall back asleep for a 3 hour nap.) today i decided NOT to take it to see if this correlation was true. and so far, no falling back asleep, but the numbness has come right back.
i made a phone call today to a Dr. Woodrow (symbolic because i went to Woodrow Wilson elementary school and a friend that i've known since kindergarten, Jan Wilson, well i just found out that her mother died), a psychiatrist that accepts Medi-Cal/Medi-Care to see if he is taking new patients. i fear that my health is in danger with my current p-doc. he just doesn't care. oh, and get this. to get this new doctor's name i phoned my previous p-doc, Dr. Simkovic - who was my doctor over 3 years ago. she returned my phone call the very next day. Dr. Dinaburg, current p-doc NEVER returns my phone calls unless i sincerely convince him that i'm dying. so pray for me that Dr. Woodrow is accepting new patients.
i spent $156 on eBay on some new photographic equipment this week. one of my 3 best friends, Eric gave me a gift of some cash and at first i thought i'd buy tickets to see The Decemberists (who played Thursday night) and Arcade Fire (who are playing next month) but then paused to think... i'm just not feeling all that great physically, and big concerts don't sound all that fun right now. especially when you don't have someone fun to go with. so the money sat on my table for a long time till a better idea of what to do with it came along.
i've known a little bit about Lomography since i got into the digital pinhole photography class at the college this semester, but it wasn't until i saw this video that i was bitten by the bug. then i knew what to do with the money. buy a Holga and some 120 film. but being the depressed bipolar lad that i am, one camera wasn't enough. i also bought a Diana, and a Vilia because they all create different looking types of Lomo photographs. if you were to do a tag-search in Flickr you could see these differences. but i didn't stop there. another style of experimental photography i learned about is called Thru-the Viewfinder, or TtV. you take another antique type camera, a Kodak Duaflex and create what they call a contraption to attach your digital camera to shoot through it's viewfinder. well, i didn't stop there either. see, Sunday is Worldwide Pinhole Photography Day, and i know how to make my own pinhole cameras now but i was in the mood for something new and different... so i found this beauty and just had to have it. it arrived today and now i have to learn how to respool my roll of 120 film so that it shoots as 620. believe me, that is probably more complicated than you care to hear about. if you go so far as to look at all of the auctions i won on eBay you maybe curious about how i won them all. if so, ask...
ok, i think i was going to tell you something else but i'm not sure. one way you can tell that i'm depressed is that my Flickr uploads have greatly decreased. i am fast approaching my 2000th upload but compared to how i would upload anywhere from 20+ new photos a day i now only upload 1 new photo every couple of days. and it is usually just something i snapped with my phonecam. i have not used my DSLR since i was at the cemetery with Brenna.
and i AM going to go see some live music on Tuesday. the band, EXPLOSIONS IN THE SKY are going to play at Slim's. this will be my first time to shoot new concert photos since December, and it will be excellent music to disappear to. ok, and one last thing. there was one of the most thrilling writer interviews at LitPark this week. a woman named Jolene Siana who wrote a book that i think i am going to get huge inspiration from in the writing of my book.
ok, going silent again now...
xxoo,
dd.
my energy (physical/psychic) has really been messed up lately and i'm not entirely sure why, other than blaming it on the fact that i AM depressed. for the past 10 days i've been staying up until 4 or 5 am and sleeping till around noon, although today i didn't wake up till 1:30. there is one new medication that i started to take because i was experiencing numbness in my left hand. (my GP prescribed it - and i think it has increased a need to sleep more because many days i'll wake up early but then fall back asleep for a 3 hour nap.) today i decided NOT to take it to see if this correlation was true. and so far, no falling back asleep, but the numbness has come right back.
i made a phone call today to a Dr. Woodrow (symbolic because i went to Woodrow Wilson elementary school and a friend that i've known since kindergarten, Jan Wilson, well i just found out that her mother died), a psychiatrist that accepts Medi-Cal/Medi-Care to see if he is taking new patients. i fear that my health is in danger with my current p-doc. he just doesn't care. oh, and get this. to get this new doctor's name i phoned my previous p-doc, Dr. Simkovic - who was my doctor over 3 years ago. she returned my phone call the very next day. Dr. Dinaburg, current p-doc NEVER returns my phone calls unless i sincerely convince him that i'm dying. so pray for me that Dr. Woodrow is accepting new patients.
i spent $156 on eBay on some new photographic equipment this week. one of my 3 best friends, Eric gave me a gift of some cash and at first i thought i'd buy tickets to see The Decemberists (who played Thursday night) and Arcade Fire (who are playing next month) but then paused to think... i'm just not feeling all that great physically, and big concerts don't sound all that fun right now. especially when you don't have someone fun to go with. so the money sat on my table for a long time till a better idea of what to do with it came along.
i've known a little bit about Lomography since i got into the digital pinhole photography class at the college this semester, but it wasn't until i saw this video that i was bitten by the bug. then i knew what to do with the money. buy a Holga and some 120 film. but being the depressed bipolar lad that i am, one camera wasn't enough. i also bought a Diana, and a Vilia because they all create different looking types of Lomo photographs. if you were to do a tag-search in Flickr you could see these differences. but i didn't stop there. another style of experimental photography i learned about is called Thru-the Viewfinder, or TtV. you take another antique type camera, a Kodak Duaflex and create what they call a contraption to attach your digital camera to shoot through it's viewfinder. well, i didn't stop there either. see, Sunday is Worldwide Pinhole Photography Day, and i know how to make my own pinhole cameras now but i was in the mood for something new and different... so i found this beauty and just had to have it. it arrived today and now i have to learn how to respool my roll of 120 film so that it shoots as 620. believe me, that is probably more complicated than you care to hear about. if you go so far as to look at all of the auctions i won on eBay you maybe curious about how i won them all. if so, ask...
ok, i think i was going to tell you something else but i'm not sure. one way you can tell that i'm depressed is that my Flickr uploads have greatly decreased. i am fast approaching my 2000th upload but compared to how i would upload anywhere from 20+ new photos a day i now only upload 1 new photo every couple of days. and it is usually just something i snapped with my phonecam. i have not used my DSLR since i was at the cemetery with Brenna.
and i AM going to go see some live music on Tuesday. the band, EXPLOSIONS IN THE SKY are going to play at Slim's. this will be my first time to shoot new concert photos since December, and it will be excellent music to disappear to. ok, and one last thing. there was one of the most thrilling writer interviews at LitPark this week. a woman named Jolene Siana who wrote a book that i think i am going to get huge inspiration from in the writing of my book.
ok, going silent again now...
xxoo,
dd.
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