deeper dive into the chasm of understanding...

 Sorry if what I spoke yesterday came out rather bluntly, but it was the timbre that resonated with my soul's current energy... but, it was not explicit enough in detail to give a well enough rounded picture of just how well I am in my soul.

I am so extremely content with the status of my life right now. The greatest desire I have is to be able to visit and spend time with my grandchildren. Missing them is an experience of tragic loss for me, but I am not having the worst experience of this type of other humans on this planet. And this is a major theme I wanted to expand upon. 

In my experiences of "lack", I am experiencing the gift of being able to tap into the energy of others on this planet who are experiencing similar types of lack, and what I go on to do is share the deep flow of God's love that I feel in my heart to them. I literally "feel their pain" but rather than wallow in it, I swim in the oceans of abundance of the love of God to share with them, knowing that "this too shall pass"... these feelings of loss, of lack, of missing someone, of wanting more... these painful manors of thinking can be healed by feeling the great love of God, so I share my feelings of feeling Gods presence with all the others out there in the world hurting like I hurt. It is a manor of healing, but it's also a tool for not feeling so alone and cut off in the world.

The other experience I've been having is having full and complete gratitude. By that I mean that it's one thing to be grateful for all the good things we have in our lives, but it's a more complete experience to also express gratitude for the things that we do not have. Think about that for a moment... We always feel pressured by social norms to excel and aquire and grow in wealth and become kings and queens in this material world, but what about just being completely grateful that what we currently have is already enough? If I were to go on The Price is Right and win a new car, wow, that would be amazing, right? But what about all the new obligations that come along with that prize. And what if the feeling of being overjoyed by that experience of being given something that I did not earn on my own behalf threw me into a full blown manic experience and I got into a car crash and killed someone...  well, man, thats a little bit more extreme of a visualization than I meant to go with... but these kinda thoughts have crossed my imagination... (I have this little saying that I think I would say if I were on the Wheel of Fortune.. I win the game, spin the wheel at the end for the final puzzle, but can't guess the puzzle... Pat Sajak says, "Well, we can't give you the $100,000 prize ..." and I reply, "Thank God I got that wrong because all that money would have just led to trouble..."  haha, sigh, stupid, I know...

I was talking to Scarlett the other day about an idea I had if one of us were to win the billion dollar powerball prize... I said that we'd just HAVE to give tons of that money away to help others... and I said that I'd want to search the world for others who have lived lives similar to ourselves, maybe find them by studying their astrological charts to identfy the most troubled souls out there, then reach out to them, find out what their life dreams are and ask them just how much money do you need to make this come true for you.... Rather than just dumping money into non-profit organizations or other huge charities...

Okay, see what happened? You got me talking again, you oileed my joints and now I'b babbling like a brook.

I shared a comment on a reddit thread today where someone asked if it was possible to experience gratitude all of the time. I spoke of my experience of becoming quite close to being that way from the years I spent in the ashram. Through the repetition of the mantra, "Om Namah Shivaya", endlessly for nearly a decade, I turned my mind into a living being that saw the good in every type of experience. When good things happen, it's easy for people to be grateful. But what about when something "bad" happens, can you see how it's possible to be grateful for that too? The Hindu god Shiva is the Creator and Destroyer of the Universe, constantly in a cosmic dance of moving between these two acts of being, Creating the universe, as well as destroying it... It's all acts of God. We build up, we break down... it's all God expressing itself. and to find the magic key to be able to say, "Whoa, I just lost my job, THANK YOU GOD!" That takes a lot of time in this society to become able to understand the flow of life like that. I'm not completely there, but I'm a lot closer than I used to be, and repeating that mantra for 10 years was a huge key in gaining this awareness...

Ok, the creek is finished babbling for now...

Namaste