a shout in the darkness for understanding...

 I have not felt like writing here becuase it seems like nothing has changed since the last time I wrote. But things HAVE changed. They are worse, hehe, sigh. Which is a good thing. The harder life becomes in the material world, the more apt we are to discover greater more beauteous expereinces in the inner world. My inner life has become stronger and more beauteous over the past few months. I spend more time meditating, more time doing psychic and Reiki healings for others, and more time contemplating the hard questions of my life. I do not pray for a miracle of monetary abundance to fall into my lap anymore, but I pray for more of the Grace of God to enable me to endure the physical harshness of this world. 

So I'm in a period of flux and adjustment. Despire work as a pet sitter being abundant this time of year, the toils of inflation upon the economy make my earnings not as powerful to meet my basic needs. I live in a house with no heat, I eat a warm meal only once or twice a week, I don't drive my car unless I have to, yes, this is one of the most difficult months I've expereinced financially in years, but this all nudges me to go more inward to experience the abundance of love that God shares with me inside my heart.

I am not in pain, nor am I sad from these illusionary guises of lack. They don't feel like a test either, my faith in God is full and complete and I know that I have everything that I need, and I am grateful for these experiences that stretch my awareness and faith.

I think I'll leave it at this for now, but at least I've broken ground here finding my  voice again.