a new player has entered the arena...
and has given me a challenge to blog along with her on a daily basis. i've been such a sloppy and lazy blogger for months now, so i've told her that i'd accept her challenge. well, it's not THAT sort of dare. we're not going to fight if i said no, or if i miss a day writing, but we are good encouragers for each other in many other aspects of our lives, this is a good one to bring into the mix.
i need to be writing now anyway to get my fire started up for Nanowrimo. need to get a day countdown app running on my phone as a reminder of how little time there is left to prepare. oh there is so much that i could say about this matter right now, but even as i sit here writing these few words for you, blind reader (yes, i call you blind because i know that no one reads this blog anymore - which suits me fine...) i can already feel the mountains of misery amassing before me of the difficulties i will have to climb to discipline myself to get ready for this task. writing is work. hard work. you know this. i've bitched about it for years. but being even a little bit older than i was last November, the mind is wiser but more tired. and the body, well the body is a wreck.
yes, i am glad my friend asked me back here because i miss the alleyways i could roam along where my mind would just expound on the things it had no one else to talk about them with. i don't get opportunity to talk out loud with myself anywhere but here. i created my private blogs, which were extremely helpful but since NO ONE could read those writings, there was a sense that in only my being able to hear the words, only i could come up with the answers. those blogs are closed systems. except for the blog where i write to my muses. no one reads those either but i write them in such a manner that the words are directed in spirit to three specific beings; as prayers. so the interplay is alive. here, i'm going to continue writing as i did in the past with an attitude that what i'm talking about is of the nature of the things that i could carry on a conversation with a stranger. still personal, still weird, still all me.... just airing out the attic.
i have something so wonderful in my life right now that i'll probably start to talk about in here, but i have to mete it out carefully. it's a special friendship i'm enjoying with someone. i'll probably just restrain it to "daily journal" like entries for the most part. but personal analysis will come into it too. i'll let one bit slip out now... and this is a big chunk of info that'll leave some wondering what's going on. i'm going to see my therapist tomorrow to talk about "my friendship". not that there is anything wrong between my friend and i. i only see this therapist about once a year, one time. usually when there are so many things going on in my life that i feel "full and overflowing" with busy-ness and fear that my rationale could fail because i am faced with so many options and decisions all at once. the other thing is that i value this friendship more than any relationship i've had in such a long time in my life that i do not want to do anything that would damage it. this is my life, right now. and this woman, well, she is the best thing that i have to build a future upon. my friendship with her. just need to air out the attic and get some feedback from someone that can interpret warning signs... if i exhibit any.
tha's all for now....
i need to be writing now anyway to get my fire started up for Nanowrimo. need to get a day countdown app running on my phone as a reminder of how little time there is left to prepare. oh there is so much that i could say about this matter right now, but even as i sit here writing these few words for you, blind reader (yes, i call you blind because i know that no one reads this blog anymore - which suits me fine...) i can already feel the mountains of misery amassing before me of the difficulties i will have to climb to discipline myself to get ready for this task. writing is work. hard work. you know this. i've bitched about it for years. but being even a little bit older than i was last November, the mind is wiser but more tired. and the body, well the body is a wreck.
yes, i am glad my friend asked me back here because i miss the alleyways i could roam along where my mind would just expound on the things it had no one else to talk about them with. i don't get opportunity to talk out loud with myself anywhere but here. i created my private blogs, which were extremely helpful but since NO ONE could read those writings, there was a sense that in only my being able to hear the words, only i could come up with the answers. those blogs are closed systems. except for the blog where i write to my muses. no one reads those either but i write them in such a manner that the words are directed in spirit to three specific beings; as prayers. so the interplay is alive. here, i'm going to continue writing as i did in the past with an attitude that what i'm talking about is of the nature of the things that i could carry on a conversation with a stranger. still personal, still weird, still all me.... just airing out the attic.
i have something so wonderful in my life right now that i'll probably start to talk about in here, but i have to mete it out carefully. it's a special friendship i'm enjoying with someone. i'll probably just restrain it to "daily journal" like entries for the most part. but personal analysis will come into it too. i'll let one bit slip out now... and this is a big chunk of info that'll leave some wondering what's going on. i'm going to see my therapist tomorrow to talk about "my friendship". not that there is anything wrong between my friend and i. i only see this therapist about once a year, one time. usually when there are so many things going on in my life that i feel "full and overflowing" with busy-ness and fear that my rationale could fail because i am faced with so many options and decisions all at once. the other thing is that i value this friendship more than any relationship i've had in such a long time in my life that i do not want to do anything that would damage it. this is my life, right now. and this woman, well, she is the best thing that i have to build a future upon. my friendship with her. just need to air out the attic and get some feedback from someone that can interpret warning signs... if i exhibit any.
tha's all for now....
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