reverse action, backfire kindof...
with my nerves on edge about today's photoshoot, which primarily were based on dread of the drive into downtown Chicago, i had trouble sleeping last night. i fell asleep to early and too hard and was wide awake at 3am. so i fussed for a while with the tv and then tried to read more of succubus blues, thinking it would help activate a visitation from my mystery visitor from the morning before. it didn't work, and in fact started to foment some discontent in this writer's style of story telling. concluded that i'd probably toss the book before i gave it any realistic chance of winning me over.
anyway, i finally turned off the television and turned off the lights and curled up and closed my eyes tightly. slumber started to pull me back inside. then an interesting thought broke in. instead of waiting for the succubus to come to me when she was ready, maybe I could make an attempt to invite one of my multitude of female associates i work with to come to me, and just lay beside me until i fall asleep. i only had 4 hours left to sleep until i had to get up to prepare to leave for the long drive into downtown chicago.
the first girl I thought of was one of my closest model friends, Presh. i have felt an ongoing spiritual sort of connection to her from the first conversations we had in december of last year. and as soon as i thought of her i felt her astral body slide into my bed and she nestled in behind me under the covers. no words were necessary. we just started to synchronize our breathing and i started to come closer to being taken over by the sleep. but then i had one more thought, that i should call one more girl to come lay with us; and then the perfect idea came; call upon Jordan, the girl that I was going to work with today. and it's so simple; just call their names with sincerity and innocence, and they are there. no tension, no wanting, just fading into the all-ness that is around me and is me.
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{writing next day} that was going to be a much longer blog entry in which i was going to describe the nightmares i went on to experience after i fell back asleep. i may still record that dream here, but more importantly i need to share that my friend Presh, in fact just went through a series of very traumatic experiences this week and i now feel that it was she that called upon me to come and comfort her during those morning hours. i don't talk to her very often. it's hard for me to get a hold of her, but when she sends me a text message it usually is because she is in need of emotional support. i just wish she would not wait so long to shout out for it. she texted me very early this morning (3:45am) and i chatted with her when i woke up later. yeah, she needed me, badly.
i'll try to come back and write out the dream shortly.
anyway, i finally turned off the television and turned off the lights and curled up and closed my eyes tightly. slumber started to pull me back inside. then an interesting thought broke in. instead of waiting for the succubus to come to me when she was ready, maybe I could make an attempt to invite one of my multitude of female associates i work with to come to me, and just lay beside me until i fall asleep. i only had 4 hours left to sleep until i had to get up to prepare to leave for the long drive into downtown chicago.
the first girl I thought of was one of my closest model friends, Presh. i have felt an ongoing spiritual sort of connection to her from the first conversations we had in december of last year. and as soon as i thought of her i felt her astral body slide into my bed and she nestled in behind me under the covers. no words were necessary. we just started to synchronize our breathing and i started to come closer to being taken over by the sleep. but then i had one more thought, that i should call one more girl to come lay with us; and then the perfect idea came; call upon Jordan, the girl that I was going to work with today. and it's so simple; just call their names with sincerity and innocence, and they are there. no tension, no wanting, just fading into the all-ness that is around me and is me.
-------
{writing next day} that was going to be a much longer blog entry in which i was going to describe the nightmares i went on to experience after i fell back asleep. i may still record that dream here, but more importantly i need to share that my friend Presh, in fact just went through a series of very traumatic experiences this week and i now feel that it was she that called upon me to come and comfort her during those morning hours. i don't talk to her very often. it's hard for me to get a hold of her, but when she sends me a text message it usually is because she is in need of emotional support. i just wish she would not wait so long to shout out for it. she texted me very early this morning (3:45am) and i chatted with her when i woke up later. yeah, she needed me, badly.
i'll try to come back and write out the dream shortly.
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