long overdue UPDATE about living a normal, good life...

So many things have happened, I don't think it matters what I begin with. So I'll just let this flow...

• i got a JOB! who would ever have guessed that this would or COULD happen. but i've been working on putting the bug in the ear of a local employer since August that I was interested in working for them. And I knew I qualified well enough to be able to do the work. it's at Windmill Farms, our town "vegetable stand". They've been in business since 1974, when my family first moved here and I did work for them before, the first year I was married. i'm just working as a cashier, which is hella easy and fun. I need to get in touch with Social Security and with my welfare worker to let them know, but I think it's safe to wait until I get my first paycheck.
•  .... the implications of this are rather huge. I can start to do so many things, theoretically at least. like save money to make a trip to Ireland. and begin to pay off my student loan. even though i'm not making THAT much money (minimum wage) it's a beginning and this could also be the beginning of what could lead to getting an even better job. i do like this place though, it's low key and fits my personality and lifestyle really well.
• .... i am using the money from my first paycheck to buy a rather huge supply of kratom. 3 kilos of my fav strains which will last me through mid-year i project. after this, either the money goes straight into savings - i could also save up enough to take my class at UCSC.. which is probably a more realistic goal than Ireland..
• now here is a weird, simple thing that this responsibility has created for me. it's just enough of a reason to get up each day to make me feel just that, responsible. i have time i'm supposed to be somewhere to do things that someone depends on me for. i am no longer an entirely free agent that can do whatever they want, when they want. that little bit of a collar on me makes me suddenly feel like i can get more serious about how i use my time. in my time off, i could be working on my novel editing! which is an extremely good idea! i'm sure there are other things i'll be doing too.
• another thing that i wanted to talk about is my friendship with Scarlett. we have evolved so far now in having a mature and realistic connection as life partners. we are getting along extremely well. we went out last night after she got off work to the opening of a new kava bar in Berkeley and the thing that impressed me more than the kava was how well we fit into the scene there. we could easily have been misidentified as a "hipster couple", haha.
• i've began to eat like a vegetarian, for health reasons, or course. i want to lose weight, but i'm not sure how well that is working. i've lost a couple of pounds, but it's not coming off like i want it to - even though i'm exercising more... gonna have to up my game on this.

So that's about it, overall - the job being the huge thing. First job I've even been offered in 14 years of being disabled with bipolar disorder and it's mainly thanks to the revolutionary effect kratom has had on my physical and mental health.

There is one other thing that I could talk about but I'll just touch on it now. It's about my ancestry and how I've began to feel them come alive to me, spiritually, and how I'm learning that they can be, and are instrumental in helping me live a better life here in the now. I'll try to expose more of what I've been thinking and experiencing in some new posts. I'll note now that primarily I've been shocked by the development of a new experience of feeling in contact with my deceased father. Something I've never ever felt in a positive manner before. Its truly amazing!