When I was young...
I used to dream about travelling. Mainly during my teenage years I became infatuated with visions in my mind of going to faraway places to see the marvels of architecture and history and natural beauty unlike what is found in the area where I live. Not saying that where I live does not have it's own features of architectural, historical or natural beauty to espy, it's just that there are so many other places that you learn of where incredible things have happened, where incredible structures have been built (or were built and now lay in beautiful ruins), or where there are marvels of nature so different to the area where you live, you develop a desire to see these places in person. To experience them first hand. To have a, "I've seen it, now I believe it's real", type of experience.
I used to dream specifically of seeing Paris (truth be known, I still dream of seeing Paris), the ruins of Athens, the Scottish Highlands, the Fjords of Norway, and oddly enough, Tahiti. I remember dreamily gazing upon scenes of these places in documentaries or reading about them in travel brochures and thinking, "How wonderful it is that it's so simple to be able to get on a plane and go to such places whenever one desires...", once your an adult I put into the proposition because it was then that I figured was when all people became able to obtain enough monies to be able to make such journeys.
Then reality sank in when I moved from my teenage years into adulthood and I learned that money and the ability to earn it/find it/obtain it/ does not just happen so easily and the ability to get away to faraway places is not that easy at all. In the 40 odd years since I was a teenager and those dreams began I made three journeys to Europe, all to England and Ireland. And I stayed there when I got there. That was just the way things happened for me. I was in that region of the world for about 3 yrs. and returned to the U.S. just about 30 yrs ago. I have never left the U.S. since then. Why? Not for lack of desire, but for lack of opportunity and for lack of funds.
I woke up this morning with a sad realization that despite the strength of my desire as a youth, to do something that is so simple for so many people in our world to do, to have money to travel with, I am one of the large proportion that do not have that freedom or liberty. And I felt a strong sense of sadness because it felt like something I've given up on. I do feel like I have no power to bring about change in this area of my life. That when I say to people that I dream of seeing Paris one day, and they see how old I am and wonder why on earth have you not even been there yet... I know they sense that I am a man with little power to make things happen in his world.
That's what I have become. A dreamer that has lost faith in his ability to make things he desires happen. I dream of living in Santa Cruz. A town about 70 miles away from here. But I have no power of will, or pocket book to bring about this change for myself. I know it could be different. People make things happen differently in their lives all the time. I believe this is possible even for me. Jaded for so long.
I want to see Paris. And I want to see The Acropolis. I want to spend weeks in those places. Leisurely, just roaming the streets with a sense of not having to be anywhere until I am ready to go. I call upon the universe to allow me to have this change come about for my life and for someone that I can get along with happily to join me.
So mote it be.
I used to dream specifically of seeing Paris (truth be known, I still dream of seeing Paris), the ruins of Athens, the Scottish Highlands, the Fjords of Norway, and oddly enough, Tahiti. I remember dreamily gazing upon scenes of these places in documentaries or reading about them in travel brochures and thinking, "How wonderful it is that it's so simple to be able to get on a plane and go to such places whenever one desires...", once your an adult I put into the proposition because it was then that I figured was when all people became able to obtain enough monies to be able to make such journeys.
Then reality sank in when I moved from my teenage years into adulthood and I learned that money and the ability to earn it/find it/obtain it/ does not just happen so easily and the ability to get away to faraway places is not that easy at all. In the 40 odd years since I was a teenager and those dreams began I made three journeys to Europe, all to England and Ireland. And I stayed there when I got there. That was just the way things happened for me. I was in that region of the world for about 3 yrs. and returned to the U.S. just about 30 yrs ago. I have never left the U.S. since then. Why? Not for lack of desire, but for lack of opportunity and for lack of funds.
I woke up this morning with a sad realization that despite the strength of my desire as a youth, to do something that is so simple for so many people in our world to do, to have money to travel with, I am one of the large proportion that do not have that freedom or liberty. And I felt a strong sense of sadness because it felt like something I've given up on. I do feel like I have no power to bring about change in this area of my life. That when I say to people that I dream of seeing Paris one day, and they see how old I am and wonder why on earth have you not even been there yet... I know they sense that I am a man with little power to make things happen in his world.
That's what I have become. A dreamer that has lost faith in his ability to make things he desires happen. I dream of living in Santa Cruz. A town about 70 miles away from here. But I have no power of will, or pocket book to bring about this change for myself. I know it could be different. People make things happen differently in their lives all the time. I believe this is possible even for me. Jaded for so long.
I want to see Paris. And I want to see The Acropolis. I want to spend weeks in those places. Leisurely, just roaming the streets with a sense of not having to be anywhere until I am ready to go. I call upon the universe to allow me to have this change come about for my life and for someone that I can get along with happily to join me.
So mote it be.
Comments
So, what's up? Has my recorded URL of your blog been corrupted somehow?
Your post is interesting.
I used to spend a lot of time on "symbols" or "representations" of things I wished I could do.
I learned to just recently to engage with those goals and the means to attain them with the same "silent" and "intense" attentiveness as a baseball player in the outfield tracking a fly ball - it is quick and fast and intense and focused, and there is no time for the "scenarios", scripts, representations, and dream segments to intervene.
And... finally.... who is Julia Parodi?