sugar buzz breath of air...
had a slice of chocolate cake and a hot cup of ginger tea and feel a short burst of brightness to utter a few words. i had another appointment with my psychiatrist last week, and well, my arguments of defense to stay off meds failed. rather than my arguments not being strong enough in logic, i think it is that my powers to defend myself articulately have become weakened. psych appts are brief to begin with. i feel like my ability to argue broke down several appts ago when i began to complain about not being able to sleep for more than 4 hours straight.
so guess what? she recognized that my main complaint from the meds she's had me on was that i was becoming depressed and incapable of participating in my normal activities; like photo shoots and covering concerts and working on my book... so she decided to allow me to take an antidepressant; Lexapro. But no antidepressant without also taking a mood stabilizer. you won't believe what i agreed to try again - i still can't believe it - Lithium. yeah...
now? i'm sleeping 12-15 hours a day and getting nothing done. i've cocooned in a major way. just staying in bed and watching lots of television. trying to catch up on all of the old CSI reruns i've never seen and am fascinated by The Discovery Channel's "Deadliest Catch". also watch as many of the A's and Giant's games as i am able to. oh, and i've started to watch "Buffy" from the beginning again.
i have two concerts coming up that i am scheduled to cover on May 3 & 4; Opeth and Rush. if the concerts were tomorrow there is no way i'd be able to go. so i'm crossing my fingers that things will be different by next weekend. my reputation is in jeopardy with Ground Control as i had to cancel covering a concert just two weeks ago, and they were not pleased about that.
anyyyway, the important thing in this post is to thank those of you who have made contact with me either by email or telephone and i apologize for either taking time responding or not responding. see, what i described in my last post about the problem of losing my voice from not talking with people regularly is happening. i'm frozen up and afraid to speak. i'll try to call you back, maybe in the next week if the meds mellow out a bit.
oh, and i did not make my appt in Santa Cruz last weekend. going to try again to meet up with this model later in May.
so guess what? she recognized that my main complaint from the meds she's had me on was that i was becoming depressed and incapable of participating in my normal activities; like photo shoots and covering concerts and working on my book... so she decided to allow me to take an antidepressant; Lexapro. But no antidepressant without also taking a mood stabilizer. you won't believe what i agreed to try again - i still can't believe it - Lithium. yeah...
now? i'm sleeping 12-15 hours a day and getting nothing done. i've cocooned in a major way. just staying in bed and watching lots of television. trying to catch up on all of the old CSI reruns i've never seen and am fascinated by The Discovery Channel's "Deadliest Catch". also watch as many of the A's and Giant's games as i am able to. oh, and i've started to watch "Buffy" from the beginning again.
i have two concerts coming up that i am scheduled to cover on May 3 & 4; Opeth and Rush. if the concerts were tomorrow there is no way i'd be able to go. so i'm crossing my fingers that things will be different by next weekend. my reputation is in jeopardy with Ground Control as i had to cancel covering a concert just two weeks ago, and they were not pleased about that.
anyyyway, the important thing in this post is to thank those of you who have made contact with me either by email or telephone and i apologize for either taking time responding or not responding. see, what i described in my last post about the problem of losing my voice from not talking with people regularly is happening. i'm frozen up and afraid to speak. i'll try to call you back, maybe in the next week if the meds mellow out a bit.
oh, and i did not make my appt in Santa Cruz last weekend. going to try again to meet up with this model later in May.
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