THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

i gá a thaifeadadh an dáta seo do na glúine ar mhaithe toisc go bhfuil crosbhóthar mór bainte amach. Is é mo cairdeas le óg Miss Scarlett i mbaol de dar críoch. agus díreach mar a thosaigh mé a scríobh seo amach le hintinn go hiomlán chun dul i domhain le léargais agus na mínithe ar cad a tharla dúinn a thabhairt chuig an bpointe seo (a bhí i réidh le dul isteach i doimhneacht an oiread sin go raibh mé ag dul a aistriú an téacs seo go Fraincis ionas go mba aon duine a stumble ar seo bheadh ​​siad ag dul trí roinnt iarracht chun a fháil amach cad a bhí scríofa i - ach amháin ar ndóigh, bhí siad ina labhraítear Fraincis). Ach anois go bhfuil mé ag scríobh nach bhfuil mé gur mhaith leat cuma a insint duit cad a tharla. Ní gá dom a aer mo cheann amach. Ní gá dom gearán a dhéanamh. Ní gá dom a mhíniú mo thaobh den scéal. Cad é is cóir agus beidh mé ag déileáil leis. Beidh mé a rá go bhfuil mé wounded mór ag an méid a tharla. Go mothaíonn gach lá ar an scaradh óna cosúil le bás. Gur thug ...

you know why i like the dark seasons (autumn & winter)? because they give me permission to be a depressive. at least that is what i've exemplified for myself as a cry of victory over the majority of my lifetime.  its more okay to be depressed during these months than it is when the sun is constantly shining. i'm not going to say any of what's on my mind or in my heart properly or succinctly enough in this entry because i'm very out of practice with writing. i'm out of practice with communicating outwardly and publicly. i have been living in secrecy for a very long time now and mete out what i want to be known in teaspoon fulls, but not to anyone in particular. i am becoming obscure and reclusive. it's been roughly a year since i left facebook and my goal of making stronger, real seeming relationships with people not  using that platform of communication has floundered. the majority of the members of the modern world that have been swept up into the easines...

i hope i will never fully understand why this song moves me so much. Pretty bird with feathers falling Pretty as a lady calling For her pink and midnight lover As she stares into the water And a yellow moon is rising And there can`t be no disguising That the pretty bird is dying With a silver arrow lying at its side Rivers of blood, oceans of tears, life without death, and death without reason To the whole United Nations, To your greatest expectations To the moment that you realize As a dark figure slips from out of the shadow Pretty bird closes its eyes, pretty bird dies Another pretty thing dead on the end of the shaft Of the Zen Archer A man in parts forgotten With an outlook that is rotten And an attitude to match it Finds relief inside a hatchet And he halved someone in Boulder Justifiability is in the hands of the beholder And you just don`t know what people will do next Mountains of pain, valleys of love, death without life, and life withou...

she's the love of my life, pure and simple. by that i mean she is the most ultimate match of my soul that iv'e ever come across yet and she fills up my life now . our lives are an enigma that neither of us can decipher the mystery of, and we love it. yet we are not boy and girl friend, we are not lovers. we are soul mates, of a sort. there are so many similarities that we share in our interests and in our life goals, but it goes deeper because we have become joined somehow inside, in a way that makes us aware of and concerned about the condition and needs of the other, more than anything or anyone else. i care more about her well being than my own. anyway, i could go on and on about this, and perhaps will one day to more explicitly pinpoint what this unique elemental structure is because it's so strong and it's making life partners out of us, we both know it. not life partners that will be completed as physical lovers are, but life partners because of all the other wa...

so the old "lotto fever" has crept back into my noggin. i've had the feeling since i first became responsible for the lives of others back when i was a young man, got married and started a family. there was an imbalance of some sort in my karmic/financial balance in this lifetime that's made me be unable to ever have enough finances to take care of all of the things i need to take care of. i've never been "dirt poor", but i've never been out of debt either. and were an emergency to arise, a true, life altering emergency of any magnitude; well there's never been any source of income to fall back upon to take care of such situations. blah blah blah... blah blah blah, stfu, okay?? well, to balance out all of that poverty mentality and poverty reality, i started to have imaginations (or inspirations) about being blessed by god with a gift of magnanimous wealth. thing is, it never happened. ever. not then when i was young. not in my 30s or 40s eithe...

when you plant seeds of desire deeply enough into your heart and water them with strong enough wishes for them to grow, and come true... as corny as this sounds, be prepared for eventual fulfillment of those wishes. i think that a combination of clarity of desire, intensity of focus when installing the desired vision, and continual care... not just casting a wish to the wind once and saying, "if it comes true, great. if it does not, no loss to me." how badly one needs their wish to come true will be illustrated by their determination to burn the image into reality through obsessive dedication. want that thing like you've wanted nothing else before. about 6 years ago a heartfelt need arose in my life to just have a simple friend to spend time with. i wished hard for this need to come true. read back through the archives of this blog and you'll see pages and pages of these yearnings. and i got little bits of answers to this need/desire/wish for short bits of time, her...

we receive so many great gifts over the course of our lifetimes so it's hard to say that one is ultimately the greatest; especially when you have lived a long life where many, many great things have been received (or achieved). the point is to be conscious of what is great now, today, and to be appreciative of it, to revel in it, to make it stay important and great so that it won't die and go away; not today or ever. this is what my current best-friendship is like. it truly is the greatest gift in my life because it is what is making me feel joyous about living right now and gives me light in my eyes about wanting to go on living. not gonna go overboard on being gushy about this because i want to jump down a couple of levels into another greatest gift of my life that has arisen out of this great gift. for the sake of privacy of my friend and i, i'm not going to go into elaborate detail (if i were writing this in my private blog i could/would) about how i/we got to this ...