THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

Nanowrimo, National Novel Writing Month, occurs during the month of November every year. I successfully completed writing a 50,000 word novel by participating in this project one year, 2004 I believe it was. Did I ever go back to edit or rewrite that piece of "work". I might have played around with it for a couple of months but basically gave up on it. The years since I ceremoniously jump on the projects bandwagon but have not completed it again. This year I felt a little more ambitious about the project, and actually, each year I cumulate an aura of energy and excitement about the work I have done on my real, ongoing novel project for my book about the story of a young girl haunted by the ghost of a literary master and use November to get more focused and centralized. November is like my "New Years" when I make resolutions to work more and harder on finishing the novel. Am I actually any closer to getting this thing finished? No, not really but in the last year the...

i've been working harder the past month than i have in a very long time. i'm not asking for credit or a payoff (liar, yes i am !) - damn! ok, so i wrote a review for a concert i went to last Tuesday night - submitted it in 2 days (not expected to be turned in for 4 days). then i go to another concert Friday night. i photograph 3 bands and write a review. turned it all in in 2 days. i have not received any acknowledgment from the magazine yet. maybe because it is the weekend. what i am suspecting is that maybe i'm blowing their minds a bit in that i am turning my work in so fast. another thing bothering/worrying me is that my partner at the zine, "M", has not returned my calls or emails since I last saw him on Tuesday night after the show that night. I was so tired that I did not offer him a drive home. i mean, i don't think he ever gets rides home but from me, and it's not like he is not used to taking the bus - it wasn't raining. so i am thinking he ...

i don't even know how to start to venture into contemplating these questions right now without admitting to you that i am sitting here crying while listening to music. what is that all about? why do i cry? because love has hurt me. it is pain that is released when i hear beautiful music, not joy. or is it joy? a bittersweet joy? i have so much love inside of me yet i get to share it with no one. i get to dote on no one. i get to kiss no one. i get to hug no one, well, or so few... i want to hold someone, i want to ravish someone, i want someone to look forward to seeing me... actually, these are not all truths. not right now. there is someone new in my life that hugs me. i haven't kissed her though. and she does look forward to seeing me. the thing though is that she cannot take me fully into her life right now. so again, i feel denied the fulfillment of these experiences. it hurts though being here in my room, my bed, still alone. is it the wanting that makes not having hurt? ...

It feels as if my life is just beginning to hit it's stride. Remember I talked about cycles of 7 years being significant restorative periods of time? And that this year I am living my 7th 7 (turned 49 years old in September)? Tomorrow night I have the biggest photo gig of my life so far. I have photo/press passes to cover the Coheed and Cambria concert at The Warfield in San Francisco. I have earned the privilege of receiving regular photo and writing assignments for the online music zine, groundcountrolmag . After the first concert review I wrote for them last month they asked me to send them a "wish list" of shows that I would like to cover. I will be at a minimum, the writer for upcoming shows by The Cult, The Waterboys, and Queens of the Stone Age. How this worked out for me to be the writer and photographer for C&C happened (I think) because I only requested the show last week and they didn't have a photographer available for the show! Am I jazzed? Yeah, yo...

Long time readers know that I've had this obsession/fascination with the idea of obtaining a handful of grave dirt from Eugene O'Neill's gravesite for a very long time now (over 2 years). Not having a jet-setting income and being able to get myself to Boston to do this myself I sought a web buddy that lived in the area to do the deed for me. Two years of searching forums, posting to craigslist-boston, begging area photographers that had an inkling for the bizarre... this last option proved the most promising as this past summer there was a young woman in northern Massachusetts that was doing self portraits in cemeteries and she became intrigued by the idea of doing this for me. Alas, I know not why she failed the task other than she got busy with school and other elements of life. Then, about two weeks ago I created a new group in Flickr called "Cemetery People". A place to contribute photos of people inside cemeteries. I spent a weekend combing Flickr looking fo...