post memorial memories
i did not attend Coach Marshall's memorial service. not in person, at least. i genuinely sense that my presence was preferred to be absent by at least one person there, Son Halliday. why he would have any sort of long running resentment against me for nigh on 40 years is something that exists only in his mind.
a little recent back-story that i can share; about 2 or 3 years ago a woman that attended Monte Vista at the time we were all there, a close friend of the Halliday girls, a woman who's name escapes me right now - found and contacted me through Facebook. she struck up a very personal conversation asking about how my life had been and told me very personal facts about her life, including the harsh reality that she had lost the life of a young daughter. after introductory niceties were over she got to the point of why she was really contacting me.
Coach Marshall had been put into a nursing home up in Sacramento and was lonely. the kids were all too busy to both, take care of him personally any more, and to visit him regularly and she wanted to know if i had time or interest in visiting him once a week, "to sit with him and play checkers, or chat". first off, i was so moved to learn that he was still alive. i had not heard a whisper about his existence since the last time i had seen him in 1978 when i dropped by the MV campus with Alan one day. it was so funny, we saw Coach and that other bitchy teacher we had for social science and they both wanted to hear what we were doing with our lives. Alan said he was getting his pilot's license and they were both very excited by that. when i said i was working on an organic farm, Coach said something like, "So you're just shoveling horse shit all day, eh?"
anyway, i told this friend of the family that i would be more than happy to hang out with coach. i explained my situation about being unemployed and my personal health conditions, that i probably could only go up there twice a month max but she said that would be perfect. she was going to contact the sisters who lived in southern California to let them know she found someone that wanted to help, and have them contact me with more details. i can't remember but i think she said she was going to contact Neil too. well, i never heard from anyone. i wrote back to the friend of the family a couple of times over the next month or two and never got a response, ever again.
during the time of the service yesterday i didn't feel anything. no negative vibes, thats for sure but just no vibes. then around 6:00pm when i was going down to the cafe i suddenly got a wave of energy into my heart that felt like it came from coach and it made me smile, like he was letting me know that he knew i was thinking about him and that it was okay that i didn't go, and that whatever the kids' hangups were, they were assholes for holding resentments. whatever, right? i'll find where his plot is in Alamo Cemetery and go hang out with him in a few weeks. you know i will :)
what i wrote for his guest book, i didn't copy it but it went something like this, or had some of these components:
"Coach Marshall is the rare kind of person you only get to meet once in a thousand lifetimes. He's like the Dalai Lama, a wise man gifted with an ability to awaken people to hidden and higher powers within themselves. Even when he was kicking your ass in the gym, or poking you with his cane, he did it with respect and love. I wouldn't have gotten as far in my life as I have if it weren't for what he taught me, but there have been far too many times when I have said "I can't do it." Maybe now that he is where he can see everything, we'll all be inspired to try a little harder. I wish I could have known him better." (paraphrase from memory)
Aside from using the expression "kicking your ass", the only other reason I can see that they would not print this was because it was from me... oh well.
God bless you old man, we'll hang, soon :)
a little recent back-story that i can share; about 2 or 3 years ago a woman that attended Monte Vista at the time we were all there, a close friend of the Halliday girls, a woman who's name escapes me right now - found and contacted me through Facebook. she struck up a very personal conversation asking about how my life had been and told me very personal facts about her life, including the harsh reality that she had lost the life of a young daughter. after introductory niceties were over she got to the point of why she was really contacting me.
Coach Marshall had been put into a nursing home up in Sacramento and was lonely. the kids were all too busy to both, take care of him personally any more, and to visit him regularly and she wanted to know if i had time or interest in visiting him once a week, "to sit with him and play checkers, or chat". first off, i was so moved to learn that he was still alive. i had not heard a whisper about his existence since the last time i had seen him in 1978 when i dropped by the MV campus with Alan one day. it was so funny, we saw Coach and that other bitchy teacher we had for social science and they both wanted to hear what we were doing with our lives. Alan said he was getting his pilot's license and they were both very excited by that. when i said i was working on an organic farm, Coach said something like, "So you're just shoveling horse shit all day, eh?"
anyway, i told this friend of the family that i would be more than happy to hang out with coach. i explained my situation about being unemployed and my personal health conditions, that i probably could only go up there twice a month max but she said that would be perfect. she was going to contact the sisters who lived in southern California to let them know she found someone that wanted to help, and have them contact me with more details. i can't remember but i think she said she was going to contact Neil too. well, i never heard from anyone. i wrote back to the friend of the family a couple of times over the next month or two and never got a response, ever again.
during the time of the service yesterday i didn't feel anything. no negative vibes, thats for sure but just no vibes. then around 6:00pm when i was going down to the cafe i suddenly got a wave of energy into my heart that felt like it came from coach and it made me smile, like he was letting me know that he knew i was thinking about him and that it was okay that i didn't go, and that whatever the kids' hangups were, they were assholes for holding resentments. whatever, right? i'll find where his plot is in Alamo Cemetery and go hang out with him in a few weeks. you know i will :)
what i wrote for his guest book, i didn't copy it but it went something like this, or had some of these components:
"Coach Marshall is the rare kind of person you only get to meet once in a thousand lifetimes. He's like the Dalai Lama, a wise man gifted with an ability to awaken people to hidden and higher powers within themselves. Even when he was kicking your ass in the gym, or poking you with his cane, he did it with respect and love. I wouldn't have gotten as far in my life as I have if it weren't for what he taught me, but there have been far too many times when I have said "I can't do it." Maybe now that he is where he can see everything, we'll all be inspired to try a little harder. I wish I could have known him better." (paraphrase from memory)
Aside from using the expression "kicking your ass", the only other reason I can see that they would not print this was because it was from me... oh well.
God bless you old man, we'll hang, soon :)
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